“What do lesbians bring on a second date?”
“A Uhaul”
If that joke continued, it might go:
“What do lesbians bring on a third date?”
“A puppy.”
Homosexuals love their pets. If there’s one cultural cliche gays and lesbians can get on board with, it’s the unconditional adoration of a canine friend. Or two. Or three. Recently, I broke down what your cat says about you. Now dogs are getting the same affectionate teasing. While these insights may or may not be based on science (not really, at all), studies have shown that the type of pet you pick indicates a few things about your personality. So go ahead and look into the science, then let me get real with you up in here.
What Your Dog Says About You
You have a napoleon complex and pocket full of poop baggies.
You have a big heart and dirty apartment.
You secretly want to put a bow on everything.
You are a high maintenance serial monogamist.
You just want to be loved. A lot. You want to be loved a lot.
You have a superiority complex and “Gryffindor” paraphernalia.
You have pretentious coffee table books that no one ever reads.
You are too loud at parties.
You fart and blame it on the dog.
You say bitchy stuff then play it off with “JUST KIDDING.” Everyone knows you’re not kidding.
You didn’t have a lot of friends growing up.
You’re actually a Baroque courtesan. You are vain and tidy.
You long for a simpler time.
You have an addictive personality and Scarface on DVD.
You feel the need to defend your choice in dog. You consider yourself “misunderstood.” Like a pit bull.
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