‘How to Get a Girl Pregnant’ is a heartwarming memoir about a butch lesbian’s journey to motherhood

How to Get a Girl Pregnant is a heartwarming, humorous and candid memoir by Karleen Pendleton Jiménez  that was published by Tightrope Books in 2011. If you are a lesbian couple hoping to have a baby, a butch woman or someone in love with one, or a two-mom family of any kind, really, you’ll relate to this book.

Karleen has wanted to have a baby for as long as she can remember. But one crucial element was missing in the life of the butch Chicana lesbian — the sperm. Though at times lighthearted, such as when Karleen considers all of the potential options for fertilization — some anonymous, some not — it is a weighty topic, and one that will change her life forever.

Here are two excerpts from the original memoir, which we highly recommend, as its a must-read for same-sex families, and bi and multi-racial/mixed families as well.  The book is available on Amazon.

“From How to Get a Girl Pregnant by Karleen Pendleton Jiménez (Tightrope Books, 2011). Reproduced with permission of Tightrope Books.”

The problem is that I have no idea how to look like someone who wants sperm. I know how to get a girl. I’ve mastered the lesbian cues, expectations, desires—Damn, I want the woman in the tight black miniskirt drinking the Corona at the end of the bar. I could watch her carefully, buy her another one just as she finishes, and then move in.

Knock it off. Focus on the men. I scan the room. Assessing men for their sperm is difficult for even the most politically astute of lesbians. What is it exactly I should look for, or avoid, in a sperm donor? In a bar, with only a few minutes to judge a potential father, I am a sucker for the superficial.

The author also speaks candidly about issues that face butch women specifically, and it makes us fall in love with her even more. She writes,

I didn’t know until that moment that I wanted a baby, but when asked the question, there was no hesitation. I knew that I wanted a baby like I knew I wanted to breathe, eat, live. I spoke it and that truth became part of how I have seen myself in the world.

I also learned in that moment that my appearance, my boyishness, would lead people to believe otherwise. As a butch, I would alarm proper women like my mother, who would see me as someone who wasn’t going to make a family, make babies, make a home.