Archive

Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (September 12, 2008)

GAY MARRIAGE: EVERYBODY’S DOING IT Lindsay Lohan graces the cover of Marie Claire‘s October issue, which includes a lengthy interview with the actress, and a new photo shoot.

When asked about her relationship with Samantha Ronson (see our May 30 BLWE for a few of the couple’s many intimate moments caught on film over the last year), Lohan tells the magazine, “Um, people can think what they want. I’m really happy, and that’s all that matters.” But she elaborates on Ronson (and their matching tattoos) in the interview, while discusses her own personal and career comeback:

“[Samantha’s] a great person,” Lohan says. “And she’s a great influence on people around her. But I think that anything that’s changed in my life is because of me. I’ve gone through it and I’ve had to deal with it and I’ve made the decision to move forward. So, yeah, she’s a great person,” Lohan concludes of Ronson, who’ll come loping across the parking lot to the trailer later on wearing her signature porkpie hat, plus a T-shirt, jeans, and cinder-block-size red trainers, emphatically unlaced.
Earlier this week, British tabloid The Sun reported that DJ Ronson stopped mixing at the Los Angeles nightclub Chateau Marmont on Tuesday to announce, “By the end of this year, my love will be Mrs. Ronson.” This report, bolstered by the diamond ring Lohan sported on her engagement finger at a recent event with Ronson, has set off a flurry of rumors that Samantha and Lindsay are engaged.

Which brings me to one of my favorite games – Fun with Headlines, the Lindsay Lohan Engagement edition.

Here’s how the various online blogs, tabloids and news sites are covering the rumor:

Lohan to Be Mrs. Ronson by Christmas? (TheCelebrityCafe.com) Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson inch closer to coming out (New York Daily News) Lohan to marry gal-pal? (Newsday) Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson inch closer to coming out (New York Daily News) Today In Lindsay Lohan Engagement Rumor News (Actress Archives) She can DJ her own wedding! (Philadelphia Metro)
First, who uses the phrase “gal-pal” anymore? Second, no really, who says “gal-pal” anymore? And third – that last headline was pretty funny.

Unfortunately for Lindsay-Samantha shippers, a rep for Lindsay denied the rumor, saying, “Please don’t believe the British press.” (The whole British press? That’s a bit of a sweeping generalization, don’t you think?)

But Samantha and Lindsay, apparently undaunted by the British conspiracy against them, attended the MTV Video Music Awards and the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week together earlier this week. Others are coming out, so to speak, in support of the couple. In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar, actress Kirsten Dunst said, “I’m sure there are a lot of girls out there who are so much more comfortable because they love Mean Girls and Lindsay’s dating a girl. I think that couldn’t be better. I know them enough to know that, deep down, they’re both sweet girls.”

Lindsay’s mom has only good things to say about the pair, telling ET at the Stand up for a Cure benefit in New York this week, “I love Lindsay and I love Samantha, if they are happy, I am happy. This is my child, I mean, what better place for a child to be than happy in her soul and her spirit.”

The media had a field day with the love triangle. Nathalie went on to confront her girlfriend, Sam, on live television. The two had it out with a wall of plexiglass between them, which, come to think of it, is something all lesbian couple fights should have. I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but all lesbian fights are the same.

“What were you doing with her?” “Nothing.” “Don’t lie to me!” “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” “I’m going back to my ex.” “But, baby, I love you.” “I love you, too. Let’s get married.”
And that is exactly what happened. After the show ended, Samantha and Nathalie reconciled, one of them proposed to the other – gay marriage is legal in Belgium – and they registered for wedding gifts at La Maison Depot. Yay?

– by Dara Nai

A LESBIAN WHO IS GOOD AT RUNNING THINGS? SHOCKING! Out writer and comedian Sue Perkins beat out to other contestants in the final round and won the audience vote to take home the BBC’s first ever Maestro competition. In this unique reality series, celebrities were taught to conduct the BBC orchestra each week, and the public and the orchestra voted on who they believed to be the best.

Judge Dominic Seldis said of Sue’s final performance, “I can’t believe what I’ve just seen – you made conducting Beethoven seem easy,” and judge Maxim Vengerov added, “Very convincing – great – Maestra!” Next up: Sue takes to the stage in London’s Hyde Park to conduct the BBC Concert Orchestra and soloist Lesley Garrett live in front of an audience of 30,000 people, as well as the millions watching and listening on radio and TV (BBC2 TV at 7.30pm). No pressure or anything!

Read Sue’s take on the competition here.

LATE NIGHT SNACK WITH BRIDGET Here’s the big news we hinted at last week: Due to its popularity on AfterEllen.com, our parent company, Logo, has decided to run Brunch With Bridget on its TV channel. So beginning next Friday, Sept. 19, Bridget McManus will return from her five-week hiatus to host BWB on Logo on Friday nights (each new episode will air first on TV on Friday nights/Saturday mornings at 2am – set your DVRs if you’re not a night owl), and a longer version will appear on AfterEllen.com on Sunday mornings.

Here’s a peek at the show’s new intro, with the theme song “Not Listening” provided by up-and-coming band Sick of Sarah (get their new album on iTunes, and check out the band on their MySpace profile – and look for the debut of their new music video “Daisies” on Logo’s NewNowNext Music this Sunday night). Bridget the vegetarian assured us that no zebras were harmed in the making of this video.

In related news, Bridget will also be hosting the annual Power Premiere this year (on Nov. 9 in L.A.), where she will no doubt say something inappropriate. Check out Bridget’s new official website at BridgetMcManus.com for her latest news, gigs and photos.

– by Sarah Warn

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Is Lily Tomlin guesting on Desperate Housewives? OK magazine says yes.

The Women, which opens this weekend, is getting eviscerated by critics; we’ll bring you our own review next week.

Tim Graham, the head of a conservative watchdog group, criticized MSBNC on Fox News this week, for “adding this lesbian Air America Radio host” – referring to Rachel Maddow. Read Jossip’s advice to Tim: “we see what you’re getting at here Graham, but seriously. Kill yourself.”

The lesbian Topp Twins were inducted into the New Zealand Music Hall of Fame this week.

This week’s Cheap Seats will be posted on Monday morning, but look for the Retro Reviewers take on Bound tomorrow!

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

Noticeably absent from this list in general is hip-hop, which makes it a lot less credible considering how many queer rappers there have been in the last few years. Has no one heard of God-Des and She or Yo Majesty? I urge OUT to reconsider its ideas of “greatest” and “gayest.”

– by Trish Bendix

PSST. FRENCH TV HAS A SECRET The AfterEllen.com Meet-Up in Paris wasn’t the only fun-filled lesbian mischief in France this summer. Season 2 of French TV channel TF1’s popular reality show, Secret Story, featured contestants Samantha and Nathalie, a lesbian couple from Belgium, who started the show together, became separated, experienced an indiscretion, which caused a breakup, that led to a reconciliation, and ended with a marriage proposal.

What did you do on your summer vacation? Merci beaucoup to AfterEllen reader jen1684 for tipping us off to this season’s lesbian drama.

Secret Story is a Big Brother-like show that throws contestants together – each one hiding a secret about an aspect of their lives – to live in “La Maison des Secrets,” or, as I like to call it, the House of the Down-Lows. The house has an off-camera voice, La Voix, who drops hints, and theme rooms such as the “Crystal Room,” the “Love Cave” and the “Museum of Secrets.” Not to be outdone by the French, next season’s Big Brother will feature a “Seven Minutes in Heaven Coat Closet” and the “There’s a Bikini Bottom Clogging the Drain Hot Tub.”

For 10 weeks, the Secret Story contestants try to uncover each other’s secret identities, professions and traits. This season’s cast included a princess, a break-dancer, an undertaker, and a guy with a bullet lodged in his head. And I thought the people on Last Comic Standing were weird. During the show, Samantha and Nathalie revealed their secret: They were in a relationship with each other. Then, Nathalie departed the show for “health reasons,” and that’s when the fun began.

Left to her own devices, Samantha got her flirt on with Marilyn, a 26-year-old contestant whose secret was that she’s a medium. Although allegedly straight, Marilyn flirted right back and the two could be seen on the house’s ubiquitous cameras girl-kissing, dancing and close talking with each other. Upon hearing the news, Nathalie came back to the show and threatened Marilyn. Apparently, Marilyn is not a very good medium, or she would have seen that coming.

The media had a field day with the love triangle. Nathalie went on to confront her girlfriend, Sam, on live television. The two had it out with a wall of plexiglass between them, which, come to think of it, is something all lesbian couple fights should have. I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but all lesbian fights are the same.

“What were you doing with her?” “Nothing.” “Don’t lie to me!” “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” “I’m going back to my ex.” “But, baby, I love you.” “I love you, too. Let’s get married.”
And that is exactly what happened. After the show ended, Samantha and Nathalie reconciled, one of them proposed to the other – gay marriage is legal in Belgium – and they registered for wedding gifts at La Maison Depot. Yay?

– by Dara Nai

A LESBIAN WHO IS GOOD AT RUNNING THINGS? SHOCKING! Out writer and comedian Sue Perkins beat out to other contestants in the final round and won the audience vote to take home the BBC’s first ever Maestro competition. In this unique reality series, celebrities were taught to conduct the BBC orchestra each week, and the public and the orchestra voted on who they believed to be the best.

Judge Dominic Seldis said of Sue’s final performance, “I can’t believe what I’ve just seen – you made conducting Beethoven seem easy,” and judge Maxim Vengerov added, “Very convincing – great – Maestra!” Next up: Sue takes to the stage in London’s Hyde Park to conduct the BBC Concert Orchestra and soloist Lesley Garrett live in front of an audience of 30,000 people, as well as the millions watching and listening on radio and TV (BBC2 TV at 7.30pm). No pressure or anything!

Read Sue’s take on the competition here.

LATE NIGHT SNACK WITH BRIDGET Here’s the big news we hinted at last week: Due to its popularity on AfterEllen.com, our parent company, Logo, has decided to run Brunch With Bridget on its TV channel. So beginning next Friday, Sept. 19, Bridget McManus will return from her five-week hiatus to host BWB on Logo on Friday nights (each new episode will air first on TV on Friday nights/Saturday mornings at 2am – set your DVRs if you’re not a night owl), and a longer version will appear on AfterEllen.com on Sunday mornings.

Here’s a peek at the show’s new intro, with the theme song “Not Listening” provided by up-and-coming band Sick of Sarah (get their new album on iTunes, and check out the band on their MySpace profile – and look for the debut of their new music video “Daisies” on Logo’s NewNowNext Music this Sunday night). Bridget the vegetarian assured us that no zebras were harmed in the making of this video.

In related news, Bridget will also be hosting the annual Power Premiere this year (on Nov. 9 in L.A.), where she will no doubt say something inappropriate. Check out Bridget’s new official website at BridgetMcManus.com for her latest news, gigs and photos.

– by Sarah Warn

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Is Lily Tomlin guesting on Desperate Housewives? OK magazine says yes.

The Women, which opens this weekend, is getting eviscerated by critics; we’ll bring you our own review next week.

Tim Graham, the head of a conservative watchdog group, criticized MSBNC on Fox News this week, for “adding this lesbian Air America Radio host” – referring to Rachel Maddow. Read Jossip’s advice to Tim: “we see what you’re getting at here Graham, but seriously. Kill yourself.”

The lesbian Topp Twins were inducted into the New Zealand Music Hall of Fame this week.

This week’s Cheap Seats will be posted on Monday morning, but look for the Retro Reviewers take on Bound tomorrow!

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK “The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive. That’s because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness and there was no sexual tension.” – Naomi Watts, who must be lying, to Showbiz Spy

– by the linster

WHO DOESN’T LIKE A GIRL WHO IS GOOD WITH HER HANDS? Sia is one singer who does not want to waste a music video on some boring scenes of her lip-syncing a song. Her video for “The Girl You Lost” had her playing several different characters, and now her new video for “Soon We’ll Be Found” utilizes lots and lots of hands.

The bisexual singer learned American Sign language to sign the lyrics in the video, but also gets into shadow puppets. I wonder if her rumored girlfriend, JD Samson, was on set to keep an eye on those wandering hands.

ON HER REPORT CARD, IT PROBABLY SAID “PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS” Out musician Kaki King has recorded a new six-song EP with the indie rock band The Mountain Goats. Titled Black Bear Tree, the CD will be available online for downloading, as well as on vinyl, during their joint tour in October. The first single is one that surely Gay Girls Who Game will like, called “Sorry Mario, But Our Princess is in Another Castle.” The song features Kaki on drums – a little different from her usual guitar-wielding, which has been known to magically convert straight girls gay. (Just kidding, kind of.)

ISN’T “GREATEST” AND “GAYEST” A BIT REDUNDANT?

This month’s issue of OUT Magazine lists “The 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums” according to its editors and gay celebrities who submitted their own Top 10s, some of which are available for reading on Out’s web site. (As of now, Amy Ray is the only lesbian whose list is available.) What makes an album gay is debatable, but OUT chose to define their list makers as records by queer musicians but also what they “consider gay masterpieces by mostly straight acts like ABBA, Donna Summer, and, of course, Madonna.”

The list is heavily male-driven (what else would you expect?) but there are a handful (read: not nearly enough) of albums by queer women that made the list, and it can definitely be agreed upon that they are deserving (though most at a much higher rank.)

List makers include Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman, #3), Indigo Girls (Indigo Girls, #4), Ani DiFranco (Dilate, #13), The Gossip (Standing in the Way of Control, #22), k.d. lang (Ingénue, #25), Dusty Springfield (Dusty in Memphis, #38), Melissa Etheridge (Yes I Am, #41), Bikini Kill (Pussy Whipped, #45), Cris Williamson (The Changer and the Changed, #49), Team Dresch (Personal Best, #56), Sleater-Kinney (Dig Me Out, #61), Le Tigre (Le Tigre, #65), Frances Faye (Caught in the Act, #69), Ani DiFranco (Imperfectly, #76), Janis Ian (Between the Lines, #97).

Noticeably absent from this list in general is hip-hop, which makes it a lot less credible considering how many queer rappers there have been in the last few years. Has no one heard of God-Des and She or Yo Majesty? I urge OUT to reconsider its ideas of “greatest” and “gayest.”

– by Trish Bendix

PSST. FRENCH TV HAS A SECRET The AfterEllen.com Meet-Up in Paris wasn’t the only fun-filled lesbian mischief in France this summer. Season 2 of French TV channel TF1’s popular reality show, Secret Story, featured contestants Samantha and Nathalie, a lesbian couple from Belgium, who started the show together, became separated, experienced an indiscretion, which caused a breakup, that led to a reconciliation, and ended with a marriage proposal.

What did you do on your summer vacation? Merci beaucoup to AfterEllen reader jen1684 for tipping us off to this season’s lesbian drama.

Secret Story is a Big Brother-like show that throws contestants together – each one hiding a secret about an aspect of their lives – to live in “La Maison des Secrets,” or, as I like to call it, the House of the Down-Lows. The house has an off-camera voice, La Voix, who drops hints, and theme rooms such as the “Crystal Room,” the “Love Cave” and the “Museum of Secrets.” Not to be outdone by the French, next season’s Big Brother will feature a “Seven Minutes in Heaven Coat Closet” and the “There’s a Bikini Bottom Clogging the Drain Hot Tub.”

For 10 weeks, the Secret Story contestants try to uncover each other’s secret identities, professions and traits. This season’s cast included a princess, a break-dancer, an undertaker, and a guy with a bullet lodged in his head. And I thought the people on Last Comic Standing were weird. During the show, Samantha and Nathalie revealed their secret: They were in a relationship with each other. Then, Nathalie departed the show for “health reasons,” and that’s when the fun began.

Left to her own devices, Samantha got her flirt on with Marilyn, a 26-year-old contestant whose secret was that she’s a medium. Although allegedly straight, Marilyn flirted right back and the two could be seen on the house’s ubiquitous cameras girl-kissing, dancing and close talking with each other. Upon hearing the news, Nathalie came back to the show and threatened Marilyn. Apparently, Marilyn is not a very good medium, or she would have seen that coming.

The media had a field day with the love triangle. Nathalie went on to confront her girlfriend, Sam, on live television. The two had it out with a wall of plexiglass between them, which, come to think of it, is something all lesbian couple fights should have. I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but all lesbian fights are the same.

“What were you doing with her?” “Nothing.” “Don’t lie to me!” “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” “I’m going back to my ex.” “But, baby, I love you.” “I love you, too. Let’s get married.”
And that is exactly what happened. After the show ended, Samantha and Nathalie reconciled, one of them proposed to the other – gay marriage is legal in Belgium – and they registered for wedding gifts at La Maison Depot. Yay?

– by Dara Nai

A LESBIAN WHO IS GOOD AT RUNNING THINGS? SHOCKING! Out writer and comedian Sue Perkins beat out to other contestants in the final round and won the audience vote to take home the BBC’s first ever Maestro competition. In this unique reality series, celebrities were taught to conduct the BBC orchestra each week, and the public and the orchestra voted on who they believed to be the best.

Judge Dominic Seldis said of Sue’s final performance, “I can’t believe what I’ve just seen – you made conducting Beethoven seem easy,” and judge Maxim Vengerov added, “Very convincing – great – Maestra!” Next up: Sue takes to the stage in London’s Hyde Park to conduct the BBC Concert Orchestra and soloist Lesley Garrett live in front of an audience of 30,000 people, as well as the millions watching and listening on radio and TV (BBC2 TV at 7.30pm). No pressure or anything!

Read Sue’s take on the competition here.

LATE NIGHT SNACK WITH BRIDGET Here’s the big news we hinted at last week: Due to its popularity on AfterEllen.com, our parent company, Logo, has decided to run Brunch With Bridget on its TV channel. So beginning next Friday, Sept. 19, Bridget McManus will return from her five-week hiatus to host BWB on Logo on Friday nights (each new episode will air first on TV on Friday nights/Saturday mornings at 2am – set your DVRs if you’re not a night owl), and a longer version will appear on AfterEllen.com on Sunday mornings.

Here’s a peek at the show’s new intro, with the theme song “Not Listening” provided by up-and-coming band Sick of Sarah (get their new album on iTunes, and check out the band on their MySpace profile – and look for the debut of their new music video “Daisies” on Logo’s NewNowNext Music this Sunday night). Bridget the vegetarian assured us that no zebras were harmed in the making of this video.

In related news, Bridget will also be hosting the annual Power Premiere this year (on Nov. 9 in L.A.), where she will no doubt say something inappropriate. Check out Bridget’s new official website at BridgetMcManus.com for her latest news, gigs and photos.

– by Sarah Warn

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Is Lily Tomlin guesting on Desperate Housewives? OK magazine says yes.

The Women, which opens this weekend, is getting eviscerated by critics; we’ll bring you our own review next week.

Tim Graham, the head of a conservative watchdog group, criticized MSBNC on Fox News this week, for “adding this lesbian Air America Radio host” – referring to Rachel Maddow. Read Jossip’s advice to Tim: “we see what you’re getting at here Graham, but seriously. Kill yourself.”

The lesbian Topp Twins were inducted into the New Zealand Music Hall of Fame this week.

This week’s Cheap Seats will be posted on Monday morning, but look for the Retro Reviewers take on Bound tomorrow!

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

I’m still waiting to see the outtake footage of Ellen teaching Portia to scream at sporting events from her diaphragm, Portia visiting Ellen at her flower shop, and the brides playing Dance Dance Revolution at a video arcade…Wait, I think that’s a different video altogether.

– by Karman Kregloe

AFTERELLEN.COM IS BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN We can’t blame The Sun for wanting to latch on to a good thing. I mean, publishing a list of women who lesbians think are hot is brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you!

But something smells a bit, er, fishy about The Sun‘s “Women We’d Love to Love” list.

Don’t get me wrong – every woman on The Sun‘s list is indeed hot. No. 1 is Rachel Weisz, who was No. 50 on AfterEllen.com’s Hot 100. Weisz gets major Sapphic points for playing bi in Definitely Maybe. But this is how the “surveyed lesbians” allegedly described her: “From her woman in peril in the first two Mummy movies to her Academy Award winning turn in The Constant Gardener, Rachel Weisz is one gorgeous English gal with a whole lot of range.”

Excuse me, “one gorgeous English gal?” When have you ever heard a lesbian describe a woman in those terms? Maybe the phrasing is less condescending in the UK than it sounds to us ‘merican speakers. I trust our readers from across the pond will let us know.

No. 2 on the list is Nicole Kidman, 84 on our Hot 100. Indeed, Kidman is lovely. “Voters said it was the 41-year-old’s stockings and suspenders in the hit musical movie ‘Moulin Rouge‘ that turned them on.”

I realize that “suspenders” refers to what we usually call garters (although I bet Nicole in the other kind of suspenders and stockings would be pretty hot, too). And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice her stunning, um, visage. But the phrasing bothers me. It sounds like something a straight man would say.

And, honestly, I find Kidman even more appealing in a role like The Interpreter, in which she plays a tough, intelligent, independent woman.

Minnie Driver came in third for being “gorgeous and wickedly funny.” OK, that’s more like it. At least they’re acknowledging that she has a personality.

AfterEllen.com favorite Kate Winslet comes in at No. 4. She was 15th on this year’s Hot 100.

At this point, we have to deduce that the list was restricted to British and Australian actresses, which makes me wonder why Winslet isn’t No. 1. Heavenly Creatures anyone?

Rounding out The Sun‘s list are 5. Naomi Watts (Hot 100 No. 92) 6. Keira Knightley (31) 7. Thandie Newton 8. Emily Blunt (41) 9. Catherine Zeta-Jones 10. Cate Blanchett (36)

Watts, Knightley and Blunt all have played lesbians on film. (Whether you include Blanchett’s portrayal of Katharine Hepburn is entirely up to you.)

But I’m skeptical. Who are these 4,000 lesbians? How did The Sun determine that the voters were, in fact, lesbians? Did voters come up with these celebrity names out of the blue, or did they have a list to choose from? I just can’t imagine these 10 women would come to mind before, oh, Kate Beckinsale. Or Rachel Shelley. Or Scarlett Johansson. And what self-respecting lesbian would list 10 hot British/Aussie/Kiwi actresses with no mention of Lucy Lawless? I suggest we take a closer look at this list. Much, much closer.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK “The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive. That’s because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness and there was no sexual tension.” – Naomi Watts, who must be lying, to Showbiz Spy

– by the linster

WHO DOESN’T LIKE A GIRL WHO IS GOOD WITH HER HANDS? Sia is one singer who does not want to waste a music video on some boring scenes of her lip-syncing a song. Her video for “The Girl You Lost” had her playing several different characters, and now her new video for “Soon We’ll Be Found” utilizes lots and lots of hands.

The bisexual singer learned American Sign language to sign the lyrics in the video, but also gets into shadow puppets. I wonder if her rumored girlfriend, JD Samson, was on set to keep an eye on those wandering hands.

ON HER REPORT CARD, IT PROBABLY SAID “PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS” Out musician Kaki King has recorded a new six-song EP with the indie rock band The Mountain Goats. Titled Black Bear Tree, the CD will be available online for downloading, as well as on vinyl, during their joint tour in October. The first single is one that surely Gay Girls Who Game will like, called “Sorry Mario, But Our Princess is in Another Castle.” The song features Kaki on drums – a little different from her usual guitar-wielding, which has been known to magically convert straight girls gay. (Just kidding, kind of.)

ISN’T “GREATEST” AND “GAYEST” A BIT REDUNDANT?

This month’s issue of OUT Magazine lists “The 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums” according to its editors and gay celebrities who submitted their own Top 10s, some of which are available for reading on Out’s web site. (As of now, Amy Ray is the only lesbian whose list is available.) What makes an album gay is debatable, but OUT chose to define their list makers as records by queer musicians but also what they “consider gay masterpieces by mostly straight acts like ABBA, Donna Summer, and, of course, Madonna.”

The list is heavily male-driven (what else would you expect?) but there are a handful (read: not nearly enough) of albums by queer women that made the list, and it can definitely be agreed upon that they are deserving (though most at a much higher rank.)

List makers include Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman, #3), Indigo Girls (Indigo Girls, #4), Ani DiFranco (Dilate, #13), The Gossip (Standing in the Way of Control, #22), k.d. lang (Ingénue, #25), Dusty Springfield (Dusty in Memphis, #38), Melissa Etheridge (Yes I Am, #41), Bikini Kill (Pussy Whipped, #45), Cris Williamson (The Changer and the Changed, #49), Team Dresch (Personal Best, #56), Sleater-Kinney (Dig Me Out, #61), Le Tigre (Le Tigre, #65), Frances Faye (Caught in the Act, #69), Ani DiFranco (Imperfectly, #76), Janis Ian (Between the Lines, #97).

Noticeably absent from this list in general is hip-hop, which makes it a lot less credible considering how many queer rappers there have been in the last few years. Has no one heard of God-Des and She or Yo Majesty? I urge OUT to reconsider its ideas of “greatest” and “gayest.”

– by Trish Bendix

PSST. FRENCH TV HAS A SECRET The AfterEllen.com Meet-Up in Paris wasn’t the only fun-filled lesbian mischief in France this summer. Season 2 of French TV channel TF1’s popular reality show, Secret Story, featured contestants Samantha and Nathalie, a lesbian couple from Belgium, who started the show together, became separated, experienced an indiscretion, which caused a breakup, that led to a reconciliation, and ended with a marriage proposal.

What did you do on your summer vacation? Merci beaucoup to AfterEllen reader jen1684 for tipping us off to this season’s lesbian drama.

Secret Story is a Big Brother-like show that throws contestants together – each one hiding a secret about an aspect of their lives – to live in “La Maison des Secrets,” or, as I like to call it, the House of the Down-Lows. The house has an off-camera voice, La Voix, who drops hints, and theme rooms such as the “Crystal Room,” the “Love Cave” and the “Museum of Secrets.” Not to be outdone by the French, next season’s Big Brother will feature a “Seven Minutes in Heaven Coat Closet” and the “There’s a Bikini Bottom Clogging the Drain Hot Tub.”

For 10 weeks, the Secret Story contestants try to uncover each other’s secret identities, professions and traits. This season’s cast included a princess, a break-dancer, an undertaker, and a guy with a bullet lodged in his head. And I thought the people on Last Comic Standing were weird. During the show, Samantha and Nathalie revealed their secret: They were in a relationship with each other. Then, Nathalie departed the show for “health reasons,” and that’s when the fun began.

Left to her own devices, Samantha got her flirt on with Marilyn, a 26-year-old contestant whose secret was that she’s a medium. Although allegedly straight, Marilyn flirted right back and the two could be seen on the house’s ubiquitous cameras girl-kissing, dancing and close talking with each other. Upon hearing the news, Nathalie came back to the show and threatened Marilyn. Apparently, Marilyn is not a very good medium, or she would have seen that coming.

The media had a field day with the love triangle. Nathalie went on to confront her girlfriend, Sam, on live television. The two had it out with a wall of plexiglass between them, which, come to think of it, is something all lesbian couple fights should have. I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but all lesbian fights are the same.

“What were you doing with her?” “Nothing.” “Don’t lie to me!” “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” “I’m going back to my ex.” “But, baby, I love you.” “I love you, too. Let’s get married.”
And that is exactly what happened. After the show ended, Samantha and Nathalie reconciled, one of them proposed to the other – gay marriage is legal in Belgium – and they registered for wedding gifts at La Maison Depot. Yay?

– by Dara Nai

A LESBIAN WHO IS GOOD AT RUNNING THINGS? SHOCKING! Out writer and comedian Sue Perkins beat out to other contestants in the final round and won the audience vote to take home the BBC’s first ever Maestro competition. In this unique reality series, celebrities were taught to conduct the BBC orchestra each week, and the public and the orchestra voted on who they believed to be the best.

Judge Dominic Seldis said of Sue’s final performance, “I can’t believe what I’ve just seen – you made conducting Beethoven seem easy,” and judge Maxim Vengerov added, “Very convincing – great – Maestra!” Next up: Sue takes to the stage in London’s Hyde Park to conduct the BBC Concert Orchestra and soloist Lesley Garrett live in front of an audience of 30,000 people, as well as the millions watching and listening on radio and TV (BBC2 TV at 7.30pm). No pressure or anything!

Read Sue’s take on the competition here.

LATE NIGHT SNACK WITH BRIDGET Here’s the big news we hinted at last week: Due to its popularity on AfterEllen.com, our parent company, Logo, has decided to run Brunch With Bridget on its TV channel. So beginning next Friday, Sept. 19, Bridget McManus will return from her five-week hiatus to host BWB on Logo on Friday nights (each new episode will air first on TV on Friday nights/Saturday mornings at 2am – set your DVRs if you’re not a night owl), and a longer version will appear on AfterEllen.com on Sunday mornings.

Here’s a peek at the show’s new intro, with the theme song “Not Listening” provided by up-and-coming band Sick of Sarah (get their new album on iTunes, and check out the band on their MySpace profile – and look for the debut of their new music video “Daisies” on Logo’s NewNowNext Music this Sunday night). Bridget the vegetarian assured us that no zebras were harmed in the making of this video.

In related news, Bridget will also be hosting the annual Power Premiere this year (on Nov. 9 in L.A.), where she will no doubt say something inappropriate. Check out Bridget’s new official website at BridgetMcManus.com for her latest news, gigs and photos.

– by Sarah Warn

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Is Lily Tomlin guesting on Desperate Housewives? OK magazine says yes.

The Women, which opens this weekend, is getting eviscerated by critics; we’ll bring you our own review next week.

Tim Graham, the head of a conservative watchdog group, criticized MSBNC on Fox News this week, for “adding this lesbian Air America Radio host” – referring to Rachel Maddow. Read Jossip’s advice to Tim: “we see what you’re getting at here Graham, but seriously. Kill yourself.”

The lesbian Topp Twins were inducted into the New Zealand Music Hall of Fame this week.

This week’s Cheap Seats will be posted on Monday morning, but look for the Retro Reviewers take on Bound tomorrow!

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

Peer approval? Parental approval? Next they’ll be putting a lesbian wedding on the cover of People magazine, and giving an out lesbian her own primetime political commentary show. What is the world coming to?!

– by Sarah Warn

WILL ELLEN MODEL THROUGH IT? This week, etonline.com broke the story that Ellen DeGeneres has been tapped to be the next face of Cover Girl cosmetics. Other sites, like The New York Post’s Page Six, followed up on the story, linking back to the ET story and reporting that DeGeneres was shooting her CG campaign this week and quoted a “spy” as saying, “She must have gotten at least $1 million for it.”

There’s just one problem with all of this – etonline.com has removed the story from their website.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that neither the reps for DeGeneres or Cover Girl have commented on nor confirmed the news. So is it true? If it is, that means Ellen will be in good company, joining the ranks of other lesbian-favored Cover Girls like Queen Latifah, Drew Barrymore, and Tyra Banks and her army of Top Model winners. Oh, wait, there’s one other problem. There’s already a burgeoning controversy over the fact that self-proclaimed animal lover DeGeneres would be lending her name to one of the largest U.S. companies that continues to conduct animal testing for some of their products. Oh, lordy. Having an out lesbian be the face of one the most recognizable beauty products in the world would definitely cause a tear in the time-space-homophobic stereotypes continuum, but will legions of vegetarian, PETA-loving lesbians and bi women be thrilled to hear the news?

In related news, newlyweds DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi graced the cover (in cartoon) form of The Advocate this week as a part of a feature article on the cultural impact of legalized gay marriage. In the article, “As Ellen Goes, So Goes the Nation,” writer Michele Kort writes that in the years that have passed (11, to be exact) since DeGeneres first publicly came out and soon after faced the cancellation of her once-popular sitcom, the cultural acceptance of both lesbianism and the performer herself has dramatically changed.

“By the time California made it legal for her to marry De Rossi, her partner of four years, DeGeneres had become one of those people who transcends common notions about gender or sexuality, much as a Bill Cosby or Tiger Woods seems to rise above common racial prejudices. She’s so damn friendly, cute, funny – dare we say normal? – that the everyday Americans have seamlessly incorporated – and accepted – her sexual orientation as a part of who she is. No questions asked. DeGeneres’s studio audience gave her a standing ovation when she announced her engagement, and a Harris poll this year found that DeGeneres is currently the country’s ‘favorite television star.'”
Speaking of Ellen and Portia’s wedding, new photos were posted on The Ellen DeGeneres Show website this week. Below are just a few of them: Go here to watch a video clip of the wedding too.

I’m still waiting to see the outtake footage of Ellen teaching Portia to scream at sporting events from her diaphragm, Portia visiting Ellen at her flower shop, and the brides playing Dance Dance Revolution at a video arcade…Wait, I think that’s a different video altogether.

– by Karman Kregloe

AFTERELLEN.COM IS BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN We can’t blame The Sun for wanting to latch on to a good thing. I mean, publishing a list of women who lesbians think are hot is brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you!

But something smells a bit, er, fishy about The Sun‘s “Women We’d Love to Love” list.

Don’t get me wrong – every woman on The Sun‘s list is indeed hot. No. 1 is Rachel Weisz, who was No. 50 on AfterEllen.com’s Hot 100. Weisz gets major Sapphic points for playing bi in Definitely Maybe. But this is how the “surveyed lesbians” allegedly described her: “From her woman in peril in the first two Mummy movies to her Academy Award winning turn in The Constant Gardener, Rachel Weisz is one gorgeous English gal with a whole lot of range.”

Excuse me, “one gorgeous English gal?” When have you ever heard a lesbian describe a woman in those terms? Maybe the phrasing is less condescending in the UK than it sounds to us ‘merican speakers. I trust our readers from across the pond will let us know.

No. 2 on the list is Nicole Kidman, 84 on our Hot 100. Indeed, Kidman is lovely. “Voters said it was the 41-year-old’s stockings and suspenders in the hit musical movie ‘Moulin Rouge‘ that turned them on.”

I realize that “suspenders” refers to what we usually call garters (although I bet Nicole in the other kind of suspenders and stockings would be pretty hot, too). And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice her stunning, um, visage. But the phrasing bothers me. It sounds like something a straight man would say.

And, honestly, I find Kidman even more appealing in a role like The Interpreter, in which she plays a tough, intelligent, independent woman.

Minnie Driver came in third for being “gorgeous and wickedly funny.” OK, that’s more like it. At least they’re acknowledging that she has a personality.

AfterEllen.com favorite Kate Winslet comes in at No. 4. She was 15th on this year’s Hot 100.

At this point, we have to deduce that the list was restricted to British and Australian actresses, which makes me wonder why Winslet isn’t No. 1. Heavenly Creatures anyone?

Rounding out The Sun‘s list are 5. Naomi Watts (Hot 100 No. 92) 6. Keira Knightley (31) 7. Thandie Newton 8. Emily Blunt (41) 9. Catherine Zeta-Jones 10. Cate Blanchett (36)

Watts, Knightley and Blunt all have played lesbians on film. (Whether you include Blanchett’s portrayal of Katharine Hepburn is entirely up to you.)

But I’m skeptical. Who are these 4,000 lesbians? How did The Sun determine that the voters were, in fact, lesbians? Did voters come up with these celebrity names out of the blue, or did they have a list to choose from? I just can’t imagine these 10 women would come to mind before, oh, Kate Beckinsale. Or Rachel Shelley. Or Scarlett Johansson. And what self-respecting lesbian would list 10 hot British/Aussie/Kiwi actresses with no mention of Lucy Lawless? I suggest we take a closer look at this list. Much, much closer.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK “The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive. That’s because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness and there was no sexual tension.” – Naomi Watts, who must be lying, to Showbiz Spy

– by the linster

WHO DOESN’T LIKE A GIRL WHO IS GOOD WITH HER HANDS? Sia is one singer who does not want to waste a music video on some boring scenes of her lip-syncing a song. Her video for “The Girl You Lost” had her playing several different characters, and now her new video for “Soon We’ll Be Found” utilizes lots and lots of hands.

The bisexual singer learned American Sign language to sign the lyrics in the video, but also gets into shadow puppets. I wonder if her rumored girlfriend, JD Samson, was on set to keep an eye on those wandering hands.

ON HER REPORT CARD, IT PROBABLY SAID “PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS” Out musician Kaki King has recorded a new six-song EP with the indie rock band The Mountain Goats. Titled Black Bear Tree, the CD will be available online for downloading, as well as on vinyl, during their joint tour in October. The first single is one that surely Gay Girls Who Game will like, called “Sorry Mario, But Our Princess is in Another Castle.” The song features Kaki on drums – a little different from her usual guitar-wielding, which has been known to magically convert straight girls gay. (Just kidding, kind of.)

ISN’T “GREATEST” AND “GAYEST” A BIT REDUNDANT?

This month’s issue of OUT Magazine lists “The 100 Greatest, Gayest Albums” according to its editors and gay celebrities who submitted their own Top 10s, some of which are available for reading on Out’s web site. (As of now, Amy Ray is the only lesbian whose list is available.) What makes an album gay is debatable, but OUT chose to define their list makers as records by queer musicians but also what they “consider gay masterpieces by mostly straight acts like ABBA, Donna Summer, and, of course, Madonna.”

The list is heavily male-driven (what else would you expect?) but there are a handful (read: not nearly enough) of albums by queer women that made the list, and it can definitely be agreed upon that they are deserving (though most at a much higher rank.)

List makers include Tracy Chapman (Tracy Chapman, #3), Indigo Girls (Indigo Girls, #4), Ani DiFranco (Dilate, #13), The Gossip (Standing in the Way of Control, #22), k.d. lang (Ingénue, #25), Dusty Springfield (Dusty in Memphis, #38), Melissa Etheridge (Yes I Am, #41), Bikini Kill (Pussy Whipped, #45), Cris Williamson (The Changer and the Changed, #49), Team Dresch (Personal Best, #56), Sleater-Kinney (Dig Me Out, #61), Le Tigre (Le Tigre, #65), Frances Faye (Caught in the Act, #69), Ani DiFranco (Imperfectly, #76), Janis Ian (Between the Lines, #97).

Noticeably absent from this list in general is hip-hop, which makes it a lot less credible considering how many queer rappers there have been in the last few years. Has no one heard of God-Des and She or Yo Majesty? I urge OUT to reconsider its ideas of “greatest” and “gayest.”

– by Trish Bendix

PSST. FRENCH TV HAS A SECRET The AfterEllen.com Meet-Up in Paris wasn’t the only fun-filled lesbian mischief in France this summer. Season 2 of French TV channel TF1’s popular reality show, Secret Story, featured contestants Samantha and Nathalie, a lesbian couple from Belgium, who started the show together, became separated, experienced an indiscretion, which caused a breakup, that led to a reconciliation, and ended with a marriage proposal.

What did you do on your summer vacation? Merci beaucoup to AfterEllen reader jen1684 for tipping us off to this season’s lesbian drama.

Secret Story is a Big Brother-like show that throws contestants together – each one hiding a secret about an aspect of their lives – to live in “La Maison des Secrets,” or, as I like to call it, the House of the Down-Lows. The house has an off-camera voice, La Voix, who drops hints, and theme rooms such as the “Crystal Room,” the “Love Cave” and the “Museum of Secrets.” Not to be outdone by the French, next season’s Big Brother will feature a “Seven Minutes in Heaven Coat Closet” and the “There’s a Bikini Bottom Clogging the Drain Hot Tub.”

For 10 weeks, the Secret Story contestants try to uncover each other’s secret identities, professions and traits. This season’s cast included a princess, a break-dancer, an undertaker, and a guy with a bullet lodged in his head. And I thought the people on Last Comic Standing were weird. During the show, Samantha and Nathalie revealed their secret: They were in a relationship with each other. Then, Nathalie departed the show for “health reasons,” and that’s when the fun began.

Left to her own devices, Samantha got her flirt on with Marilyn, a 26-year-old contestant whose secret was that she’s a medium. Although allegedly straight, Marilyn flirted right back and the two could be seen on the house’s ubiquitous cameras girl-kissing, dancing and close talking with each other. Upon hearing the news, Nathalie came back to the show and threatened Marilyn. Apparently, Marilyn is not a very good medium, or she would have seen that coming.

The media had a field day with the love triangle. Nathalie went on to confront her girlfriend, Sam, on live television. The two had it out with a wall of plexiglass between them, which, come to think of it, is something all lesbian couple fights should have. I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but all lesbian fights are the same.

“What were you doing with her?” “Nothing.” “Don’t lie to me!” “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” “I’m going back to my ex.” “But, baby, I love you.” “I love you, too. Let’s get married.”
And that is exactly what happened. After the show ended, Samantha and Nathalie reconciled, one of them proposed to the other – gay marriage is legal in Belgium – and they registered for wedding gifts at La Maison Depot. Yay?

– by Dara Nai

A LESBIAN WHO IS GOOD AT RUNNING THINGS? SHOCKING! Out writer and comedian Sue Perkins beat out to other contestants in the final round and won the audience vote to take home the BBC’s first ever Maestro competition. In this unique reality series, celebrities were taught to conduct the BBC orchestra each week, and the public and the orchestra voted on who they believed to be the best.

Judge Dominic Seldis said of Sue’s final performance, “I can’t believe what I’ve just seen – you made conducting Beethoven seem easy,” and judge Maxim Vengerov added, “Very convincing – great – Maestra!” Next up: Sue takes to the stage in London’s Hyde Park to conduct the BBC Concert Orchestra and soloist Lesley Garrett live in front of an audience of 30,000 people, as well as the millions watching and listening on radio and TV (BBC2 TV at 7.30pm). No pressure or anything!

Read Sue’s take on the competition here.

LATE NIGHT SNACK WITH BRIDGET Here’s the big news we hinted at last week: Due to its popularity on AfterEllen.com, our parent company, Logo, has decided to run Brunch With Bridget on its TV channel. So beginning next Friday, Sept. 19, Bridget McManus will return from her five-week hiatus to host BWB on Logo on Friday nights (each new episode will air first on TV on Friday nights/Saturday mornings at 2am – set your DVRs if you’re not a night owl), and a longer version will appear on AfterEllen.com on Sunday mornings.

Here’s a peek at the show’s new intro, with the theme song “Not Listening” provided by up-and-coming band Sick of Sarah (get their new album on iTunes, and check out the band on their MySpace profile – and look for the debut of their new music video “Daisies” on Logo’s NewNowNext Music this Sunday night). Bridget the vegetarian assured us that no zebras were harmed in the making of this video.

In related news, Bridget will also be hosting the annual Power Premiere this year (on Nov. 9 in L.A.), where she will no doubt say something inappropriate. Check out Bridget’s new official website at BridgetMcManus.com for her latest news, gigs and photos.

– by Sarah Warn

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Is Lily Tomlin guesting on Desperate Housewives? OK magazine says yes.

The Women, which opens this weekend, is getting eviscerated by critics; we’ll bring you our own review next week.

Tim Graham, the head of a conservative watchdog group, criticized MSBNC on Fox News this week, for “adding this lesbian Air America Radio host” – referring to Rachel Maddow. Read Jossip’s advice to Tim: “we see what you’re getting at here Graham, but seriously. Kill yourself.”

The lesbian Topp Twins were inducted into the New Zealand Music Hall of Fame this week.

This week’s Cheap Seats will be posted on Monday morning, but look for the Retro Reviewers take on Bound tomorrow!

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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