“Lost Girl” Recap (3.13): On the road to everlasting wander

Back in the Laboratory of Overcompensation, Lauren demands Taft release all the other Fae, immediately. Honey, you can’t retroactively bargain. Your leverage is gone. Of course Taft’s rational thought is gone, so you’re kind of even. He gives her the sob story of how he came to be the megalomaniac scientist delusions of spliced species grandeur we see today. His little brother was taken by a Fae while they were camping and he was blamed for it and shipped off to a mental asylum. Granted, that’s pretty traumatic. But it’s no reason to go poking your bone into Lauren’s face. Quite literally. Um, ew – on so many levels.

Taft knew all along about Lauren working for the Fae. And of course planned her AWOL adventure so they wouldn’t take her back. Because she is the only one who can help him “ascend” into a higher evolved Fae-human hybrid. Is Faith here? Because the last time some crazy middle-aged white guy went on and on about how triumphant his ascension would be, Faith was his muscle. Oooooh, now I’m thinking about what a Faith/Bo smackdown would look like. Hot, it would look hot.

What Bo is actually doing is acting dumb, really dumb. On purpose, mind you. But her big plan to get into Taft’s compound is to act like lost teeny bopper girls. Tamsin throws in a half-hearted, “Say, do you guys know where the mall is?” Snort. I can just see her at Hot Topic searching for a top that reads “I Laid Waste to Armies and All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt.”

The Morrigan is still torturing Kenzi for info. Well, trying to. It’s a lot of talk – Trick is dead, Dyson is probably dead, Hale has run off. What she really wants is intel on Bo’s lineage. Kenz won’t talk because what could she possibly tell her, like everyone knows she broke up with Lauren, can super suck a crowd and enjoys watching online cat videos. Except for that feeding off multiple chi simultaneously stuff. That’s a news nugget the Morrigan seems to savor. Dammit, Kenz, you couldn’t have said that Bo loves pizza and sometimes pizza guys too instead?

Satisfied with her intel, the Morrigan decides to bug zap Kenzi. But her Taser goes on the fritz inches from her face. She concludes the sanctuary must be warded, but zaps her henchman just in case. He’s all ouchie and kind of adorable. Big man needs a little bandage. But then she storms off telling him to end Kenzi, which is less adorable.

Bo and Tamsin get shuffled into Taft’s office. Please tell me how his genitals are hanging, said no one. Yet, alas, we’re told they’re hanging high and to the left. So there’s that information. He calls them the latest additions to his collection and Bo calls him a mad scientist. But then in walks a sane scientist. Lauren slowly strides in and when Bo rushes to her, she brushes her off. Doccubus fans, hold hands – we’ll get through this.

Lauren says, coldly, you came for Dyson. She says she knew she would. And then it comes. My So-Called Betrayal. Lauren says the Fae have ruined her life. Cursed her girlfriend. Held her prisoner (sometimes literally). This is a chance for her to do something meaningful, “to save my kind.” Bo thinks she must have been brainwashed, we all think she must have been brainwashed. But Lauren says maybe that was their problem all along. Also her name isn’t even Lauren.

Bo looks at her, deeply at her, and says, “Whoever you are, I know you, and I love you.” Whoever she is says back, “And I loved you.”

Oh, I’m sorry, were you expecting me to keep writing this recap? Because it’s kind of hard what with this arrow shot straight through my tender, beating heart.

Still as with any performance, it’s important to know your audience. Who is Lauren performing for? Not Bo. Well, a little for Bo. But mostly for Taft who has been watching closely the whole time. He asks why the change of heart. Lauren says because the Fae will never let her live and that this gives her the shot to take out the one man who has stood in her way this whole time. She tells Bo she can’t save them both, just like she couldn’t love them both. Look, I’ve been Team Lauren from the start, but I don’t want to win by actually taking out Team Dyson.

But, oh, that devil and his details. The most important take away here is that Lauren tells Taft she’ll do the surgery as long as he agrees to let Bo go. Loved my ass.