Lesbian Moms, They’re Just Like Straight Ones! (And Possibly Too Tired for Sex)

One of my favorite signs I have ever seen in the window of a store looks something like this:

You can be damn sure we kept our kid close by lest we tempt the espresso and puppy wielding gods.

A study was published in the June issue of Couple and Family Psychology looked at 48 gay male couples who were raising children and found that they were very similar to their straight counterparts.

“When gay couples become parents, they become very focused on the kids, they are tired, there is less time for communication and less desire for sex,” said Colleen Hoff, a professor of sexuality studies at San Francisco State University. “They go through a lot of the same changes as heterosexual couples who have kids.”

Gay folks, they’re just like us! This study is not what I would call groundbreaking. When you think about having kids be sure you have gotten all the sleep and had all the sex you ever want to have because those buggers sap the life from you like some sort of tiny, adorable, dementor.

Finally the folks who don’t like dudes having sex with other dudes have found a way to stop them from having sex — let them raise children. I am waiting for signs like this to start popping up in conservative enclaves around the country.

But wait, where are the lesbians? Isn’t there an epidemic of pregnant lesbians in this country (or is that just on TV)? If the lady loving ladies are raising babies why weren’t they part of the study? Is it possible that the researchers think that lesbians just sit around brushing each other’s hair?

The gay guys get all the good stereotypes: fabulous fashion sense, socially acceptable bitchiness, and promiscuity active sex lives. We get stuck with mullets, flannel shirts, and lesbian bed death. Of course there are many reasons why lesbians weren’t part of the study, many of which are perfectly legitimate but it has to make you wonder if perhaps the researchers have fallen into the trap of thinking of lesbians as asexual beings.

No sex in the romper room.

Photo from Getty

If this is the case I suggest the researchers hop right on down to the nearest video store (if those even exist) and fill their environmentally friendly tote bag with some DVDs featuring lesbians having sex. They could start with The L Word because everyone gets to have lots of sex, even parents, Bette and Tina (although lets be honest, little Angie was A.W.O.L. for most of the episodes, leaving plenty of time for lady loving). If they still aren’t convinced, they could pop in any of the movies from this list.

If these are the kind of researchers who don’t have televisions at home, they can skip over to their local library and check out the likes of Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters or The Last Nude by Ellis Avery.

Finally, if all else fails, just remember that sometimes it’s just time for the big, bad, scary, lesbians to go inside and have sex.

So, are you offended that lesbians were left out of the study or are you happy to that we weren’t part of a study showing how little sex parents have? What other lesbian sex “homework” would assign the skeptical researchers?