ArchiveRecapsTV

“The Fosters” recap (1.07): “Hey, Jude!”

Previously on The Fosters, Brandon had an audition for the Pittsburgh Ballet and stumbled on his first pass, and his second. Thank goodness Mike was able to hum a few bars of “What a Feeling” and Brandon got another chance to impress Mr. Feeney. Wyatt had some big feelings about having the bank take his childhood home so he threw a party to process his feelings and destroy property. Callie tried to talk him down, escorted drunk Mariana home, and ran into the very creepy, and menacing Liam. Meanwhile, Stef and her dad had a lovely chat about how he sent her to a minister as a teen because she liked Beyonce too much. Daddy dearest dropped in while Stef and Lena had Lexi’s religious parents over for dinner. The Riveras turned out to be Catholics who are down with the gays but not so much with boys and girls being in the same room unsupervised. Everything was going reasonably well until Mariana came home and spilled the beans about Jesus and Lexi having all the sex. Let’s see how the Riveras feel about the morning after pill, shall we?

All right folks, pull out your social issues BINGO cards and get ready to play. This episode is lousy with issues and you want to be able to keep track. We start not in the Foster-Adams kitchen of light and pancakes but upstairs where Jesus and Mariana are sniping at each other. Jesus is pissed that Mariana got so jealous that he was the one boning Lexi that she told Catholic Headquarters and he got his pass to Lexi’s pants revoked. Stef, looking like the Greek goddess of quips and swagger – just out of the shower, the girls almost saying good morning from under her robe – looks and listens as the twins act like siblings for once. When Jesus storms out Stef tells Mariana that the truth sucks and the fact is she brought all of this on herself by getting drunk and outing Jesus and Lexi. Mariana puts her thumb in her mouth and says “Mommy! You always did love Richard best.” Stef tells Mariana that they love her more than anything but that they don’t love her behavior.

Lena saunters onto the porch with Callie and they sit down to talk about Callie’s therapy sessions. Lena tries to remind Callie that participation is half of Callie’s grade but Callie ask if she can transfer out. Lena says of course she can work on it but in the meantime Callie will have to keep going because it’s part of her probation. She slouches her best slouch and agrees before walking into the kitchen. Ross is there eating his corn flakes and giving Callie the cold shoulder because he thinks she took his sister to a party and got her drunk. Anne with an E tells him that Diana Barry is the one who wanted to go to the party and Diana is the one who drank the wine three tumblers full at a time so maybe he ought to get his facts straight.

Ana and Mariana are at the beach and Ana is singing Mariana a song she used to love when she was a kid. Ana has been clean for a week, which is great, but then she asks Mariana for money to help her get into a rehab program. Does no one on this show watch Friday Night Lights? Ana asks Mariana to just look around the house for something to steal that she can sell to get the money. Mariana balks and then Ana says “but we’re family and family takes care of family” OK, Peter Pettigrew, go ahead and use any emotional blackmail you can think of to twist Mariana’s arm but it’s not going to help your ranking in the running to become the worst. (Mark you BINGO card if you have drug addiction or parents being the worst).

Anchors Aweigh Charter School for the nautically inclined nerd. Callie and Wyatt chat by her locker and Wyatt wins me over with this scene. He’s trying to figure out what’s going on with Callie while staying inside of the boundaries of their flirty and fun relationship. So he asks questions about why Callie made her instagram private. When she dodges with a half-assed answer, he shrugs it off and presses again, mentioning that he saw Liam’s creepy message about building a treehouse of horror outside Callie’s bedroom window. When she tries to brush it off, he presses again and she tries to parry with a crack about Wyatt wanting to date Liam. He’s undeterred. Wyatt Hair Model, you have redeemed yourself. Finally Callie just kisses the lug and walks away.

Meanwhile Mr. Twitchy himself, Jesus, is standing by the entrance to the school hoping to catch a glimpse of Lexi. Instead he gets Kelsey who waltzes in with a backpack fit for carrying supplies up Everest and a cardigan/blouse combo that would have passed inspection by Miss Cuthbert, the Rockford Peaches chaperone. She tells him to get to class before he gets anyone else pregnant. I kind of love Kelsey. She is a mess and I dig it.

Jude is sitting in class and the teacher announces that the project she is assigning is big enough that everyone should work on it with a partner. Thus begins the panicked moment when everyone rushes to find either their best friend or the Hermione of the class to help with the project. Jude sits and looks around until Connor asks if Jude has a partner yet. Jude smiles and says no and his tiny little face screams “HOORAY” and my little seventh grade gay heart screams for him. Connor asks if he can come over because his mom says other kids give her a migraine. Girl, I hear you. Jude quickly says yes and then tells Connor he actually has to check because he’s the kind of unicorn teenager who thinks of other people. His face is the cutest thing and I just hope this sweet boy doesn’t break his little heart.

Jesus is riding his skateboard down the sidewalk to the blue door in Notting Hill and I am shocked when it’s not Hugh Grant standing on the other side when he knocks. She leaps at him and starts making out with his face. Her parents can barely look at her and he wants to know if it’s why she hasn’t been in school.

Oh, but know who is in school? The Riveras and they look madder than Luke Cafferty’s mom. Watch Friday Night Lights, people. Just have it on in the background, you know? Anyway, Lena slides into her office where the lady we haven’t seen since the day Lena changed Jude’s test is waiting. The Riveras are pulling Lexi out of this brothel of a charter school and sending her to Texas for boarding school because when she inevitably had sex again she will have to carry the kid to term because, you know, Texas: where every life is precious until it’s born. Principal lady says that the Riveras think that Lena gave Lexi the morning after pill and Lena considers talking about grey areas but instead shuts up. Outside Jesus shows up to yell at Mariana some more and while I think she sucks in a lot of ways she is not the one who had unprotected sex with Lexi in the first place (much as she may wish she had).

Callie is standing waiting for Wyatt when Brandon walks by and asks if she’d like to walk home with him. When she says no, that she’s waiting to get tips on hair care from Wyatt, Brandon wanders off. Once he walks away a green Jeep Wrangler screeches to a halt and Liam hops out and starts screaming at Callie. He’s huge and he looks even more menacing next to Callie who, for all her swagger and attitude is, in fact, a tiny human. He wants to know what she told Wyatt who apparently sent Liam a threat online. Callie tries to walk away but he grabs her arm and screams in her ear to leave him alone and to stay away from Sarah.

Then, like the Flying Tomato meets Landry Clarke, Wyatt comes out of nowhere and tackles Liam. They scuffle on the ground until Brandon comes and pulls Wyatt off of Liam. When Liam tries to run at Wyatt, Callie throws herself in the middle and tells Liam to get out of there. Once Liam hops in his car and speeds away, Callie tells Wyatt that he should have stayed out of it. He’s confused and she won’t look at him. He walks off in a huff and Brandon quietly walks up and stands beside Callie, like he’s trying not to spook her.

Callie and Brandon walk down the sidewalk, the ocean crashing beside them. They stroll, and the conversation matches their pace. Brandon asks what just happened and once Callie reveals that the guy was Liam, Brandon starts putting the pieces together. He thought Liam was their age, not 21. Once he starts doing the math of what it means for a thirteen or fourteen year old to be with her nineteen year old foster brother, the picture clears. He tells her that what Liam did wasn’t okay and she sort of nods along, and then says that the real problem is Sarah, the girl that lives with Liam’s family now, is even younger and she’s pretty sure he’s doing to her what he did to Callie.

Stef and Lena are in the kitchen and Lena is mad that her job is on the line because Stef gave Lexi the morning after pill and Stef is pissed that she can’t make all the groceries from Costco fit in their mammoth fridge. “Sure, honey, I know you could lose your job but would you just help me with this eighteen dozen eggs I bought?” Stef, you need to learn to say the words “I’m sorry” and put some actual feeling behind them because we love you but we do not love your behavior right now.

Jude walks in and immediately thinks better of it. Lena says come on in, we’ve been having this same fight for a week or more. There are five kids in this house, you think we don’t know how to pick up where we left off whenever we’re done getting someone a snack, signing a permission slip, or telling you to clean up your shit? Please, we’re moms, this is what we do. He asks if he can have a friend over for a school project and Lena’s says sure anything for school. He lights up with a smile that would warm the grinchiest of hearts. Kid, milk this while you got it. As long as they think you are a social pariah they will let you have any person you want in your room, they’re just happy you have a friend. As soon as Jude leaves the room Stef and Lena pick the fight right back up where they left it before putting it right back down when it’s time to cook dinner.

Later that night in the bedroom where they hold hands, Lena is taking her residual anger out on some throw pillows while Stef is brushing her teeth. Stef tries to lighten the mood by saying that it’s bad to go to bed angry. Lena’s not taking the bait. She says she has to sleep sometime. She flops onto the bed and Stef says good night. Fight time-out in effect until the morning, although I imagine Lena might kick a bit in the night, accidentally of course. Meanwhile, Mariana is sleeping the sound sleep of someone without a conscious and Callie is staring at the ceiling.

Early the next morning Stef is sipping coffee in her pajamas when the doorbell rings. It’s the Riveras making a housecall. It seems Lexi has run away and they thought she would be at the lesbian palace of underage sexual freedom. Stef calls Lena down and she crosses her arms as you do when you’re caught bra-less in your pajamas on a Saturday morning. They question Jesus and he tells them he doesn’t know anything. Papa Ramirez stares at Jesus and then when they send him away he says, “He knows something. He knows something about my precious.” Stef nearly laughs in his face and says, “Oh, unlike Mariana, Jesus is a terrible liar.” Speak of the devil, Mariana comes in and gives a whole song and dance about how much Lexi hates her and would never get in touch. Ana texts Mariana asking when she’s going to get her delivery of stolen merchandise and the Riveras look hopeful that the message is from Lexi. No dice. Stef suggests they track Lexi’s cell phone but the Riveras say they took the cell phone away and now we’re back at square one. They refuse Stef’s suggestion that they file a police report so instead Stef and Ernie go searching and Sonia and Lena stay home and call everyone in the school.

Callie is playing her guitar when Brandon walks in. She admits she didn’t sleep much the night before and he suggests they call Bill. She explains that if she does it will just be her word against Liam’s and that it will go on her record. She risks being labelled as “sexually volatile” and it could mean she ends up in a group home. He is as incredulous as any kid who has been raised in a stable home environment. He says it’s crazy and she says that it’s just how the system works. (Mark your BINGO card at home if you’re playing along).

Mariana is looking as sketchy as possible, shoving Black family artifacts into her bag and trying to disparate out of Grimmauld Place as quickly as possible. Jesus says hi to her and she tells him to spare her another lecture about what a terrible person she is before zipping out the door dragging her heirlooms behind her.

Stef and Ernie are driving around in Stef’s giant car. Ernie says that he doesn’t want to send Lexi away but that boarding school in Texas was the compromise he and his wife came to. She wanted to send Lexi to Honduras to live with an aunt but that sort of defeats the whole reason Ernie and Sonia left in the first place. Back at the Foster-Adams’ the phone banks are working and volunteers are standing by to take your pledges. Lena tries to comfort Sonia and they launch into a stirring debate about safe sex and whether or not it encourages kids to have sex. (Mark your BINGO card now). Thankfully in the middle of it, the doorbell rings and it’s Connor. He pops in and brings with him the sweet bliss of a teenager only worrying about winning soccer games and making DNA models with his bud from school. Lena revels in Connor saying “Hey Jude” and Jude rolls his eyes and says something about The Beatles being for “old people.” I forgive him, but only because he’s like Yoda meets Jiminy Cricket and combed his hair for his playdate and couldn’t be any cuter.

Mariana is outside the Shrieking Shack. She walks in calling out “Hello, it’s Mariana” and – surprise – it’s Lexi holed up in Wyatt’s foreclosed home of teenage art and destruction. They have a heart to heart about how the Riveras are worried about Lexi but they don’t suspect Mariana knows anything because she and Lexi weren’t speaking. Mariana tells Lexi about meeting with Ana and Mariana at least seems to recognize Ana’s attempts at emotional manipulation, although we’ll see how that ends up.

Back in Jude’s room Connor is quizzing Jude about his favorite player on the Chargers until Jude confesses that the jersey, and the skateboards, and 99 percent of everything in the room belongs to Jesus. Connor asks where Jude’s stuff is and Jude points to a backpack and says when you move around all the time things get broken or lost or stolen. Connor offers that people have too much stuff anyway and then talks about some kid who is always talking about his new stuff. Jude won’t join in bashing the kid and Connor asks why Jude never speaks poorly of anyone, not even the bullies. Jude asks “What’s the point?” Lexi mariana

Back at the house of debauchery and delinquency, Mariana is taking some pictures of Lexi and enjoying it a little more than casual friend pictures. Afterward Mariana says “Oh, I better erase these from my phone so no one accidentally sees them and figures out that I’m in love with you.” “You mean that I’m staying at Wyatt’s?” Lexi responds. “Yeah, sure, let’s go with that one.” Finally, she asks Lexi to describe what it’s like to have sex. Lexi gets a little carried away which grosses Mariana out. She doesn’t want to hear about her brother’s skills in the sack. No, she’s more interested in what it’s like to have sex with Lexi.

Jude and Connor are building their model and Jude shows Connor a pocket knife that belonged to his dad. When Connor asks about Jude’s dad, Jude spins an elaborate tale about how his dad is in jail or on an island or Bernie Madoff. Connor asks why Jude is lying and Jude apologizes. Connor tells him “You don’t have to lie” and I only hope he means about anything because I think Jude has a crush on his buddy.

Stef and Ernie are back and Stef is imploring the Riveras to go to the police. The Riveras admit that they haven’t gone to the cops because they are undocumented. (Mark your BINGO cards.) Jesus overhears the whole conversation. Jesus is waiting on the porch when Mariana comes home. When he tells her about the police report they rush off to find Lexi. They tell her that she has to go back with them and that she’s undocumented just like her parents and if the cops get involved things could go sideways.

Outside the therapy session Callie ambushes Sarah to talk about Liam and Sarah freaks out and runs away. Later, inside the therapy session Callie decides to share for the first time. She talks about how Liam started to be nice to her by leaving her candy bars in her bag and how he would secretly hold her hand when they watched movies at home. He used to tell her she was special and when the therapist chimes in that she is special, Callie acknowledges her but says she “wasn’t special to him,” while she stares at Sarah. She’s delivering a speech to Sarah, like none of the other people are there. Sarah can’t take it and runs out of the room. Callie follows her and Sarah tells her that Liam warned her about Callie trying to do something like this. Callie says they can go in together and say what happened but Sarah wants no part of it. She’s worried about it going on her record and tells Callie that if she says anything it will only end up coming back to hurt her.

Brandon tells Callie that she tried and that it’s now on Sarah, that it’s her choice. Callie says no, it’s not Sarah’s choice, just like it wasn’t her choice when Liam came into her room and forced her to have sex with him. Callie says she used to think that it was her fault but that it wasn’t. I’m sad that there is so much craziness happening in this episode because I think some of the nutty takes away from this storyline and that’s a shame. Maia Mitchell makes this show go. If she were a lesser actress these stories wouldn’t work. Instead she’s subtle and complex and able to more than pull off the conflicting emotions at work in all of these scenes. Callie has been all about self-preservation (and Jude preservation) but watching her find a way, in a home where her need for safety is taken care of, to go beyond that and to protect this other girl is pretty marvelous to watch. She’s got layers, that Callie, and I enjoy watching her peel the onion each week.

Back in the kitchen, Stef is trying to convince the Riveras that the cops won’t care about their immigration status and will just focus on finding Lexi. They look at her like she’s never met Dolores Umbridge and don’t know about hiding their blood status. Fortunately, Jesus and Mariana have Lexi with them and no one has to worry, for now. Lexi says she only came back because she knows they are all undocumented but if they try to send her to boarding school she’ll call immigration. Jude walks into this tense moment to say Connor’s mom is here to pick him up and that he’ll walk Connor to the door. Jude is a gentleman, folks. Before he leaves Connor gives Jude his video game player. I don’t care if you ship these two as friends or as boyfriends, they are adorable. So far Connor has shown himself to be a thoughtful, sensitive friend, and if he’s not interested in Jude as anything but a friend I hope he’ll remain his gentle, sensitive self and not hurt our little Jude too much.

Mariana and Jesus have a nice moment about Lexi and they are back to being on friendly terms, for now. The touching moment is broken up by a text from Ana asking where her money for rehab is. This can’t be good.

Finally, Stef and Lena are relaxing on the couch after a ridiculous day filled with seventeen kinds of drama. They both look ready to do the backstroke in a vat of wine when Callie and Brandon walk in. Brandon starts to leave and Callie tells him he can stay as she starts to tell Stef and Lena about Liam.

This episode was wall-to-wall issues, what did you think?

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button