“Once Upon A Time” recap: As Regal As A Potato (2.20)

In Storybrooke, Regina goes to visit Henry and shows him the secret magic beans she pilfered from his grandparents. She says she doesn’t want to be the Evil Queen anymore, she wants to be the hero. Henry’s ears perk up and his tail starts wagging. His mother explains that the curse has a self-destruct button of sorts. Thanks to her stolen lentils, Regina’s new plan is to kill everyone in Storybrooke except her and Henry.

When this plan is not Henry’s favorite thing, Regina erases his memory and starts over, switching the topic from mass murder to birdhouses.

Not long after Regina leaves Henry, Captain Hook staggers into the Mayor’s office. He tells Regina Tamara and Stranger Greg’s plan and says that he, Regina and Cora should reform their Triangle of Terror. Regina tells him that Cora was killed and he seems genuinely upset about it. Regina shows Hook her beans (not a euphemism) and says that he can be in on her plan. So now Hook is on the Good Ship Get-Out-of-Dodge with her and Henry, but Rumpelstiltskin is decidedly not.

Across town, Emma runs into Tamara at the diner — literally. She was probably not watching where she was going because she was too busy frantically scanning the room for Ruby. Or maybe that was just me. When Emma bends down to help Tamara gather her things, she notices that she has a cheat sheet in 48-point font of everyone’s Storybrooke and Fairytale identities.

Emma takes this moment to relay the importance of keeping Storybrooke a secret, but Tamara assures Emma that she can trust her. From the “I-don’t-believe-you” expression she’s wearing, it seems as though Emma’s lie detector skill actually worked for the first time since she got to Storybrooke.

However, when she relays this new suspicion to her mother, Mary Margaret speaks with the voice of the fandom and says, “Your superpower has been known to be unreliable.” She warns her that this might be coming from a place of dormant jealousy and that she should be careful not to get Henry’s hopes up about her and Neal getting back together. Probably because she’s sure Regina and Emma will work things out soon. Just a hunch.

Of course, since he does nothing but eavesdrop and whine, Henry heard everything and wants to re-kick off Operation Cobra to investigate Tamara.

Back in a village of the Enchanted forest, Peasant Regina is about to get beheaded and calls for Rumpelstiltskin, but before he can get there, she is saved by a cloaked archer — who turns out to be Snow White, back when she was at the height of her badassery.

The next morning, Regina awakens with Snow White by her side, feverish from their night of passion. Or possibly from the flesh wound she suffered. Potato potahto. Anyway, Regina plays the part of Peasant Girl a little better this time and says her name is Wilma and listens as Snow explains to the Potato Queen why she would save a total stranger, all stemming from the time Young Regina saved Little Snow.