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“Project Runway” recap: It took a boy in a dress

Oh, the challenge of designing for the “real woman”! This challenge always provides so many great opportunities for joy and empathy, opportunities which some designers grab on to while others let them fall away into the abyss. This episode provided so many highs and lows for my emotional spectrum that I might have a hard time writing a controlled recap, but I’ll do my best.

Turns out the first person to fail with this episode was really Lifetime, or the Project Runway execs, or whoever has the episode-naming rights. When I clicked on my DVR to catch up on this episode, I got to see that it was titled “Fix My Friend.” Awesome. Can we please take a giant step back from the notion of having to “fix” people, society? Cool. Thanks for working with me on that, because it sucks.

So, as the title implies, this challenge involves people who believe a certain friend in their life needs a little boost, in their style and their life. Naturally, there are a wide variety of women who are involved, and everyone accepts that designing for different sized women is a challenge when you’re used to designing for a size 0 week after week. However, the only person who proves to immediately be an asshole about it is Ven. After he first meets his client, he tells the camera that he is “shocked, and very disappointed.”

Well! How sad for you that just looking at a completely normal woman disappoints you! Oh, can you not hear this tiny violin I am playing for you? He continues to whine throughout the rest of the episode that it’s “unfair” to have to work with a “plus sized” woman while other people have skinny women. Poor, poor baby. Life is so hard for you.

He continues to show even more of the devil spawn which apparently lives inside of him when he talks to Tim Gunn, describing her “before” picture as a “nightmare,” essentially describing her as the largest and most monstrous being he has ever met. I think that he somehow believed Tim would sympathize with him, proving that he doesn’t know Tim at all. When Tim asks, “Well, what size is she?” Ven replies, “Oh my God, I don’t know,” and then with a horrified laugh, “I’m thinking…14?!”

OH NO! Not a 14!! Is this woman a freak of nature?! If she is, I must be an abomination, because I am–Ven, you might want to take a deep breath and sit down for this–a size 16. I know, it’s amazing that I can even find clothes that fit me! It’s a good thing you didn’t have to work with me, Ven! Especially because I think I look hella good and want to tell the world that I’m a size 16! I know, I am so weird! I must also have “no fashion sense,” as you keep telling everyone about your own client, who might I add was wearing a pretty cute shirt when you first met her!

Okay. Okay. Deep breath, Jill. Let’s take a step away from rage for a moment, even though rage is so fun. Because across the room, there is a completely different scene unfolding, and it will melt your heart. Gunnar is the only designer who openly says that he is “excited” about this challenge, because taking “normal” women and making them feel good is what he lives for. Thank goodness, Gunnar. You are immediately my favorite person right now. His model is, in my view, also pretty similar in size to Ven’s, but Gunnar never once views this as a downside or even comes to complaining about it. He is sassy, fun, and warm when talking with his client, and near the end of their first meeting, she starts to cry. When he asks, “Why the tears?,” she chokes something out that sounds like, “I’m just happy.” Then they hug! And I start crying too because I can’t deal with people crying out of happiness for themselves! Legit, y’all, there are tears all over my face! 

Gunnar tells the camera that her spirit is going to get him through the challenge. He says, “It’s funny how a random person can step in at the right moment to help you out, and not even know that they’re doing that.” Look, Gunnar, I’m already crying, okay? Cool it with the strangely accurate and unexpectedly heart-warming statements.

The other highlight of the new client-designer relationships is Fabio and Ko-Rely, who is a super duper fly adorably dykey tomboy. She doesn’t like wearing girly clothes because she doesn’t like to be sexualized. She’s wearing flannel. She’s a film student. She also got a completely rad haircut halfway through this episode. Listen, girl is pretty dreamy.

During the time in the workroom, we also start to delve into some cute Sharing Time, reaching that point in the season when the numbers have been whittled down to a point where we can actually start to get to know some of these designers. They chat about their siblings for a little while; Fabio video chats with his boyfriend, an exchange which is too cute for words. His boyfriend even makes their cat say hello. Oh, the gays. We also learn that Dmitry used to be a professional ballroom dancer before he moved to the US. I repeat: Dmitry used to be a ballroom dancer. And all the happy-shocked reaction GIFs entered my head and danced all around.

It’s also clear from the comments in last week’s recaps that there are lots of mixed feelings about Elena, which I understand. But thankfully the Elena from last week and the Elena from this week are almost opposite creatures; Elena this week is laughing and joking and pretty much being hilarious, all while wearing this crazy bright pink lipstick. She also seems to work well with her client. Dmitry dryly notes that it’s the first time he’s ever seen her be nice to someone. The Dmitry-Elena dynamic is my favorite. I hope they make out in secret.

Alicia, meanwhile, is once again quietly drifting into the background, but this time while she quietly works, she’s creating a little pink dress. Yeah, a little pink dress–the complete opposite of what she normally makes. It’s unclear how exactly it will turn out, but it’s always great to see people pushing outside of their comfort zone, especially without whining incessantly about it.

After more workroom time which includes Ven making his client cry–I just…can’t–it’s runway time. If you’re suffering from Ven-induced-rage, take a deep breath and make yourself feel better by examining what a wonderful dress Heidi Klum is rocking today:

I always love watching these “real women” get to walk down the runway, because the ones who are feeling good about themselves know how to WORK. IT. Gunnar’s client is so happy that she is practically bouncing, sashaying her fine self all over that thang. It’s hard not to smile from ear to ear just looking at her, which is what all the judges are doing.

Our guest judge this week, by the way, is Alice Temperley, a British designer who’s wearing this flow-y flowery dress which accentuates her lovely face and wavy hair and who basically I just keep imagining as Florence Welch inside my head. 

The bottom three are revealed as Ven, Sonjia, and Nathan. During the critique of Nathan’s shiny blue dress, Heidi describes it as looking very “hoochie mama.” Alice Temperley is then part of the most hilarious exchange of the episode:

Heidi Klum: “A hoochie mama.”

Alice Temperley: “A what?”

Michael Kors, giggling a little: “Hoochie mama.”

Alice Temperley: “What does that mean?”

Michael Kors: “She–a tart.”

Alice Temperley: “Oh, yeah. Got lots of those in England.”

Perhaps you have to hear her say it herself in her perfectly British dismissive voice, but this made me laugh out loud for at least three minutes. Oh, Alice Temperley. Let’s see more of you sometime.

Back to Nathan, though. While his outfit is somewhat unfortunate, it’s also close to what his client wanted. She’s a pop/hip-hop singer who wants something sexy for the stage. So while I agree with what the judges say, it’s tough because she did sort of want hoochie mama.

Oh, and that little pink dress Alicia was making? Didn’t turn out too bad:

Way to make something you never normally make and make your client happy, Alicia. That’s what you need to make it on Project Runway. Once again, it lands her safely in the middle.

The top three end up being Dmitry, Fabio, and Gunnar, and all of the comments from the judges are especially positive this week. Fabio ends up being the winner, as he completely deserves. He took our dykey lady who hates girly things and made her this completely fabulous gray dress, which she loved.

I also love, love, love this dress. I want this dress! Although it’s hard to tell as the black blends in with the background, Fabio is also rocking a dress himself, and Michael Kors makes the amazing quip, “It took a boy in a dress to get you into a dress.” Hugs for everyone in this trio right now, including the nerdy boy who brought Ko-Rely into our lives.

So yay for the happy times! But now back to the sad, dark, dreary times. The hideous Ven times.  He doesn’t trash his model on the runway as much as he did to her face previously, but he did immediately make excuses about having to work with a “real woman.” To which Heidi replies, “I find it so amazing every time you guys say, ‘It’s the first time I’ve worked with a real woman.’ Like, who is not real?” Word, Heidi. Word.

Her friend who brought her to this whole thing also becomes teary on the runway, explaining that all she wanted was something good for her. She works full-time, has four kids, has to commute four hours a day every day, and never gets any time for herself. None of which Ven, of course, bothered to find out, since all he cared about was her size. 

I do have to say that with these challenges, even when the designers don’t know how to deal with their clients, the judges always do. They know how to critique the designs without trashing the models themselves, and Heidi apologizes to Ven’s model, placing all the blame on him, where it rightly deserves to be. Not only was he appallingly rude to her, he didn’t listen to her enough to even make what she wanted. 

In the end, it’s Nathan’s hoochie mama dress which was too much for the judges, and he has to go. This is sad, since Nathan seems like a genuinely good human being, in addition to making his client so much happier than Ven’s. As Tim Gunn says, in the way that Tim Gunn always says these things so well, we’re losing someone with “profound qualities of character.”

The judges threaten, however, that someone else could be eliminated as well, as they like to do sometimes to scare people.

My girl Sonjia is safe, thank the heavens. And it turns out Ven is, too. They clearly just wanted to have him on stage last so they could give him a little talking to, although it’s really a relatively mild talking to. When he gets back to the other room with the rest of the designers, they ask him what happened. He doesn’t really answer, but says that he doesn’t think he should have been the last one on stage, because there were some other “weak looks.”

Good plan, Ven! One by one, all the other designers have already said throughout this episode that they have lost complete respect for you. Even sweet Alicia, who visibly rolls her eyes and shakes her head in wonderment at this last comment from you. Way to continue to alienate your peers even further by insulting them and refusing to admit you ever did anything wrong! Bravo, sir.

In the previews for the next show, it appears that many of the ladies just happen to be having a very bad, no good day with this next challenge, and there are many, many tears. As if to seal the deal on this whole episode with Ven, we get to hear him say in reaction to this coincidental meltdown by females in this preview: “Men are usually stronger designers.” Ha! Ha! Shut up!

I could say even more about all the feelings I have about “real women” and the self-image issues this episode brought up in me, but I’ve already said too much. What did you think? 

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