“Scene” is AfterEllen.com’s monthly (usually) series of articles focusing on the lesbian happenings in a town near you. For previous installments, go here.
When most people think of Dallas, they think of art, culture and a thriving gay community, right? Oh, am I the only one? Well, hold on to your cowboy hats, ’cause there’s more to Dallas than meets the eye.
I know, it’s hard to believe that there would be anything interesting for us lesbians to do smack dab in the middle of Bush country (uh … by that I do mean George W.). To be honest, at first I was a little skeptical myself. I took on this article wondering how I would ever have enough to write about, but in the end I had to restrain myself from flat-out gushing about all that the city has to offer.
“It’s true, our secret is out,” said Phillip Jones, president of the Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau. “Dallas is proud to support a vibrant gay community, making LGBT travelers comfortable when they visit this progressive city. From our friendly residents to the numerous LGBT events held year-round, Dallas has style and charm unlike any other city.”
After spending November checking out the Dallas scene, I’ve learned some important lessons. First, “style and charm” is really just a euphemism for “lots of cute gay girls.” Second, never judge a book by its cover, and never judge a gay bar until the dancers have removed an article of clothing.
Last, but not least, being out in Dallas is not for the faint of heart. It means many sleepless nights, consuming unhealthy levels of alcohol, and a dangerous amount of really bad dancing. OK, that last one might just be my personal experience, but it was fun all the same.
Scene 1: Out Takes Dallas, Day 2
Nov. 3, 2007
The first stop on my tour of Dallas’ lesbian scene was the second day of Out Takes Dallas; this year the gay and lesbian film festival celebrated its ninth year. I spent all Saturday camped out in Dallas’ West Village at one of the city’s best independent movie houses, the Magnolia Theater, watching all there was to offer in queer cinema.
In the lobby, paintings and photos by local artists were on display as part of the festival’s silent auction. As I was checking out the artwork (and a cute brunette across the room), I heard a couple of men ask what time the theater’s bar started serving drinks. Apparently they couldn’t get through the movie without their highballs and cocktails (puns intended). Could you believe the Magnolia expects its patrons to wait until after 2 p.m. to start drinking?
As the first two movies screened, though, I sympathized with the men. First up was The Believers, a documentary about the first transsexual gospel choir, the Transcendents. An interesting subject, but the armchair interviews and tear-filled embraces had me pinching myself to stay awake. (Side note: I must be alone in this opinion, as the film won Best Documentary at the festival.)
And Tick Tock Lullaby is a sperm-filled frolic into the trials of three couples attempting to get pregnant. If you ever want to see an entire theater cringe in unison, put this on for a bunch of lesbians and wait for the sex scenes. The films left me so bored and tired that I headed to the concession stand hoping that a self-induced sugar shock would revive me.
But after that the day finally began to pick up with a collection of six short films in a program dubbed Lesbian Life Stories. These funny shorts delivered important life lessons such as: If you kiss a frog you might find Princess Charming (A Fairy Tale); Flowers at the Park reveals that women are neurotic (shocker!); and according to Boxed In, “No honest person makes a living by writing.” Hmm … duly noted. The best was Members Only, in which a girl fills out an application for her gay card; it comes with gaydar activation and a complimentary cat!
Though the shorts were great, as any dedicated film fest-goer knows, the best parts of any decent film festival are the parties.
At the women’s mixer, held at Republic, a small lounge just a few blocks from the theater, the outdoor patio was overflowing with groups of women drinking, chatting and posing for pictures. By the time I got there, I had some serious catching up to do, so I grabbed a drink and made my way around the room.
Time flies when you’re scoping out chicks working for AfterEllen.com, and before I knew it, it was time to head back to the Magnolia for the centerpiece film, The Gymnast.
Three words: Gay. Female. Gymnasts. Do you really need more than that? A retired gymnast stuck in a loveless marriage begins taking classes with a beautiful dancer (Addie Yungmee), and plenty of high-wire acrobatics are included. This film’s such a crowd-pleaser that there were people salsa dancing in line to get in and shouting at the screen during the show. We were all disappointed when the star, Dreya Weber, had to reschedule her appearance.
Afterward, I skipped the titillatingly titled midnight movie, Gay B&B of Terror (for some reason I got the clue that there were no lesbians involved), and headed to Sue Ellen’s for the after-party.
Located in Oak Lawn, Dallas’ trendy gay neighborhood, Sue Ellen’s is the one girl bar in an entire block of gay clubs. Inside there are pool tables, air hockey and a dance floor that was completely packed with scantily clad girls.
But most of the festival crowd was hanging around outside listening to singer Anton Shaw finish up her set. We all sat there, singing along to the music, as the night crept into morning and the second day of the festival drew to a close.
Scene 2: Out Takes Dallas, Day 9
Nov. 10, 2007
One week later, I headed back to Out Takes for another day of Sapphic screen spectaculars. And what a day it was. I started out watching Kate Clinton and ended up having drinks with the gymnast. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.
Looking around the theater during the screening of Kate Clinton: 25th Anniversary Tour, I could tell there were a lot of people skipping out early that day. Big mistake. Kate Clinton is always funny, but the special includes some unique extras like an interview with Kate and her partner, Urvashi Vaid, and best wishes from village elders such as Billie Jean King, Melissa Etheridge and Lily Tomlin (who actually sings her congratulations while dancing around a studio back lot).
As if that wasn’t enough, producer Andrea Meyerson was at the screening, and she hung around afterward to do a little Q&A with the audience. Andrea also produced the Laughing Matters comedy documentaries, and she gave us the low-down on some of her upcoming projects. Be on the lookout for a new stand-up special featuring transgender comics in the near future.
Possibly the best thing about living in Dallas is that even in the middle of November, it’s still warm enough to eat lunch outside. So during a break, I walked around the corner to Tom Tom Asian Grill, which has a wide selection of Asian cuisine, hot sake and outdoor seating perfect for people watching (especially when there’s a bunch of cute gay girls hanging out in between movies).
Afterward, in the theater lobby I found a throng of over-excited women waiting to see Itty Bitty Titty Committee. The line stretched down the stairs, around the corner and finally disappeared into what I can only imagine must be a secret dungeon in the basement of the theater. OK, maybe not, but it was a really long line.
Ushers kept coming around trying to herd us into some kind of orderly arrangement, but getting dozens of lesbians to stand calmly in line is as impossible as getting Daniela Sea to show range or emotional depth. They finally just gave up and began seating us. Of course, the movie was wonderful. With a title like that, how could it not be?
After getting us all riled up with itty bitty titties, they sent us on down the road to the after-party. Rush had a rainbow flag over the door, a balcony upstairs and toned waiters wearing nothing but skimpy briefs. How could it be any better? Oh I know, throw in a movie star.
When Dreya Weber, star of The Gymnast arrived, I couldn’t actually see her for the first hour she was there; I could only see the huddle of fans completely surrounding her. I waited impatiently for my chance with her and, as it turns out, it was well worth the wait.
We chatted about making the movie, and my jaw dropped when I found out all the death-defying stunts were done entirely by the two stars themselves – sans stunt doubles! After hearing that, I developed a new level of respect for her … OK, and a little bit of a crush. But before I could profess my love, her adoring fans elbowed their way in and pushed me out of the way.
Ah well, we could have had something. Instead, I retreated to the balcony and enjoyed a cold beer and the warm Texas night.
Scene 3: “Barely Legal Girls”
Buddies II
Nov. 16, 2007
With a show titled “Barely Legal Girls,” I guess I really should have been more prepared for the night to get a little crazy, but when I walked into Buddies II in Oak Lawn, I had no idea what to expect. I took a friend along with me, telling her that at least the girls were barely legal, not almost legal.
Self-described as the lesbian bar where everybody knows your name, it was clear to me as soon as I walked in why that would be the case: because you’re the only customer there!
OK, there were six other women at the far end of the club. A few were huddled around a table, and one couple was on the dance floor two-stepping to country music. The setup of the place itself seemed pretty bare as well, just a bar area when you first walk in, a sunken-in dance area, a curtain hanging in one corner and another bar in the back.
I started to wonder whether Buddies II had gone around to other clubs taking pictures and posting them on their website to deceive unwitting victims.
Determined to at least stay for the show, we plopped ourselves down at a table opposite the curtain. Then a curious thing happened. As the time for the show grew closer, women began to trickle in until the place was mostly packed. And right before the show was scheduled to begin, I spotted three girls walking behind the curtain with garment bags slung over their shoulders and a drag queen wandering around dressed as Tina Turner. At that point, I can honestly say I was intrigued.
The manager introduced the “Barely Legal Girls,” and the music began to play. The best way I can describe what followed is that it was a strip show without any stripping.
Brie, one of the barely legal girls, came out from behind the curtain dressed in thigh-high leather boots, fishnet stockings, a black leather bra and the shortest Catholic schoolgirl skirt I have ever seen. She danced around the club giving lap dances and collecting one-dollar bills in her brassiere. At one point she did whip off her belt, but alas, that was as far as it went. Then the two other two girls, Linda and Gina, each performed similar routines.
In the middle of the “Barely Legal Show,” Tina Turner came onto the stage and performed a selection of her greatest hits, including “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” which has been stuck in my head ever since. The entire crowd was transfixed for the full hour that the show lasted, but as soon as it finished, the place started to clear out again.
Throughout the night, I’d seen girls walking in and out of a door in the back, so I decided to check it out. In the yard behind the main building, there was a small swimming pool and a sand volleyball court. There was also a door leading into a second building that contained pool tables, a dartboard, and other arcade games. Turns out the best part of the bar is hidden in the back.
All in all, I’d say that Buddies II is definitely a diamond in the rough. Or at least, it’s a diamond-studded leather bustier in the rough. Either way, I had a good time.
Before we left, we headed back to the dance floor and busted out some mad dance moves. Don’t worry, no one was injured.
Scene 4: Black Tie Dinner
Adam’s Mark Hotel
Nov. 17, 2007
The Adam’s Mark Hotel in downtown Dallas is the epitome of luxury, and on Nov. 17th, it was packed to the brim with the who’s who of Dallas’ upper crust, all dressed to the nines for the Black Tie Dinner. An annual charity event to raise money for HRC and local LGBT organizations, the dinner truly does work miracles – it forces hundreds of lesbians to put on formal dresses and heels for one night every year. Don’t worry, tuxedoes are perfectly acceptable as well.
At the VIP reception, Dallas’ A-list lined up behind a velvet rope to be photographed with the keynote speaker, Martin Sheen. I got a chance to speak with him for a few minutes and asked him why he was interested in speaking at the dinner. “Well,” he said, “I was working on Bobby last year with Sharon Stone. She came here and took off her shoes and she said she wouldn’t talk to me again until I did it.”
Yeah, it didn’t make sense to me either, but it definitely sounds like something Sharon Stone would do, so I didn’t really question it. Later I discovered that she had auctioned off her own shoes onstage, and Sheen planned on doing the same with his cufflinks that night. When I asked about his landmark role as an openly gay man in 1972’s made-for-TV movie, That Certain Summer, he spoke candidly about the backlash against the film.
The theme of the evening was “All You Need Is Love,” so Beatles tribute band Me and My Monkey performed during dinner. Afterward, Dallas mayor Tom Leppert spoke about the city’s diversity. HRC president Joe Solmonese described some of the projects the money raised tonight would help fund. And Iraq war veteran Eric Alva received a special award – as the first American soldier wounded in Operation Iraqi Freedom and an openly gay man, Alva has been traveling around the country denouncing the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.
All this was the backdrop to a delicious three-course dinner (I had the vegetarian option). Five bottles of wine for a table of 10 might seem a bit excessive, but it worked out perfectly for us.
During a break before the live auction, I decided to walk around the lobby and check out the silent auction. It looked like a scene from Antiques Road Show. Anything you can imagine was there being auctioned off: a BMW, original artwork, children’s clothing, grand pianos, wine tastings, Victorian beds, doggie treats, Vespas, movie and TV memorabilia (including an L Word poster signed by Leisha Hailey and Katherine Moennig), and so much more.
Overwhelmed by the options – and thinking that nothing could top what I’d already seen – I walked back in to the ball room to find people embroiled in bidding wars for Atlantic cruises, luxury stays in New York and dinners catered by top chefs. Ah, to be filthy rich and charitable.
When Sheen finally came onstage, he managed to auction off not only his cufflinks, but a cowboy hat and the speech he’d typed out for the event (the speech alone went for $4,000).
As the dinner started to wind down, there was talk of after-parties … and there were several to choose from. The official after-party had free drinks, a dance floor and Me and My Monkey playing onstage, yet it was surprisingly boring. So, I decided to try party no. 2.
Despite the fact that it was located in just a regular hotel room, there was a bar at one end, male strippers dancing on chairs throughout the room, and about 300 people in between. I left before I reached the far end of the room. (There’s no telling what I might have found there.)
Party no. 3 had a smaller dance floor and a DJ, so, spurred on by all the free alcohol, I stayed there the rest of the night and boogied down.
Scene 5: Sarah Jaffe Onstage
Opening Bell Coffee
Nov. 24, 2007
Although the temperature in Dallas had dropped to unbearable levels (about 30 degrees) on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I still ventured out in the cold, damp city to listen to Sarah Jaffe.
Located in the historic Sears-Roebuck building, Opening Bell Coffee definitely creates the feeling of walking into a renovated warehouse (you even have to go through a garage door to enter the café). There are exposed pipes running across the ceiling, large cement pillars throughout the room and, oddly enough, an unattached metal door leaning up against one of the pillars.
Though it tries to cater to stock traders and other professionals by placing copies of the Wall Street Journal around the room, the CD listening booth and the small stage gives it away for what it really is: a hangout for hipsters. And on Saturday night, there wasn’t a single business suit in the place.
Sarah Jaffe has a new record coming out early next year and will start touring nationally then as well, but in the meantime, she’s just been rocking around Texas playing smaller venues. Judging by the crowd she brought in at Opening Bell, she’s definitely developed a following around here – Texas is happy to have her.
I arrived at the cafe about an hour before Jaffe was scheduled to perform, so I grabbed a latte and a good view of the stage while the band playing before her finished their set. There was a definite change in the crowd as the other band finished and we waited for Jaffe to come onstage.
Don’t get me wrong – there were still plenty of hipsters in the place, but now there were also quite a few girls pulling wallets out of their back pockets to pay for their coffee, if you know what I mean. And by the time Jaffe began her first song, it was standing room only in the back corner.
Jaffe describes her sound as folk-influenced with a little bit of ambience mixed in, which was perfect for the setting. She sang and played acoustic guitar for nearly an hour, accompanied by Chris Youman on the cello and Jonathan Clark on the melodica (a small keyboard with a mouthpiece attached to it that sounds something like an accordion).
She gave a powerful performance, and the crowd was transfixed. At the end of her set, she lightened the mood somewhat when she told us she was going to serenade us all on this gloomy day. Then she started to croon a somber rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.”
Afterward, I waited in line behind fan after fan, all buying her CD and complimenting her performance. When I finally got a second with her, Jaffe told me how excited she is for the new record tour and how much she’s enjoying her solo career. (She may have also mentioned that she’s an AfterEllen.com reader.) So I bought the last CD left and headed back out into the treacherous night.
After a month out and about in Dallas, I was exhausted and hung over impressed at all there is to do in the city. There really is everything you could want. With a plethora of great gay bars and monthly activities like Gay Bingo and gay square dancing, how could you ever get bored?
So now that this assignment is over, I might take a day or two to recover, but I’ll be right back out there before you can say “Dukes of Dallas drag show.” And I think you should congratulate me for making it all the way through this article without a single Debbie Does Dallas joke.
For more on gay life in Dallas, visit GLBTDallas.com.
