Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (Septemeber 3, 2010) Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, a new Amber Heard video and more!

Angie Harmon. The avowed Republican appeared on Chelsea Lately and proclaimed her love for gay people. Too bad she didn’t explain exactly how she reconciles the gay love with her support of anti-gay political candidates (Sarah Palin) or “opposite marriage” enthusiasts (former Miss California Carrie Prejean).

CBS’s gay employee group. CBS Networks has launched a new gay employee affinity group called Angle. From the looks of their most recent GLAAD report card, they should also create a few new gay TV characters who would be eligible to join. 

Small Faces. Marvel is promising not to “whitewash” the characters in the film adapation of the Runaways comic. We’re hoping this loyalty to the original subject matter extends to maintaining the lesbianism of the Karolina Dean.g

Jimena Navarrete. The newly crowned Miss Universe from Mexico supports gay marriage. Being pro-gay goes global!

Omaha World-Herald Newspaper. After a lesbian couple’s family started a Facebook campaign to end the paper’s discriminatory policy of not selling announcement space to same-sex couples, the paper will now allow legal gay wedding announcements. Now if we can just get gay
marriage legalized in Nebraska …

Lady Gaga. The singer wants to be ordained so she can marry gay couples, onstage. She now pronounces you little monster and little monster. You may now kiss the monster.

Sweden. Scandinavian airline SAS is accepting entries from gay couples who want to get hitched mid-flight from Stockholm to New York on December 6. Please place your bouquets in the upright position and fasten your cummerbunds.

Margaret Cho. The bisexual comic will join the cast of Dancing with the Stars. With people placing their bets on Brandy and Jennifer Grey to dominate, we say you should never underestimate the power of the gay fanbase.

Mary-Louise Parker. The actress says she is ready and willing to play a lesbian on TV and encourages fans to start a letter-writing campaign. “Dear Showtime, We’ll forgive you for The Real L Word if you green-light some girl love for Mary-Louise. Love, the lesbians.”

The 2010 Emmys. With big wins for Jane Lynch, Glee and Modern Family, this was the gayest Emmy broadcast in years, even without Neil Patrick Harris as host.

Miami radio host Stugotz. If Martina Navratilova doesn’t want to answer all your questions, calling her a bitch on the air won’t make her want to do it. We doubt that method is one of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”

Dirty cops. Four prison guards have been suspended for watching two female cellmates have sex from their security cameras. Why were they suspended? Because they’re supposed to break up that sort of “inappropriate behavior,” not … observe. We suggest they watch a few episodes of Bad Girls when they’re off duty and stay focused on the job during business hours.

Findlay, Ohio. Lesbian cadet Katie Miller says her hometown has been harsh since she came out publicly against Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. On the bright side, Katie is headed off to Yale, so she won’t have to be stuck around small-minded bigots, population 38,967.

Kim Stolz. The out MTV VJ/reporter went to Six Flags with some friends to talk with some girls about their periods. Would it have been better or worse if the acting hadn’t been so atrocious?

Lindsay Lohan. According to “a source,” the actress was “disinvited” to the premiere of her new film Machete. Funny, a Robert Rodriguez party seems like the perfect place for a (reformed?) bad girl.

Brandi on Bad Girls Club. Trying to force your roommate to have sex with you and then threatening her with a cheese grater isn’t the kind of visibility we were hoping for. Even by reality TV standards, it was embarrassing.

Danielle Staub. While claiming to be a lesbian and calling herself a gay advocate, Danielle lets her male friend refer to some guys as “faggots” and refused to apologize for it on The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion. Guess she’s “real close” to being unclaimed by the gays (and Lori Michaels).

Persons Unknown. The summer mini-series finally gives us what we want when Janet and Erika kiss, but our fantasy is ruined when we find out it was part of an elaborate plot to have Janet killed. We hate when lesbians pull that “I really want to kiss you … I mean kill you!” crap.

Cheltenham’s Lepage Primary. A children’s school in Victoria, Australia has altered the famous song “Kookabura Sits in the Old Gum Tree” by taking out the word “gay” and substituting it with “fun.” At least they didn’t try to switch it out for “straight”; that’s no fun at all.

Nancy Heche. Anne Heche’s mom has co-authored, The Complete Christian Guide To Understanding Homosexuality, an anti-gay book with a “Levitical call for death to gays.” Well that’s not very Christian of her, now is it?