A Lifetime of bad movie titles

Entertainment Weekly recently featured an article called Drama Queens, which sang the praises of the Lifetime Movie Network. There are a lot of reasons to love LMN, starting with the very good odds that you’ll come across Nancy McKeon.

And we mustn’t forget Melissa Gilbert, Meredith Baxter and Kate Jackson. Without Lifetime, would they even be able to pay the bills?

I think we’ve all had moments of love for the overwrought, underwritten melodrama that is Lifetime’s stock-in-trade. But for me, it’s all about the movie titles — they’re way better than the actual movies. Here are seven of my faves:

7. Betrayed: A Story of Three Women

6. This Child Is Mine

5. I Do (But I Don’t)

4. Seduction in a Small Town

3. Stranger in My Bed

2. What Kind of Mother Are You?

1. (you knew this was coming) Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?

And here, because I can’t help myself, are my gayed-up versions of those titles:

7. Mulleted: A Story of Three Haircuts

6. This Cat Is Mine

5. I Do (Even Though It’s Only Been Two Weeks)

4. Karaoke in a Small Bar

3. Person I Know Way Too Well in My Bed

2. What Kind of Co-Mother Are You?

1. Mother, May I Sleep With Bette Porter?

Check out LMN.tv and discover the wealth of bad titles — and then post your gayed-up versions in the comments!