“Carmilla” recap (2.23 & 2.24): How do you like them apples?

You guys, I’m having a lot of feelings. Joy, despair, hope—it’s just a typical day in the life of a pop culture junkie. Carmilla has me all over the board, and that’s exactly the way I like it.

At the apartment, things are stressing Laura out. She’s living with her ex, and two other vampires who go through blood sacks like they’re Capri Suns. It gets downright dangerous sometimes. At least vampires binge watch Netflix, too. The undead! They’re just like the rest of us!

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 9.42.00 AM“Oh Piper, don’t you see Alex is your endgame?”

Laura per usual, tries to be cheery about it. Sure, her Intro to European History class is now Advanced Staking, but with every new president comes a change in curriculum. Right? What this didn’t happen at your college? Well, I guess not all of us went to Sunnydale University. Moving on. Carmilla keeps on banging on the floor, which vexes Laura since she’s trying to keep her ex from becoming a leather clad pile of dust and manage to study for her intense new classes at the same time. She’s interrupted by Danny, still tall, still gay, still smitten. Oh, Danny, looking at you standing there all vulnerable and gingery—well, it plucks at my heart strings. She comes bearing green, shiny apples, which Laura devours. (You have no chill, Laura.)

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 9.51.00 AM“The apples represent my love for you. Sweet, tart, shiny. Also possibly poisoned.”

Since all the “Chaos on Campus,” getting fresh produce was a rarity so Laura is in a special place enjoying her fruit, while Danny tries to not act like she wants to reach over and delicately wipe a bead of juice from Laura’s chin. DANNY! WHY MUST YOU BE SO RELATABLE?! Ugh. Anyway, Danny is kind of a lone wolf right now since the Summers kicked her out and she’s trying to avoid a messy situation with Kirsh. She’s also starting to think that Vordernberg may not be the solution that she originally thought. Also campus security is now a bunch of country bumpkins with torches and pitchforks, who are less that rational when it comes to doling out the terror.

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 9.57.08 AM“Just wait until we screen the new Fantastic Four on the quad. It’ll be a bloodbath.”

I love how Sharon Belle manages to coat Danny’s pitter-pattering heart with sardonic charm. Yeah, we know that this show is about Carmilla and Laura, but damn it all if Belle doesn’t make you a double shipper. Love triangles are as old as time, and it feels natural the way that Danny’s feelings for Laura have rekindled now that she’s not with Carm. Come on, if you were Danny, wouldn’t you take that leap? For all the monsters and fish gods, Carmilla succeeds best when it deals with the way people feel about each other. Plus, Laura is a sucker for a hero, and Danny knows that. 

Screen Shot 2015-08-21 at 10.01.01 AMhearteyes.

Just when things get a little too real between Laura and Danny, Carmilla bangs on the floor. I mean who wants to witness the women you love be courted by someone else? I feel you, Carm. Carm gets a little help from LaFontaine who LaCrotchBlocks anything else from happening.