Blah Girls are so blasé

Ashton Kutcher recently launched Blah Girls, a website that’s
calling itself a blog, but is really more of a
Vitamin-water-endorsed cross-breed of Saved by the Bell and The
Powerpuff Girls

Now, I’ve got a pretty thick skin when it comes to pop culture, but even going in with a “this won’t be perfect” attitude, I was still pretty taken aback by Blah Girl’s overt racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia.

Some examples of how things work in the world of Blah Girls:

Vitamin Water (TM) resurrects you from death by drowning and

It’s like spinach was for Popeye!

Girls talk about boys, fashion and Hollywood gossip.
All the time.
That’s basically it.

Women wearing suits are “fashion tranny trainwreck[s].”

Uh, yeah. I don’t even know where to begin unpacking that statement.

Black women start every sentence with “Yo!”
They also call every
other woman they interact with “Homegirl!”

You know if a man is gay or not by how he greets you.
“Hey bitches!”
or “Hey hookers!” equals gay. “Hello” equals not gay.

Usually, I love fluffy web animation — especially stuff that lampoons
high school clique-ish-ness — but this was so stupidly offensive, I
just stopped watching. Even overlooking the political flaws, the
jokes (like tired lines about Gwen Stefani‘s hair) just aren’t that funny.

For an actually excellent high school clique parody cartoon, I’m
sticking with Teen
Girl Squad
. So good!