Latina magazine writer’s “Wet Hot Lesbian Summer”

I am seething right now, wishing I had the two minutes back in my life that it took for me to read Latina magazine’s blog post, “Wet Hot Lesbian Summer.” Blogger Sarita explains how she and her girl Angie were contemplating their summer plans when it occurred to them it might be a fun change to “be a lesbian this summer.”

The photo accompanying the blog post, which was titled “LesboArticle”

According to the blog, Angie started the conversation a little something like this:

“I think I’m going to be a lesbian this summer.”

“What are you talking about?!” I laughed incredulously.

“Well, I’m sick of guys,” she explained. “It’s always the same old story, and I seriously feel like forgetting about them for a bit and trying something new,” she said matter-of-factly.

Sarita goes on to say “deep down, Angie doesn’t really want to become a lesbian — but she did mention that visiting some of the city’s lesbian clubs and dancing with cute girls is always a blast. Hmm, after I thought about it for a second I realized a change of scenery may not be a bad idea at all.

Pump the breaks there Sarita, how do you know Angie doesn’t really want to become a lesbian (besides the fact that it isn’t something you just “become”)? This might be the only way she could think of to gauge your acceptance. After all, she didn’t say she wanted to go to gay male clubs to dance with the boys who have no interest in her. Now, I’m not saying Angie is actually a lesbian or even bisexual, I’m just saying she might think it’s easier to get the attention she craves from the gay female community.

As a commenter on the post noted, “wtf? What happend to getting a new hairstyle or a new pair of shoes for “a different change” for this summer??” Seriously, why are the gays being used as the new must-have accessory? Of course, if Zooey Deschanel decided she had to have me, I’d be OK with it.

To be totally honest, I’m not sure what angers me most about this. I want everyone — straights, gays, boys and girls — to feel comfortable hanging out at lesbian establishments. A good portion of my friends are straight, and you better believe if I have to go to their bars, they’re going to have to come to mine.

But a lot of my straight friends assume that the life of a lesbian (romantically) would just be so much easier because boys are immature/gross/smelly/mean/etc. Girls of course are made of butterfly kisses, Krispy Kreme donuts and unicorn wings. There are never misunderstandings, we can share each other’s clothes and we’re all totally sensitive to each other’s feelings. I want to shake them and say, “Come on straight allies, get with the program! Changing up your sexuality isn’t like changing up your summer cocktail!” (Mine will be a mojito this year, in case you were wondering!)

Perhaps what I’m struggling with is that when I came out, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Sure, my family should have known I was gay from the wardrobe choices I chose as a child (“I want to be twins with Daddy!”) but I didn’t want to disappoint them. Having someone write an article like this just makes my struggles seem so trivial, like it’s something you can change as easily as an outfit.

For some reason, there’s a large part of me that really doesn’t want to get upset by this article. You tell me, am I overreacting? Am I underreacting?