Lesbianing With AE: What To Do About Vaginal Dryness


For the last couple of months, I’ve been super dry when having sex even though I feel turned on. This has never been a problem for me before, so the first time it happened I didn’t really think anything of it. I just assumed it was a fluke. Obviously I can go get some lube, but is there anything else I should be doing? I don’t want my girlfriend to think I’m not turned on by having sex with her, because I totally am.


Dear Dry,

Vaginal dryness is a common problem that can occur at any age, even though it’s typically thought of as happening near menopause.

If you have low levels of estrogen, your vagina will be drier. Your doc can do a hormone check, and discuss solutions if it turns out you do have low estrogen.

Smokers tend to have lower estrogen (and also go through menopause earlier). Not to lecture, but quitting smoking will help your hormones balance out, and decrease the negative health consequences associated with smoking.

Prescription meds are a factor for some women. While it might not surprise you to know antidepressants cause dryness (and they can be a libido killer), did you know asthma meds could be to blame for your unfortunate lack of wetness?

While you’re troubleshooting, try to be extra kind to your snatch. Nix the perfumed lotions or body washes, wash your panties in unscented detergent, stop using those godawful scented laundry boost products (you’re killing the environment and a little bit of my soul), and don’t douche (which you shouldn’t be doing anyway). Drink plenty of water (dehydration can affect your nether regions).

Some people have sensitive vaginas, and yours could be reacting to a change in product or routine by being dry.

Lastly, relax. If you are super stressed about something, you’re going to be less interested in having sex and less wet when you do get it on. Banishing stress and anxiety will help you feel better and become more interested in sex. Likewise, if you’re constantly checking in with your vag during sex, you aren’t letting yourself enjoy the experience. You could be making the problem worse by focusing on the issue.

Maybe try touching your girlfriend without letting her touch you (hell, tie her up if you want) and see whether this helps you chill out and get wet again.

If you haven’t mentioned the matter to your girlfriend, maybe bring it up. It never hurts to reassure her how amazingly hot and/or good in bed you think she is, and breaking the silence around it could help your problem magically disappear.

Good luck!