Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (September 12, 2008)

The Meet-Up in Paris wasn’t the only fun-filled lesbian mischief in France this summer. Season 2 of French TV channel TF1’s popular reality show, Secret Story, featured contestants Samantha and Nathalie, a lesbian couple from Belgium, who started the show together, became separated, experienced an indiscretion, which caused a breakup, that led to a reconciliation, and ended with a marriage proposal.

What did you do on your summer vacation?

Merci beaucoup to AfterEllen reader jen1684 for tipping us off to this season’s lesbian drama.

Secret Story is a Big Brother-like show that throws contestants together — each one hiding a secret about an aspect of their lives — to live in “La Maison des Secrets,” or, as I like to call it, the House of the Down-Lows.  The house has an off-camera voice, La Voix, who drops hints, and theme rooms such as the “Crystal Room,” the “Love Cave” and the “Museum of Secrets.”  Not to be outdone by the French, next season’s Big Brother will feature a “Seven Minutes in Heaven Coat Closet” and the “There’s a Bikini Bottom Clogging the Drain Hot Tub.”

For 10 weeks, the Secret Story contestants try to uncover each other’s secret identities, professions and traits. This season’s cast included a princess, a break-dancer, an undertaker, and a guy with a bullet lodged in his head.  And I thought the people on Last Comic Standing were weird.  During the show, Samantha and Nathalie revealed their secret: They were in a relationship with each other. Then, Nathalie departed the show for “health reasons,” and that’s when the fun began.

Left to her own devices, Samantha got her flirt on with Marilyn, a 26-year-old contestant whose secret was that she’s a medium.

Left to right: Nathalie, Samantha, and Marilyn

Although allegedly straight, Marilyn flirted right back and the two could be seen on the house’s ubiquitous cameras girl-kissing, dancing and close talking with each other.

Upon hearing the news, Nathalie came back to the show and threatened Marilyn. Apparently, Marilyn is not a very good medium, or she would have seen that coming.

The media had a field day with the love triangle.

Nathalie went on to confront her girlfriend, Sam, on live television. The two had it out with a wall of plexiglass between them, which, come to think of it, is something all lesbian couple fights should have.

I don’t understand a word they’re saying, but all lesbian fights are the same.

“What were you doing with her?”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”
“I’m going back to my ex.”
“But, baby, I love you.”
“I love you, too.  Let’s get married.”

And that is exactly what happened. After the show ended, Samantha and Nathalie reconciled, one of them proposed to the other — gay marriage is legal in Belgium — and they registered for
wedding gifts at La Maison Depot. Yay?

— by Dara Nai