“The Good Wife” recap (4.13): Partners and Prenups

Dearest Kings of The Good Wife: Listen, your child is still on the honor roll. Still one of the most well-written and smartest shows of all its peers. Still kicking out great episodes, four seasons in. We still love you. But. But. Can I ask you one little, tiny thing, as a lady loving lady? Have you forgotten about the most brilliant of all your creations? One by the name of Kalinda Sharma?

Because let’s do a quick recap of her appearances in your latest episode. She demands a raise from Will—or, rather, demands to have a raise that she was already promised. Which isn’t even really that overly assertive, just an acknowledgment of her rights. And she pores over some paperwork with Cary late one night, helping him find some hidden figures that help a case. Paperwork, so badass, right? And, well, that’s it.

Now, I know that her Horrible Husband story arc took up a lot of time earlier in the season, and that you only have so much time to deal with so many characters—the reality of your show which makes it so simultaneously frustrating and fascinating—but since Kalinda offed the husband, or maybe didn’t off the husband, or whatever, is that it for her for the season? I mean, she doesn’t have to be kickin’ ass and havin’ sex every single episode or anything—wait, nevermind, no, that would be awesome—but seriously, at least throw us a whiff of anything remotely interesting happening in her life or regarding her mental state. A mysterious scribble in her orange notebook. More drinks with Alicia. And I think there was someone in her life called Lana—or was it Donna? Elena? Hanna? Banana nana fo fanna? I don’t know, it’s been too long. Or maybe just assure us a little more that she actually is an essential part of Lockhart Gardner. Because from the latest few episodes, who knows!

Okay, okay. Now that I’ve gotten that out, we can move on. Because even though our Kalinda lives are feeling somewhat neglected and maybe a little bitter, there is so much righteous Alicia to be had. And I am still very good with that.

We begin this episode with the return of ChumHum guy, with what I believe is a flashback to an episode from earlier in the season, when there was lots of talk of algorithms and rich nerds being shady and stuff. In fact, I spent the first few minutes of the episode reassuring myself it wasn’t a rerun. But no, arrogant ChumHum guy is indeed back, and this time he’s getting married, and Lockhart Gardner are double checking the prenup negotiations for his fiancee.

Even the squirrel thinks I’m a jerk.

This plotline is basically boring and even a little irritating, if simply for the fact that girlfriend keeps being all, “I don’t care about any of these silly things like numbers and legal advice, I LOVE HIM!,” when it’s clear that this prenup deal is bad news. This love-erases-logic idea is reinforced by a few dreamy, “Well, she’s in love,” sympathies from Alicia. Right, love is great, but if it’s really love, and you’re both conscious of the fact that one of the two of you is the ninth richest man in America and sometimes shit happens, you should respect each other enough to know that it’s important that you both understand what your joint legal documents say, and that you care enough to make sure it’s fair. But hey, I’m just a silly girl who’s not a billionaire, so what do I know!

The one good thing about this story is that since it’s family law, we get to see resident Lockhart Gardner jackass David Lee. Anytime David Lee comes on the screen, a weird part of me yells, “HA! This guy! This guy is going to be such an asshole in the next hour! HA! I love this guy!” And then when he actually is an asshole, somehow the whole appeal drains out of my system a little and I just feel sort of sad and annoyed. But the next time he appears, the same cycle always repeats. I wish I knew how to quit you, David Lee.

I’m a weasel, and I come bearing M&Ms.

We then see Will and Diane inviting Alicia to lock the door of their office so the three of them can have Important Words, which end up being an invitation for Alicia to become an equity partner in the firm. And this makes Alicia so happy! Like, levels of pure joy that Alicia never, ever allows herself! Hide your face in your hands laughter happy! Radiant smiles happy! Remember this moment, friends!

I’d like to thank my cheating husband, my kids I think I have, and Kalinda.