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The Dateability Index: How Do Your Favorite Lesbian/Bi Characters Rate?

Did you know our brothers at AfterElton are now our brothers at The Backlot? Yep! New name, new design, same awesome content. In fact, just yesterday they posted a Dateability Index for many of the gay TV characters currently wooing them on the small screen. Of course that inspired us to do the same thing.

Below we have listed lots of your favorite current lesbian/bi characters and measured their dateability on a scale of one to five Emily Fitches.

The Gold Standard Anne, Go On

Pros: Whip-smart successful lawyer, loyal and empathetic friend, can rock a power suit, very fond of books and boobs.

Cons: Still working through grief over wife’s death, has no qualms about correcting your grammar.

Dateability Rating: 3.5 Emily Fitches – Take it slowly; she startles easily.

Betty McRae, Bomb Girls

Pros: Hard worker, natural leader, swagger for days, would kill a preacher for you or punch a bunch of layabouts in the face, likes her whiskey straight.

Cons: Speaking of straight, she’s kind of sort of maybe hung up on her best friend.

Dateability Rating: 4.5 Emily Fitches – When she commits, she commits. Woo her with strawberries.

Bo Dennis, Lost Girl

Pros: Melt-your-brain gorgeous, backs up her protective streak with kung fu skills, superheroic crime fighter.

Cons: Insatiable (no, really) sex drive, big time family baggage, almost always getting killed.

Dateability Rating: 2 Emily Fitches – It won’t be safe for your body or your heart, but your short-lived relationship will be sexy as hell.

Brittany S. Pierce, Glee

Pros: Like a puppy, she loves to cuddle and smile and dance and wrassle and nap and be adorable.

Cons: Like a puppy, the only thing she can remember is what’s right in front of her face.

Dateability Rating: 2 Emily Fitches – She’ll eat cereal off the floor if that’s how you want to play it, but try to be better than that.

Callie Torres, Grey’s Anatomy

Pros: Will stand by your side through thick and thin, will see you for who you really are and love you anyway.

Cons: 66.67 percent of the people she sleeps with die in horrible accidents, but usually only if they have penises.

Dateability Rating: 4 Emily Fitches – Make her swoon with a lingerie/pizza-in-bed date.

Alison DiLaurentis, Pretty Little Liars

Pros: She holds the power of time and space and life and death in the palm of her hands.

Cons: Is she into you or is she just fucking with you? You’ll never know! XOXO!

Dateability Rating: Zero Emily Fitches. She is the opposite of Emily Fitch.

Lauren Lewis, Lost Girl

Pros: A master of meeting medical needs, and emotional needs, and sexual needs.

Cons: Just when you think you know her, you find out something new. She was a doctor in the Congo, a soldier in Afghanistan, she keeps her comatose girlfriend in the cupboard under the stairs.

Dateability Rating: 3.5 Emily Fitches – She glows like a Veela in the late afternoon sunlight; guard your mind/heart appropriately.

Leslie Shay, Chicago Fire

Pros: Smart ass, life saver, doesn’t take shit from anyone.

Cons: Learned how to make a baby from The L Word pilot, apparently.

Dateability Rating: 2 Emily Fitches – She has stellar potential, but maybe just be her friend while she figures herself out.

Paige McCullers, Pretty Little Liars

Pros: Would ride her bike through a midnight thunderstorm to apologize to you, willing to extend limitless grace if you kiss the fake cousin of your dead ex-girlfriend and/or almost get her axe-murdered by said fake cousin, always on the lookout for the perfect cupcake.

Cons: White hot temper, occasional Lego man hair, has a field hockey penalty named after her.

Dateability Rating: 4.5 Emily Fitches – For your first date, try a karaoke bar, or a picnic, or a late night swim. McCullers is game for adventure.

Pamela Swynford De Beaufort, True Blood

Pros: Owns more leather than even Bo Dennis, fiercely loyal, can mix a mean drink.

Cons: Vampire superiority complex, charm can turn from sweet to lethal in a nanosecond.

Dateability Rating: 2 Emily Fitches – You’ll probably never know whether or not she terrifies you or turns you on beyond measure, because with Pam they’re indistinguishable emotions.

Santana Lopez, Glee

Pros: Once she’s in, she’s in all the way. Genius treasure hunter. Dance skills eclipsed only by angelic voice. Tells it like it is.

Cons: Doesn’t understand the concept of tactful confrontation, carries around a journal to compile her insults, secret razor blades in her hair.

Dateability Rating: 3.5 Emily Fitches – Treat her like the ferocious panther she thinks she is and she’ll reveal her true kitten nature to you.

Kalinda Sharma, The Good Wife

Pros: Successful, savvy, knows exactly what she wants and is unafraid to pursue it.

Cons: Knows literally all of your business, even your secret fanfiction writing career.

Dateability Rating: 3 Emily Fitches – Just don’t cross her, OK?

Tara Thornton, True Blood

Pros: A survivor in a dozen ways, the smartest person in town, lifelong friend material.

Cons: Cynical and blunt, newborn vampire tendencies.

Dateability Rating: 3 Emily Fitches – 4 if you’re thick-skinned (literally and metaphorically).

Arizona Robbins, Grey’s Anatomy

Pros: Wears wheely shoes for grown-ups, dearly loves to laugh, life-saver, heart-mender.

Cons: Holds a grudge even if you only chop of one of her major appendages.

Dateability Rating: 4.5 Emily Fitches – Times may get tough, but she’ll always get back up.

Emily Fields, Pretty Little Liars

Pros: Looks like Shay Mitchell, accomplished athlete, master sleuth, sweet, sexy, all the free coffee you can drink, owner of a BEAUTIFUL TOYOTA.

Cons: You’ll die, of course.

Dateability Rating: 1 Emily Fitch – Her time-traveling sociopathic robot ninja problems are your time-traveling sociopathic robot ninja problems. Also, her indestructible first girlfriend will throw a firecracker at your face for looking at her lustily.

So, after examining and completely disregarding this scientific advice, who do you think is the most datable lesbian/bi character on TV right now?

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