When we decided to create the AfterEllen Dog Draft, we thought it’d be a fun way for our readers’ puppies to participate in the hoopla leading up to the biggest sporting event in the world. What we didn’t factor into our decision was the fact that we were only going to be able to choose 50 pooches out of a pool of hundreds of your adorable, lovable, wonderful dogs! It was the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do, and we’ve sat through five seasons of Glee, so we know a thing or two about tough times. Below, you’ll find 50 of the greatest dogs in the all the lands. But don’t stop there: Head on over to our official AfterEllen Dog Draft Facebook page to “awwwww” over all the submissions. Duncan Joseph Hometown: Brooklyn
Haute Dawg Hottie! Diva Duncan would make the ultimate male cheerleader, exuding team spirit realness from the sidelines! Dunkie’s most amazing trait is positivity, proof that we can all overcome adversity. His most sought after skills are encouragement and acceptance. No matter win or loose he will always be there to back up his team! Skye Hometown: Charleston, SC
Skye is a rescue who was hit by a car at seven months old and shattered her hip. Five months later she’s back back in the game and terrorizing the competition, namely her brother Bogey. Position: corner back/defensive tackle. Strengths: interceptions of everything from toys to bones to unattended food of all kinds. Likes to go for the legs on a tackle. Don’t let those baby blues fool you, this girl came to play! Murphy Hometown: Winston-Salem
Position: Bench Warmer. Special Skills: Ability to dominate any couch or comfortable sitting place and make it look more majestic. Uses a special signature move, the paradoxical “old fella/puppy face’ to deter anyone from sitting in his spot. Charlie Bo Hometown: Kansas City
Position Played: Defensive back-he’s excellent at intercepting other dogs’ tennis balls at the dog park. Skills: An amazing vertical leap, making sure no squirrels enter the yard, howling like a beagle, proudly prancing after stealing plastic clothes hangers/toilet paper, and being an absolute angel puff. Hopsy Flopsy Hometown: Atlanta
Strengths: He runs like the demons of hell are at his back. Weaknesses: He can’t catch for shit.
Ellie Hometown: Sydney, Australia
Position: Defense. Special skills: #beingahipster, trying to walk on her hind legs like a person, shedding a shit ton of fur every day, befriending cats and making an A-line for humans and their attention and affection. #cleareyesfullhearts Little OMG!! U guys!! I wanna put my tongue on every single one of u!! Thanks sooo very much for 400 of u! I am happy that I can bring a laugh or joy to even 1 person. I am from a scary kill shelter and never thought I’d see the day when I got an iPhone and made an Instagram! Shout out to ppl who adopt!! Kisses!! Hand holds!!! Licks!! Zara Hometown: Guatemala City
Plays for: Her two mommies. Breed: Beagle. Position Played: She runs really fast… Offense, I guess?! Special Skills: Destroying Toilet Paper. Harri Hometown: Perth, Australia
Breed: Kelpie/Something. Super stealth. Yawn and her tongue will be in your mouth. Also, bow ties. Rita Maybelle Hometown: Nashville, TN
BOOM! FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS SWEET BABY! Most def a wide receiver! She can run faster than a cheetah on steroids, she can jump like MJ, and with super sonic hearing abilities, she is NOT afraid to bark (and bark) to let you know that there is someone coming. What a CHAMPION of LOVE!
Bear Hometown: Malvern, PA
He’d be great at press week. He loves to have his picture taken. Malawi Hometown: Czech Republic
Still a puppy but a master in stealth. She’s self trained to bolt down cat’s food in a second without notice. Evie Hometown: Camberwell
Don’t be fooled by the cute chops. This pup is serious about extreme toy destruction Singer Hometown: Mead
The most handsome Great Dane in all of the land Seaver Hometown: Myrtle Beach
Seaver would be a great corner back, because he likes to take the ball away from other dogs and run in the other direction with it. Special Skills: Licking his opponent to death, winning over the hearts of anyone he meets and waking his mommies up at 4am every night with the sound of his snoring.
Cassie Hometown: Issaquah, WA
Cassie at the dog dark. Cassie has stubby teeth because she used to chew her cage in her previous home: a laboratory in NY where she was used for breeding and where her pups were tested on. Ollivander Hometown: Issaquah, WA
Little walking buddy. He’s learning how to be a good boy on his walks! Antara Hometown: Lima
Strengths: Melting you with her stare. Starting Position: Linebacker. She’s got a mean growl! Cheech Hometown: Rochester
He is definitely a wide receiver, he just likes to run! But man is he opinionated and vocal. Appollo “Chicken Killer” Fuzzybutt Hometown: Boston
Position: Up my ass at all times. Special Skills: being a lousy kisser, drooling over my shoulder while I’m eating dinner, trying to kill our pet geese, and snoring loudly.
Walter Hometown: Dallas
Position Played: Safety. Skills: Destroyer of anything paper (especially tax documents); Can pass gas without a sound Lily Lily comes with her own protective gear. And polar bear disguise! Nellie Hometown: Nashville
Nellie is a retired football player who enjoys standing on the sidelines and calling all the young players pansies. In her day, football was played by real dogs. Tough dogs. Rub some dirt on it, she barks. Riley Roxas Hometown: Tuscon
Position Played: Kicker (gives him plenty of time to sleep in between plays). Special Skills: Headbutting anything that moves and is adept at tripping over own paws at the most inopportune times. Also enjoys snapping at insects. Chico Hometown: Winter Park, TX
What do you mean they’re playing the Super Bowl in New Jersey?
Lucy “the luz” McGillicuddy Johnson Breed: Golden Retriever. Position played: Running Back. Skills: not only can Lucy talk the talk but she can walk the walk. It takes balance and precision to get the job done and Lucy can dodge anything and everything coming her way Baily Breed: Beagle. Position Played: Offensive Guard (stands right by your feet to trip you up). Spicy Salmon Roll (aka Sammie) Hometown: Philadelphia
You won’t hear any whining out of Sammie about having to play in winter weather! Tornado Hometown: Burien
Some days you just need to feel pretty. Ginger Hometown: Trinidad
She’s a mean fetcher. Speed and agility are her skills.
Kaleb Hometown: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Mutt! Running back! Ability to hold down the fort, makes food magically disappear! Abby Hometown: Joplin
This is Abby, a border collie. She’s the smartest dog I’ve ever met. She likes chewing on ropes, tennis balls, and lying down in your spot. She does not like linoleum floors, hummingbirds, or leashes. Tucker Hometown: Mesa
He is a true wonder dog! Spencer Tracy Hometown: New York City
Plays for: Katie and Jen. Breed: Havanese (we think…he was a rescue pup). Position Played: Sock Running Back. Our boy can run and jump with the best of them especially when a sock is in play. Special Skills: 1. Wooing the ladies one Tiffany’s gift at a time; 2. Future Olympic Champion: Spence can take a running jump and completely clear an entire La-Z-Boy sofa; 3. Imelda Marcos of coats and sweaters and will happily walk the runway for you; 4. connoisseur of cheese; 5: Total romantic and all-star cuddler Lucy and Sophie Hometown: Nashville
“Just try and get that ball past us!” My little Georgia peaches adopted from the Humane Society!
Harry Hometown: Sao Paulo
Distracts all defenders with his unbearable handsomeness! Betty Hometown: Pasadena
This is Crazy Betty, a 6-month-old Irish Wolfhound mix who has not yet grown into her paws. She was dumped in Bakersfield, rescued by the Mutt Scouts and adopted by me and my husband Philip. Dolly Hometown: Los Angeles
Will be performing the Halftime Show as Dolly Parton in drag. Kevin Sheldon Hometown: Sonora
Breed: Shih Tzu/Yorkie/Poodle. Skills: the best sock stealer around, #1 at playing catch me if you can, loves humping older lady dogs, drinks beer when no one is watching. Bruno Hometown: Alexandria, VA
Position: Wide receiver. (Not retriever. That ball is his now.). Breed: A little bit of everything. Special Skills: Extreme cuddler, cat psychology, eating cat food, Academy Award-caliber acting whenever Mom leaves.
Nani Hometown: Essex
70 lbs of pure running back. Runs her opponents over! (Literally.) Poppy Hometown: Bayou Vista, TX
I am the cheerleader for the Broncos. I can jump 5 feet in the air and I look like a small horse when I prance around. I only have hair on my head, so if it snows, I will freeze my butt off. Callie Hometown: Toronto
Poodle. Position: Badass Ortho Surgeon. I mean water girl. Skills: being sweet. Stealing socks. Ink She plays for: Ashley Delgado. Breed: Chihuahua-Dachshund Mix, AKA Chiweenie. Position Played: Running Back. Ink is SUPER fast! Special Skills: Jumping, Swimming, Listening, Making Facial Expressions, Socializing. Briley Hometown: Ithica, NY
Kickoff returner, chest-bump enthusiast, and the cuddliest jock around!
Sadence “Sadie” Beyonce Power Breed: Maltese X Poodle. Position: Jammer. Special skills: Getting underfoot, being at the cutting edge of dog fashion, letting things hit her in the head rather than attempting to catch them, running in circles, snuggling, hiding at bath time, stealing treats, perching on furniture like a cat. Zelda Hometown: Atlanta, GA
Position Played: Running Back. Special Skills: Digging holes, chasing moving objects, burrowing like there is no tomorrow, looking adorable in her Baltimore Ravens jersey. Fun Fact: Zelda’s a rescued former puppy mill dog. She’s had a rough life but is getting used to the fine art of being a lapdog. Sprocket Hometown: Nova Scotia
Loves taking people out at the knees, and is a toy hoarder. Spoiled rotten. Indira Hometown: Hartford
Position: Wide Receiver (or at least she tries to receive, she is easily distracted). Special Skills: Going from comatose to Olympic sprinter in 2.5 seconds Jofes Hometown: North Dartmouth
Plays for: Jennifer. Breed: Golden Retriever. Position: Defensive End. Special Skills: Once he gets the ball you will never get it back, seriously, the game will be over, he can use his weight well to keep the ball. Also, the J-Man is very good at the low pitch grumble which would scare opponents if it were at all scary and not so adorable
A huge thank you to everyone who participated! The real winners are all of us who have dogs to love!
