How to Be a Gay Lady – Manners for the Modern Lesbian: Lesson Fourteen

1. Keep tabs on her at all times. Regardless of whether this is a short-term or a long-term situation, be sure to fit your lady with a good quality electronic tracking device prior to the event of your separation. That way, no matter where she goes you can follow her every movement via the latest technology satellite imaging. Lesbian Stalkers & Co. sell a great model that will sound an alarm if she’s not looking both ways before crossing the street or if a lady-who’s-not-you is eyeing her inappropriately. This device comes set in a range of elegant designs (the wrist cuff in leather or the equally classic gigantically gaymo thumb ring) which will seamlessly complement any and every outfit your lady wears.