Every so often, in this world full of noise, something comes through and cuts right through the din. You don’t have to be mighty to do so, but you must have a tremendous amount of heart. I’ve made no bones about my affinity and affection for Carmilla. Like many of you, I’ve loved it from the moment I saw it and I’ve been lucky enough to chronicle its rise. I’m so proud of what it’s become that my chest gets a little tight just thinking about it. And what it has become is something alive. It sighs and laughs, it cries and allows us to feel its heart beat. It invites us in.
The greatest gift art can give to us, is to make us feel. Carmilla does that beautifully. Those five or six minutes can pack a punch, or feel as gentle as a kiss. Sometimes both. I feel bruised and redeemed, haunted and delighted by Carmilla, and that is exactly the way I want to feel.
This week was a game changer for Carmilla. It introduced elements so weighty, that it feels miles away from its lighter, more fanciful early days. Murder, betrayal, revenge, why it’s positively Shakespearian. Laura, Carmilla and the gang stand of the precipice of something bigger than we could have imagined. In other words, shit got real.
When we last saw the gang, a traumatized Danny had betrayed Laura by revealing Mattie’s location. Mattie had a confrontation with Perry, who is most definitely possessed, and probably super evil. Vorderberg marched in and declared victory, as Mattie was dripping in blood and looking at a major frame job. This week, bad ol’ Vordy starts gloating and bragging and Mattie tells him to shut his German Chocolate cake hole. It’s bad enough that she’s screwed, she certainly doesn’t have the patience to listen to him prattle on. Vordenberg admits that he embellishes the truth, but lies are so much more interesting. One day he’ll be remembered for real, you know, after he kills himself a god.
Of course, Danny is horrified that Vordernberg lied to her, but thems the breaks, Red. She also betrayed Laura by revealing Carmilla and Mattie’s location, and no amount of wrongs can make any of this right again. Kirsh and LaFontaine hear something that the others can’t, and Lophi speaks through them as Vordernberg’s soldiers descend upon it.
Lophi barks out a warning, that if it dies, the gate (you know the one that ushers in the endtimes) will open. And with one bellowing scream, Lophi meets its demise. Kirsh and LaF pass out, but there are no lakes of fire or hell beasts knocking down the door yet, so everyone takes a breath. Vordy is like, lets not cry over spoiled fishsticks, ok? Danny, letting her guilt turn to anger, lashes out at Mattie for killing her Summers sisters and possibly Perry. Mattie is over the accusations because if she actually did slaughter a bunch of people, she’d be shouting it from the rooftops. It’s kind of her thing, slaughtering.
As Vordernberg bloviates, Mattie starts to laugh her sultry, perfect laugh. She now recalls what happened the night before and she’s got a belly full of god blood and a bone to pick. She is mad as hell and she’s not going to take it anymore. After she threatens to paint the town red in the worst possible way, she reaches for Vordenberg. Danny intercepts the attack as Vordernberg runs away. Listen Danny, you are a tall drink of awesome, but you are no match for a centuries old vampire. Mattie grabs Danny and starts to give her a medieval chiropractic smackdown.
Just as Mattie is about to snap Danny’s spine, Danny remembers what Laura told her about Mattie’s weakness. She grabs Mattie’s locket, rips it off and smashes it on the ground. Carmilla cries out and with that, our hearts are smashed, too. With this one decision, Danny changes everything.
The next episode opens with a look back on a lighter moment, back when Laura and Mattie were doing the SNN sequence together. Mattie smiles her million kilowatt smile, and knowing what is to come just makes it hurt like a bitch.
Mattie, for all her murderous tendencies, has a heart. She may not like that Carmilla is in love with Laura, but she respects it. The world is painted in many shades of grey, which is something that Laura has yet to grasp. Give her a few hundred years. Laura is still at this point, terribly upset that Carmilla killed Vordenberg’s family. Mattie shatters Laura’s perception of what happened however by explaining that the original Vordenberg actually dug up Carmilla’s corpse, and very likely sexually assaulted her before she took her revenge. That is seriously deeply dark and terrible, and yet the moment passes by so quickly, it almost doesn’t allow you to feel the weight of that horror before moving on. But we do feel it, as does Laura. Laura is horrified and Carmilla is obviously uncomfortable but brushes it off in her Carmilla way. The sisters tease each other for a bit and we see a playful Mattie, whose connection to her sister Carmilla is so much more than a shared bloodlust and maker. Even Laura can see it. It’s love.
Flash forward to Mattie dying in Carmilla’s arms. Carmilla wants to fix things, but by telling Laura about the locket, she sealed her sister’s fate. She knows it, and Mattie knows it. Yet somehow, Mattie doesn’t hold it against her. What a gift to give her sister. Mattie once again declares her innocence, and warns Carmilla that their mother’s plans are still in play. And just as quickly as she came in, Mattie is gone.
Hell hath no fury as a lesbian vampire scorned, and Carmilla sets her sights on Danny. Carmilla promises to end her in the most awful, violent way possible, and tells Danny to take a head start. Danny would never run though, and she tells Carmilla to come and kill her then and there. Remember when the worst thing that could happen on this show was running out of cookies? That was then, and this is now.
Laura and her goddamn giraffe shirt of despair steps in between Danny and a raging Carmilla. Carmilla warns Laura to get out of the way, but Laura confesses to telling Danny how to kill Mattie. This is of course, something that Carmilla already knows, but how can she possibly process this seismic betrayal? It is simply too much to bear.
Carmilla grabs Laura by the hair, and whatever love, whatever lingering connection between these two snaps. (Natasha Negovanlis absolutely slays this scene, the pain and betrayal palpable in her voice and body. She welcomes you into Carmilla’s spiral, and it’s a real thing of beauty.) She reminds Laura of all the years that she and Mattie spent by each other’s sides. The things they’ve seen, the lives they’ve lived. That all ends today. Carmilla realizes she gave it all up for Laura, for a love that let her down so completely. What makes this all so unbearable is that Carmilla gave Laura the tools to dismantle her heart, just deep down inside, Carmilla never thought Laura would actually use them.
Carmilla bitterly mocks the situation she’s now in, and the woman she’s risked everything for. “Be good for me, Carmilla. Change for me, Carmilla. Burn down everything you’ve ever loved for me, Carmilla.” I don’t think until this moment, that Laura truly grasped what sacrifices Carmilla has made to bend herself into the person Laura needed her to be. Laura, in her endless campaign to save Silas (and clear her own conscience), damned the person who would have stood between her and the gates of hell. Sure, Danny is brave, but only Carmilla could laugh in the face of death.
Laura cries back that she didn’t ask Carmilla for this, but didn’t she? No, she didn’t want to see her love broken beyond recognition, and I doubt she takes any joy in Mattie’s demise, but Laura orchestrated this in a way. This doesn’t mean Laura is a bad person, or that her heart wasn’t in the right place. She wanted to bring peace to campus, but she put her trust in the wrong people and let hubris and judgment blind her.
Laura reaches out for Carmilla but they might as well be a million miles apart. Carmilla threatens to kill anyone who comes near her, including Laura. She runs out of the house, leaving nothing but wreckage behind.
Are you alright out there? Still with me? Hope to never see a giraffe again? There are only six episodes left this season, and a lot can happen. Just hold tight, and we’ll get through it together. I also want to take a moment to say what a true delight Sophia Walker has been as Mattie this season. She has played this role with such grace and skill, that it was impossible not to root for her. She’s the kind of actor who makes everyone around her rise to the occasion and that’s exactly what has happened. This cast of young actors has grown tremendously since Carmilla debuted, and I have no doubt that we will be seeing their faces for years to come.
Okay, spill your feels in the comments, Creampuffs.
