How do you tell your girlfriend you hate her cat tree?

How do you tell your girlfriend that you don’t like her cat tree?

Your girlfriend is amazing. She is handsome and kind. She makes you laugh so hard and she’s super hot. You’ve been dating for a lifetime in lesbian years and you’ve decided to move in together. It’s going to be great to always have her around and you both are being flexible about which furniture to keep. You have similar tastes in home decor so this should be a simple process.

But then you remember her cat tree. That damn cat tree. She has two cats that you ADORE but do they need that 5 foot tall by 3 feet wide cat tree? It’s made of what appears to be old shag carpet and twine. Why does this exist? Your girlfriend has fantastic taste (she picked you!) so what is going on here?

So your options are to:

  1. Just come out and tell her you hate it.

Pros: You get to say out loud that you hate it.

Cons: You love your girlfriend and her cats who are quite fond of their weird carpet high rise. Do you want to hurt kitty feelings?

2) Casually send her emails with Amazon links of a new cat house you’re planning to get them for their birthday. “Wow. Bet Jello would love this upgrade. Then we wouldn’t have to move the old one. Lol, amirite??”

Pros: Maybe she will go for it without you having to say that you hate something that’s hers.

Cons: She will probably respond that she doesn’t need one because she already has the biggest cat tree that has ever existed and it’s clearly 50 years old and no longer in production (because it’s ugly) anymore so she needs that one forever and you’re marrying this cat tree with her. This is a lifelong commitment to shag carpet and twine.

3) If you’re a DIY dyke, you can build her a new one. Make it out of a beautiful cut of wood. Don’t cover it in shag carpeting. Make the cats a few kitty hammocks for the windows while you’re at it. You can love them without loving their weird unnecessarily large house.

Pros: You get to build something with your girlfriend in mind.

Cons: She may think this is great but in addition to their weird ugly kitty house.

By now, you may have realized that you’re being quite silly. You get the girl, you get the cats, and you can probably just stop using your peripheral vision so that you don’t have to see the cat house.