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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (October 22, 2010): We gay up the People’s Choice Awards and Ellen expands her empire

The Alien prequel. Script details were recently leaked then removed, by according to ShadowLocked.com, the film includes some tough lesbian crew members. Does this mean they found a way to clone Private Vasquez?

Perfect Family. The new film stars Emily Deschanel and Angelique Cabral as her hot girlfriend. We’re wondering which Deschanel sister’s lesbian film will be best – Perfect Family or Zooey Deschanel‘s ceMay the most convincing gayschenel prevail!

Carol Leifer. Instead of pitching her half-hour spec script for Have a Great Day in the traditional manner, the out comic and writer is taking an entrepreneurial approach and hosting a star-studded table read for network and studio buyers and producers in LA. We suspect that Suze Orman would approve.

Revel & Riot. Founder Emy Storey, the artistic director behind Tegan and Sara‘s merchandise and album art, has created a company for and about the LGBT community. The merch is fun, political, gay-positive and fashionable, just like you.

Israel’s Dancing with the Stars. Lesbian TV journalist Gili Shem Tov will be paired with a female dancer in the upcoming season of the competition. May we nominate Rachel Maddow, Wanda Sykes and Portia Lee James DeGeneres for the U.S. version when producers are eventually (and inevitably) shamed into following suit?

The Lip Service DVD. Universal will release the Season One DVD on November 15. Can Universal also say “region-free”? We sure hope so!

Las Aparicio. The first season of the Mexican TV show wrapped this week with Julia and Mariana getting hitched. Their domestic lives may turn out to be more filled with drama than bliss, but we still give them our blessing.

Skins America. The first promo for the US version of the beloved UK series was released this week. Sex, drugs, friendship, heartache and a teen lesbian named Tea. The countdown to the Jan 2011 premiere begins!

Spirit Day. The idea (from teenager Brittany McMillan) to wear purple on Oct. 20 to honor the teenagers who have taken their own lives in recent weeks and show support for LGBT youth who still face pressure and bullying was embraced by high-profile folks like Jewel, Dixie Chicks, Ellen DeGeneres, Kathy Griffin, Jane Velez-Mitchell, Jenna Ushkowitz and the cast of Glee.

The It Gets Better Project. The project, launched by writer Dan Savage and his partner, has amassed over 2000 videos and 10 million video views. Among those 2000 videos are one by President Obama and another by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

The Talk. Sara Gilbert and company debuted their new View-style talk show this week. It was a bit light on substance (save for the Spirit Day discussion) and a bit heavy on “cupcake.” (Ask co-host Leah Remini, she’ll explain … and she’ll try not to be “disgusting” when she does it.)

Michael Ausiello (aka “The Messenger”). The EW.com writer had some bad news for those fans who want to know if Quinn and Rachel will be hooking up on Glee. He says, “Sorry, no. If it’s any consolation, it looks like the frenemies get fairly close to first base in the new GQ.”

Piranha 3 DD. Dimension Films is rushing to get Piranha 3D in theaters by August 2011. We need more ridiculous faux lesbian eroticism, and we need it as quickly as possible!

The Young and the Restless. According to Soap Opera Digest, the CBS soap canned out actress Clementine Ford, whose last appearance will be Nov. 5. So much for the lesbian demographic!

French eBay. The company is hosting a contest in which the winners could live rent-free for a year in an apartment in Paris. The contest is open only to couples composed of “a male adult and a female adult.” Whatever happened to gay Paris?

Byron Davis. The New Jersey metal band God Forbid member made offensive remarks about Lady Gaga (“I’m still not sure if she’s a woman or not”), Lindsay Lohan (“I’d like to bang her cause she’s a lesbian. It’d be fun; she can bring her friend with her”) and Lil’ Kim (“She’s a dirty ho”). We’d like to open up a can of Otep Shamaya whupass on him. Jerk.

Homophobic security guards. A lesbian couple was asked to leave a Raleigh, NC mall by a security guard offended by their (tame) display of physical affection. Fortunately, one of the women, Caitlin Breedlove, is an experienced gay rights activist. She’s already told her story on CNN and the mall property owners have apologized and are planning sensitivity training for security staff.

The Boy Scouts of America. The father of a 9-year-old Cub Scout was forced out of a leadership role with the Scouts and ordered not to wear its uniform because of his sexual orientation. But they’ll still let him fund raise for them. Scout’s “honor”?

Maggie Gallagher. In an editorial for The New York Post, the anti-gay bigot and president of the National Organization for Marriage argues that marriage equality wouldn’t reduce LGBT teen suicides.

Ugandan Rolling Stone. The weekly newspaper published a list of 100 gay men and lesbians along with their photos and addresses, accusing them of “recruiting” children to homosexuality and calling for them to be hanged. Managing editor Giles Muhame said it was his duty as a journalist to “expose the evil in our society.” And that he did.

GAYING UP THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS

Get thee to the polls! No, I’m not talking about the midterm elections – although you should do that, too – but these polls require just as many of your civic duties: The People’s Choice Awards 2011!

Although your votes won’t determine the fate of our economy, foreign policy decisions, or whether queer/queer-friendly politicians will finally dominate the house, they will determine just how gay are the outcomes to such momentous races as “Favorite Actress,” “Favorite TV Drama,” and “Best Lesbian Subtext and Sexual Tension.” OK, maybe not the last one, but here at AE, we reserve the right to write-in our own, cooler nominees and categories. Let’s get down to gaying up the polls, shall we?

First, we take a look at some of the orthodox categories and how you can add some rainbow to the noms.

Write-in: Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw, a.k.a. Dr. Calzona, Grey’s Anatomy.

The poll for this race has almost every self-indulgent, sexually active doctor from Grey’s, yet it blatantly excluded two of the hottest, most talented doctors at Seattle Grace: Dr. Torres & Dr. Robbins. They’re the only ones who actually seem to be doing their jobs, plus they find time to play Cupid for others and redecorate their apartment. Do write them in so as to reflect who the people really want to operate on them.

Write-in: Olivia Wilde as Dr. Remy “Thirteen” Hadley, House.

How typical that they’d nominate Dr. House but not the brooding, bisexual and suspender-wearing Thirteen. She’s so considerate: even though she didn’t know the name of her one-night-stand hook-up, when the young lady had a seizure post-getting it on (Thirteen is obvi that good), Thirteen was all up on her – I mean, finding the answer to her medical mystery. Though she’s on hiatus from the show for a while, Thirteen is clearly one of our favorite TV doctors.

Our pick: Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester, Glee.

She’s the funniest human being on TV right now. I’d like to see any other actor/actress take on the Adidas track suit and try to hold a candle to her deadpan delivery and hysterical insults oozing with venom. Yeah, not happening.

Write-in: Archie Panjabi as Kalinda Sharma, The Good Wife

Though her right-hand woman (nope, I don’t have that backward) Alicia (Julianna Margulies) is in the running, the sexually fluid Kalinda should own this category, hands down. No one else can make private investigating look so easy and darn good – especially in leather and boots. Plus, if she’s Emmy-worthy, she’s definitely People’s Choice-worthy.

Our Pick: Pretty Little Liars is actually a nominee! U bitches bettr vote 4 Emily+Maya 4evr.

Write-ins: Skins, The Real L Word, Las Aparicio, Lip Service, Thintervention with Jackie Warner, Coronation Street – jeez, People’s Choice Awards, don’t you know anything about quality TV obsessions?

Our pick: Amanda Seyfriend for her repeat lesbian/lesbian-ish performances in the all-too-twisted-yet-oh-so-sexy Chloe and the laughable-yet-entertaining Jennifer’s Body (I know it’s so old, but credit is due where deserved, right?).

Honorable Mention: Poor Angelina Jolie has turned into somewhat of a cliché choice these days, but she should still get your love for kicking so many asses and taking more names than a phone book in this summer’s Salt. You go, girl.

Write-in: The Kids Are All Right

Regardless of on which heated side of the debate your were about certain, ahem, plot developments, we’ve gotta give props to Lisa Cholodenko for giving us Julianne Moore and Annette Bening as life partners on the big screen. Bonus points to Julianne for being a fictional lesbian all-star.

Finally, we create a few of our own categories:

Our pick: Brittana finally getting on. Thank grilled cheesus for DVR because we rewound and played the precious moments between our two favorite Cheerios roughly one million times to make sure they really did say “it’s a nice break from all that scissoring.” Sweet lady kisses, what a great scene.

Honorable Mention: Brittany S. Pierce as B. Spears. Santana better get her act together and be nicer to Brittany.

Our pick: Rose from The Real L Word. Although we all loved to hate Jenny Schechter in the final season of The L Word, Rose is a real person. A real mean person.

Write-ins: Bigots, homophobes, racists, bullies, and soulless politicians that possess all of the aforementioned traits.

Our pick: Rizzoli & Isles. As Dorothy Snarker said, “This show is super-duper gay,” without actually being gay. I expect to see some pinky-holding ASAP, ladies.

Honorable mention: Although I, personally, don’t get it, I’d get mauled if I didn’t mentionDianna Agron and Lea Michele, aka Quinn and Rachel from Glee, a.k.a. Achele – what are the kids calling them these days? The forums are pretty convincing, however.

(Note: Brittana no longer is eligible for “sexual tension,” since we have confirmation that there is some “scissoring” going on. See above.)

Write-in: (insert your lesbian subtext with another female) Drummerdeeds and Olivia Wilde. What? We have a lot of sexual tension, you don’t even know. Oh wait – neither does she.

It’s now your job to gay up the polls as much as possible! Dream big and it could happen. America is counting on you.

– by drummerdeeds

On Spirit Day, Ellen DeGeneres welcomed to her show out Fort Worth City Councilman Joel Burns (and his mom) to talk about his amazing anti-bullying statement.

Check out the gorgeous new posters for Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis‘s upcoming lesberotic psychological thriller, Black Swan.

VH1 is working with Queen Latifah‘s Flavor Unit Entertainment on, Single Ladies, a movie and a series about three female friends. Two of the three women are described specifically as looking for men, and the third is said to be looking for a “true partner,” which could also be code for “personal trainer.”

Facebook is joining forces with MTV, GLAAD, The Trevor Project, GLSEn and PFLAG to create a “Network of Support.”

Lauren Ambrose will, along with Jennifer Aniston, take part in a lesbian threesome in the Judd Apatow film Wanderlust.

The first episode of Kate McKinnon‘s new webseries, Vag Mag, came out this week. It’s very funny.

Have you seen the new trailer for Drive Angry? It’s shot in 3D and stars out photographer Tasya van Ree‘s “muse,” Amber Heard.

Bi comic Margaret Cho has made a contribution to the It Gets Better Project.

The Real L Word‘s Nikki and Jill got hitched over the weekend. Speaking of The Real L Word, you can win the Season One DVD or $500 by entering our sweepstakes

Lesbian comedy duo That’s What She Said will be performing a show to benefit The Trevor Project in Los Angeles on Nov. 6.

Janelle Monae has some advice for parents whose kids like to cross-dress: let ’em!

It’s GLBT History month. Go celebrate!

Our Great LezBritain columnists Sarah and Lee are organizing the Lip Service finale party in Glasgow on November 16, with DS Murray aka the hot cop aka Heather Peace performing a short acoustic set. The guest list is tight, but to have a chance of getting yourself on it, and to find out more, follow greatlezbritain on Twitter.

Whether we like it or not, Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club may just be the most lesbian show on television.

This year’s Out Music Awards will honor Melissa Etheridge (Lifetime Achievement Award), Chely Wright (Vanguard Award), and Paula “Sticks” Hampton (The OUTMusic Living Legend Award), among others. The ceremont will take place in NYC on Dec. 1, hosted by comedians Julie Goldman and Jonny McGovern.

Lesbian bloggers and web geeks, listen up! BlogHer wants you to propose a panel idea for their 2011 conference. Get thee to their website!

Glee‘s Dianna Agron has apologized for those racy GQ pics with Lea Michele (and that other guy).

Wanda Sykes will be stopping by The Ellen DeGeneres Show today, so be sure to tune in! Speaking of DeGeneres, she continues to expand her empire! She just signed an exclusive multiyear production deal with Warner Bros., which will allow her production company, A Very Good Production, to “develop and produce scripted network shows for Warner Bros TV, cable fare and reality series for Warner Horizon, and syndicated programming for Telepictures Prods.”

Jane Lynch recently spoke to Access Hollywood about her SNL hosting gig. She raved, “I loved playing the Phyllis Diller-type lady in ‘Secret Word.’ I love everything Kristen Wiig does, so to lock eyes with her in that scene and others was a peak experience.”

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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