“True Blood” Recap (5.08): “Somebody That I Used To Know”

This week on True Blood, we finally have a reason to hate Bill Compton other than the fact that he’s really annoying. Also, I was waiting throughout the entire episode to see Jessica Clark again but was deeply disappointed. Lilith, were you ever really there at all?

All in all, though, I liked this episode way better than last week. We begin at the hospital, after the police take away the man who shot Luna and Sam. Subsequently, Luna has a totally justified freak out session. Her emotions are so severe that she skin-walks, transitioning into none other than her maybe boyfriend Sam Merlotte. I miss her face. She sneaks out of the hospital in some stolen clothes, with Sam Trammell doing his best Papi walk. I think his hips are too swishy to be convincing. Papi has more of a strut.

Meanwhile, the Authority crew comes home from their night of partying in blood puddles, wearing Mardi Gras beads. They appear to be in that unfortunate part of a good night out known as post-drunk. They process seeing Lilith, and Salome tells Steve to round up some humans for them to have drunk munchies on later – including a baby for Nigel. Eric really isn’t into it, since seeing Godric spoiled his high and he’s realized that killing humans for food/sport is wrong. Bill, however, did not get the memo.

When Salome calls Bill into her room for a late night snack on a woman with a four-month-old daughter, he does have a few moments of pondering the morals of eating a mother. Salome asks him, “If you really loved your human children, why didn’t you make them vampire?” I would like to point out that this is akin to suggesting that if parents love their children in general, they wouldn’t let them ever like, go to college, move out, start their own lives, etc. Bill flashes back to his daughter’s deathbed, where she begs him to turn her, and he refuses, because he says it is a curse to be immortal. But now that Bill has seen Lilith – all of Lilith – he sees the vampire condition differently, and settles in for a snack. Bill is quite the impressionable one.

Eric tries to convince Nora that Godric doesn’t approve of her behavior, but Nora is over Godric so she doesn’t care. They engage in some light choking play, but that doesn’t convince her either.

The members of the Authority then have a meeting to plan out the End of Days. Russell and Steve whisper sweet nothings to each other about massages from Asian men with British accents. I sincerely hope that we don’t have to see them having sex. Bill has the brilliant idea to start bombing True Blood factories – of which there are only five – so that the mainstreamers are forced to feed on humans “as they were meant to.” Eric is horrified. Bill says he is “evolving,” which, while definitely scary, is a welcome development for this rather stagnant character. Also, Bill, I never liked you.

Back in Bon Temps, Sookie tries her best to dump her fairy juice out on the front lawn, since she’s super tired of hearing Mike Spencer think about sucking her toes. Jason talks her out of it pretty easily, so maybe she didn’t mean it. And then she goes the opposite route, and she and Jason go to the fairy club to try to access her higher fairy powers. They really want to find out who murdered their parents.

The fairies take the Stackhouse kids to the bridge where their parents were killed. After a brief lesson in matter and energy, they join hands so that Sookie can access the ripples of time. And indeed, she enters her mother’s memory of the vampire attack. But then something creepy happens: Sookie switches from her mom’s brain to the vampire’s brain and seeks out the bloody Band-Aid in the backseat, only to be interrupted by the fairy Claudine, who zaps Sookie/the vampire. Have I mentioned how much I hate used Band-Aids? There’s been one on the stairs of the subway station near me for weeks and it is constantly ruining my day.

Sookie’s ability to access a vampire’s mind is supposed to be impossible, and everyone is really concerned about it. Sookie remembers that his name is Warlow, but to me it sounds more like she said “Wallow.” Wallow! Leave the girl alone! It has a nice ring to it.