“Chicago Fire” recap (1.18) “Hey bruiser”

Previously on Chicago Fire, Benny Severide arrived straight from his trip to New York where he shot a Senator, framed Peter Burke, and disappointed his son Neal. Wrong show? Right. OK, he popped in from his beautiful hobo camp to grill Shay about her sexual orientation, and stir up trouble at the fire fighter prom. Dawson and Mills made the decision to come out as a couple, Casey did his best Finn Hudson and told Mills to “treat her right,” and Shay decided the best way to get over her ex was to get under several hot ladies. No? Damnit. She decided that the only way to fill that Clarice and Wesley shaped hole was to fill it with some sperm.

We start the episode with Dawson standing alone along the side of the road holding two coffee cups. A black SUV pulls up and it’s the Chief. This scene reminds me of the time Arizona had to stand up the Chief Weber but kept crying. Dawson looks like she would like to vomit since all the normal rules of behavior our out the window when they aren’t on duty. She wishes she could scrub the conversation between Benny and Boden from her brain but instead she is stuck in a guilt spiral where she totally knows a secret about Mills’ mom and the Chief and it makes her feel awkward and itchy. She tells Boden that Peter is super interested in knowing what really happened with his dad so if the Chief could just clue him in that would be great.

The Chief lays the smack down by telling Dawson that while being dogged in her investigation is a huge asset as a paramedic it also makes her pretty insufferable the rest of the time so she should just knock it off. She should also dissuade Peter Mills from trying his hand at his best Jessica Fletcher impression. Dawson is worried that Benny is going to tell Peter what happened but the Chief stops her and tells her that Benny is no longer welcome at 51.

Benny’s making breakfast for Severide and tells him that despite being a giant pain in the ass he’s been offered a teaching post. Can you imagine this guy in the classroom? Anyway, he just needs to meddle one more time at 51 and then he and Severide can hang out like bros every couple of weeks when he stops hunting for Sasquatch and returns to civilization to impart knowledge and stock up on beer. Severide asks what’s up with Boden and his pop and Benny says this is their usual love-hate relationship and they’ll be breaking up and making up at least seven more times that week so don’t worry about it. In the meantime he’d like Severide to tell Boden that Benny will be stopping by around noon. Severide remains unconvinced but his dad promises he’ll be like a mute choir boy on his last visit. What could possibly go wrong?

The next scene is the crew fighting a restaurant fire. The owner comes up and tells Severide that he’s been getting threats from a union rep and that he thinks the fire was set on purpose. Meanwhile Casey and Cruz are inside checking the ceiling for hot spots when down comes the rain and washed the spider out. No? Sorry. Casey gets doused in what turns out to be gasoline and is on fire. He barely notices the heat since his loins always burn this hot for Severide. Cruz pounces and he and Casey crash through a window. Hands up everyone who wants to throw Casey from a window every week? Yeah, I thought so. Anyway, out they go, Casey’s pants on fire get put out and he and Cruz share a nice moment.

Casey is spoiling a perfectly good Shawson moment by getting himself checked over by Dawson in the ambulance. In the words of Olivia Wilde, put your fucking shirt back on. Seriously, hero-boy it’s not always about you. Fine, this time it is since he was actually on fire, but I’ve got my eye on you cock blocker extraordinaire. He’s all, “‘tis but a flesh wound.” Shay uses her superior lesbian fingers to find the hole — in his coat. Jeez, out of the gutter ladies and announces that “three more seconds and you would have been a toaster strudel.” Otis walks up and confirms that there were fire bombs in the ceiling. Fire bombs in this case are not the name of the signature drink over at Molly’s.

Severide talks to Boden about his Pop coming by the station to screw everything up and Boden is about as pleased as if Severide suggested a colonoscopy. Boden tells Severide that his dad is one of the guy who can’t do anything after retiring except tearing everything down. He says Benny’s got a story about how Mills’ dad died and that it’s untrue and Boden won’t let him come into the house and try to hurt Peter. Severide’s not really sure what’s going on between these two but calls his dad and tries to sell him on going to a different house.

Dawson saunters in to chat with Mills who is jabbering about how he buttered some lady up with baked goods and got her to send him the records of the fire that killed his dad. By lady I am pretty sure he means Ezra Fitz and baked good he means a bundt cake and a doe-eyed teenager with questionable fashion sense. Fitz has taken a break from being a terrible father to Rosemary’s baby long enough to send Mills all the documents he needs to drive himself entirely loopy. It turns out that not only did Henry Mills snuff it in the fire but another guy died too. That guy had a pregnant wife at home (who was, presumably, not schtupping Mills’ mom).

Everyone is hanging out in the common room waiting for something to happen (spoiler alert: Tino’s never going to show up). Shay asks what “ebullient” means and no one knows but Otis who is the resident smarty (except for Dawson who might be trying to go to medical school or that might be a plot line that got dropped). She says that one of the sperm donors used it to describe himself and Casey says “well you don’t want no sperm donor who is so interested in book learning.” Casey, repeat after me, help me, help you. Stop being a dolt. Why on Earth would anyone want a smart kid? They’re such a pain in the butt, with all the questions, the reading, the wanting to go to college.

Mouch wanders over and tells Shay he admires her “gumption” for feeling so free to peruse the gallery of contenders to be her man juice suppliers. She doesn’t see why it involves gumption or why she should have to hide her search since Herrmann posts ultrasound pictures every time he accidentally gets his wife pregnant. Not that I’m thrilled on the Shayby storyline but why not ask Herrmann, that dude’s sperm swims like freaking Michael Phelps. Mouch says he doesn’t think Shay needs to hide what she’s doing but he still admires her “gumption.” Call it hat you like, darling. We like her *ahem* gumption too.