Shape Up with Ever Mainard: Getting Dinah Ready

OH GOD. It’s Dinah season. What a weird new dread that I have placed upon my body. Dinah is a big ‘ol lady fest in which we take over Palm Springs, party at the pool, cry at the bar, and make up on the sidewalk. For many gals, Dinah marks the beginning of summer. 

This year will mark the second year that I will be at the Dinah Shore. Last year as a guest and this year as a CELESBIAN!   Who’s ready to party? Clearly me, because my pants don’t fit.  Whoops! Something that filled me with such delight two months ago is now filling me with anxiety and panic. BUT HOW CAN I SHOW UP TO THE WHITE PARTY WITH THIS BEER GUT?! I want to look fresh and not like a fresh crescent roll. I want to look fresh like a party stallion!



I know that I can’t be the only pony that wants to be a Dinah party stallion. So I decided to start a new weekly column where I share my ups and downs (preferably) with weight loss and the diet, workouts, and challenges that I face week to week. I am not a fitness expert, nor am I nutritionist; but I do have the Internet and access to a gym.   

The only time I have ever been happy with my body has always been during post break up depressions. You know the kind where you’re too sad to eat so you’re drastically losing weight and secretly happy about that fact? Then I get happy again, remember what food tastes like, and suddenly my pants are ripping when I bend over.  If there was only some middle ground!  (Hint: There is!)

For me, weight loss has never been about diet, or rather a healthy diet. Every time I decide to lose weight it’s always a certain amount in a certain time.  Then, when I don’t reach that goal I come up with a levy of excuses: Oh, I just didn’t have accountability, I worked too much, I was too tired, I don’t know how I didn’t lose the weight!


These are all little lies I tell myself. No one else should be holding me accountable for what I eat. Are you kidding me?  Not eat something because I’ll be shamed about it when I tell my accountability partner?  Trust me, if I was going to let shame stop me from putting things in my mouth I wouldn’t have dated the girls I have. Just kidding, just kidding.  (Totally not kidding.)

However, I realized that the end goal shouldn’t be X amount of weight in X amount of time, but rather actually caring about wtf I’m shoving down my throat.  And not just during my diet, but like, forever. 

The first thing I did was to download the app My Fitness Pal.   (If you don’t have a smartphone, it can be accessed through a computer.)


This amazing app helps you keep track of your calorie intake as well as calories burned through exercise.   Its jammed packed with extra goodies like recipes and exercise videos.  You can also connect with your friends! So come be a party stallion with me at and let’s get this thing going!

One of the best reasons to get MyFitnessPal is that it breaks down the nutritional values of everything you’ve eaten and puts them in to laymen’s terms.   So, even if you’ve only consumed 1,200 calories for the day it lets you know if what you’ve consumed is garbage for your body. Trust me, there’s a big difference consuming 1,200 calories in pizza vs. 1,200 calories in salads and grilled chicken.   

The desktop version allows you to choose different reports regarding nutrition and your inches lost progression.   The mobile app has a convenient pie graph (mmhmmmmm pie…) that shows you your nutritional percentages. 

         3Uh oh! Looks like someone hasn’t been eating enough protein!

             2Uh, yeah, like I’m going to share THAT info on the first day.

The next thing I did was to get a gym membership.  One of the challenges that I am looking to overcome in this series is my gym shyness.  I’m always afraid that people are judging me because of my body when the truth is, is that most people are either too busy cruising (I see you, West Hollywood) or too concerned with themselves to notice anyone else (I see you taking those gym selfies!)  Boy oh boy, I can’t wait to fart in a Zumba class!

I’m also going to be following this workout: The 10,000 kettlebell swing workout. This workout came highly recommended by several personal trainers at my gym. 


The website is intense and clearly directed towards body builders, so don’t be intimidated when scrolling down. Research shows that participants got leaner, glute strength got better (you’ll have a great looking butt) and abs were more visible.

So join me next week as I sob into a bag of kale after I record my weight, get my official body measurements, and learn what my body fat percentage is. 

Find Ever on Twitter: @evermainard