“Carmilla” recap (2.25 & 2.26): Take another little piece of my heart

When we last saw the Scooby gang, I was worried that J.P. was about to cause great bodily harm to LaFontaine for denying him his bloodbag. Luckily, LaF is not worse for wear other than a few hairs out of place. As J.P. apologizes profusely, Carmilla reminds the crew that when vampires are hungry, they can do some nasty things. Laura wants info and rather than deal with this starvation interrogation, Carmilla tells Mattie to spill it. Of course, Mattie isn’t thrilled about this. She sticks by her story that she doesn’t know what Vordenberg is up to, and that throughout history, well the whole family was sort of filled with dummies. 

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 8.34.27 AM“Ugh, and you should have seen their holiday parties. I mean, Egg Nog from a carton?! What are they, savages?

Mattie also doesn’t really know what’s up with the Corvae Corp either. She simply received orders after their mother’s death to arrive on campus and take care of business. What she does know is Corvae is hugely powerful and everywhere. (They are kind of like the Apple of the underworld.) Laura suggests that perhaps Vordernberg has also made a deal with Corvae, but Mattie doubts it. Neither the fish god or the soul destroying sword are things her can use, so why bother? Mattie does rattle off a bunch of nasty things that can be concocted from the blood of the fish god, with glee, mind you.

But if Vordernberg did somehow have the means, it could be bad news for everyone. Mattie reminds Laura that they are in this situation because of her need to put Vordenberg in charge which was revealed to be a terrible idea after about two seconds in power. That’s a record! Mattie does have a plan and she’ll need Carmilla’s help to obtain a powerful weapon, though she’s not about to share that with Captain Webcam. She also schools the Scoobies on their powerlessness.

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 8.47.44 AM“Before you met me you were nothing. You were a Brownie, you were a Bluebird, you were a Girl Scout Cookie.”

After saying her peace, Mattie gathers Carmilla and they head under the floorboards to talk privately. You know who else is talking privately? Danny and Laura. Laura tells Danny that she needs to tell her something, and for a split second, there’s a flash of hope in Danny’s eyes. But, of course, we know it’s going to be about Mattie’s jerky heart locket. Danny stops Laura before she can say anything else, and reminds her to turn off the camera. Oh, so wait—was the camera on when Carmilla told her about the locket? Does anyone with access to Laura’s webcast know? I’m so confused! All I know is the look on Laura’s face says, “Oops, I may have fuuuuucked up.”

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 8.54.48 AM“And this is what you find when you search Hollence on Tumblr.”

Big Brother, I mean, Vordenberg is making campus-wide announcements in the middle of the night like a real dick, as Mattie and Carmilla rise from the floorboards. Mattie has a dangerous plan in mind but Carmilla is still on the fence. Carmilla is worried that if they go ahead with this plan that she might lose the very thing that makes her Carmilla—her humanity. Mattie reminds her that they are both very different from the girls they once were, and the humanity ship sailed long ago. Perhaps this is their truest form. They are surprised when Laura, who is sleeping on the couch, wakes up, even though they were using their outside voices.

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 9.05.31 AMDAMN, YOU ARE SUCH A LIGHT SLEEPER!

Laura puts the kibosh on the Vordermurdering plans, and Mattie is getting real tired of having a college student tell her what to do. When Laura reminds Mattie that she didn’t kill her and Mattie laughs it off, Laura almost slips on the secret Carmilla told her. Mattie finds Laura’s ideals irritating and entitled. Mattie tells her, this isn’t a cheerocracy, it’s the Hunger Games—kill or be killed and all that.

Laura haz had it! She gets up and reminds everyone why she is who she is. Because she doesn’t give up. She doesn’t bend and break when the pressure gets to much. She’s a kitten in chain mail, yo. Mattie tells Laura that she isn’t the special snowflake that she thinks she is, that others have come before her with their trembling bravery and hot pants for Carmilla. The fact that Carmilla saved her is the only difference.

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 9.17.29 AM“Look at you two and your matching camis. Are you going to wear them to the Tegan and Sara concert together?”

While Mattie thinks she’s putting Laura in her place, what’s she’s actually doing is help rebuild the bonds between Carmilla and Laura. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what matters, and Laura still matters to Carmilla. So, Carmilla refuses to go with Mattie and be a part of her scheme. She chooses Laura, again. Mattie leaves without her sister, and Carmilla confesses to Laura what the plan was. Drinking the fish god’s blood, and possibly going mad, or gaining super duper powers. It could go either way. Laura is pissed/turned on.

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 9.21.47 AM“God, I want to make out with your face so hard right now.”

After hearing about how epicly bad this could go, Laura gathers the Scoobies to try and stop Mattie. As everyone disperses, Perry stops Danny for a little chat. She has reservations about the plan, and Danny reminds her that Laura is just being Laura AND SHE WOULD FOLLOW HER INTO HELL. Perry does her best to plant a seed of doubt in Danny’s head, and suggests that Laura could possibly meet her demise is just the ticket. Perry proceeds to manipulate the hell out of Danny, using her affection for Laura to turn the tide.

Well, well, well, Perry. There have been theories floating around all season that Perry is actually a baddie, possibly possessed, but definitely a baddie. I’m inclined to believe it. Remember when Mattie recognized something in Perry when they first met? Maybe it was her mother that she saw in Perry’s eyes. Perry is very keen on getting rid of Mattie, too. It’s all starting to add up and it’s not looking good.

Screen Shot 2015-08-28 at 9.29.22 AM“Does this blazer make me look sketch? I got it on sale at Banana Republic.”

What do you think? Is Perry up to something? Are you secretly kind of rooting for Mattie? Will poor Danny ever stop being manipulated this season?


(Damn Carmilla, that is some depressing shit right there.)