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“Once Upon A Time” recap (3.01): Do You Believe In Magic?

Previously on Once Upon A Time, Emma and Regina did magic together and saved the world, saying “we” more than ever. While they were getting lost in each others’ eyes, Henry got kidnapped. Then, half the town hopped on the Jolly Roger and set sail for Neverland, because Tamara and Stranger Greg have taken Henry to Peter Pan, and apparently, Peter is not the friendly storytelling dreamer we once knew.

We open eleven years ago at 8:15 (of course); Emma is ankle-cuffed to a hospital bed as she gives birth to a screaming baby boy. Emma doesn’t want to be a mother, so she makes the doctors take the baby away, wanting nothing to do with it.

Flash forward to present day, where Emma is swinging from the ropes of a pirate ship, traveling through time and space to save aforementioned child. She, along with her ragtag crew of storybook characters, are on their way to Neverland. Already in Neverland are Tamara and Stranger Greg, with kidnapped Henry in tow. Henry is not worried about his safety, though. He’s pretty adamant that his moms (both of them!) will save him. He starts throwing shade at Tamara and Stranger Greg, since they are blindly following instructions to destroy magic, starting with the hub, Neverland. Through Henry’s incessant nagging and the fact that their communicator was actually a toy, they’re slowly realizing that they maybe should have rethought their “ask no questions” policy.

On the Jolly Roger, Regina sidles up to Hook and is all, “Can you believe we’re on a boat with this lot?” Hook cannot believe it, since he spent a large number of years doing exactly the opposite of heading toward Neverland with Rumplestiltskin on board as a passenger. Regina tells Hook that once Stranger Greg called her a villain and said that villains don’t get happy endings. Hook says he sure hopes that’s not true, because if it is, what was it all for? It was a pretty deep mostly-reformed-bad-guy moment. Snow and Charming approach their daughter, and try to comfort her, and tell her that all this isn’t her fault. She looks them square in the eye and says, “Duh.” She tells them it’s all THEIR fault. She doesn’t think their fairytale optimism has a place in the real world. She also tells them that, while she appreciates the effort, it’s a little weird being scolded and coddled by people her own age.

Rumplestiltskin interrupts this family meeting by emerging in an outfit that makes him look more like a crocodile than ever. He has decided to take it upon himself to save Henry, because Emma doesn’t believe. She argues that she did fight a dragon once, what’s to believe, and he says that’s exactly it. She only believes in the things that are shoved in her face. Heck, she didn’t even see August turning to wood right before her eyes at first. She has never taken a leap of faith, and she’ll never survive in Neverland with a shoddy belief system like that. Plus, she’d starve at all of Rufio’s dinner parties.

When the Evil & Annoying Duo finally find their “home office,” they are dismayed to find that it’s just a bunch of Lost Boys. Stranger Greg and Tamara were lied to, the plan was never to destroy magic after all. Before they can argue, the Shadowman swoops in and rips Stranger Greg’s shadow right out of his body. I’m assuming Tamara didn’t even have a soul or shadow to steal, because Shadowman just lets an arrow get her. Henry scampers into the forest, unscathed.

Someone grabs Henry off the path and hides him while the Lost Boys rush past. He says he’s an Ex-Lost Boy, and that he’ll help Henry get away. He says that he stole some pixie dust to try to escape, but it didn’t work, and now they’re after him, too.

Out at sea, Emma is doing pull-ups to stave off sexual frustration stay in shape. Hook comes in and can’t help a smarmy remark or two, and I honestly I can’t even fault him this time. He gives Emma a sword that used to be Baelfire’s and they take a shot in his memory. (Which is how I would like to be remembered, take note.)

However, they might have been pouring one out a little preemptively. Cut to the Enchanted Forest, where Neal awakens to see Mulan and Aurora standing over him. (Prince Wren is there, too.) Mulan, quick as a whip, recognizes his clothes to be the same as Emma’s and Neal perks up at the mention of her name. Aurora works out that he must be Henry’s father and is delighted at the opportunity to be useful again. She offers to go through the fiery expanses of the sleeping curse world to deliver any message whatsoever that he could dream up. He basically says, “Tell her I say hi.” Meanwhile, the good ship lollipop has hit some troubled waters. They see something lurking beneath the surface. Is it a whale? Is it a kraken? No, it’s mermaids! They look more scared than excited. I look excited.

Hook screams out that mermaids are unpleasant, so they surround the boat. Then Charming shouts that they’re just a bunch of fish, so they start rocking it. Seriously, guys, if you had just sang a reprise of “Part of Your World,” I’m pretty sure this all would have worked out fine.

Instead of singing, Charming starts shooting canons, and Emma and Snow throw a net overboard. Regina gets bored with their mortal ways and starts shooting fireballs out of her hands. Within seconds, she has eliminated them all, with the exception of the one Emma and Snow have caught in their net.

Mulan asks Neal a bit about Storybrooke, since he grew up in the Enchanted Forest but then was sent to the Real World. He tells her how they’re all just stories in that world, and that they made a movie about her. Before he can break into “I’ll Make A Man Out of You,” she asks him what a movie is. He decides that’s a lesson for another day and asks to be taken to his father’s castle. To Rumplestiltskin’s castle.

Speak of the Dark One, he has just arrived in Neverland to find Tamara writhing around on the ground. Like most bad guys, she didn’t die with the first shot. He heals her enough for her to point in the direction Henry ran off before ripping out her heart and squeezing it to dust. So long, Tamara. I’ll miss your face, but not your evil, anti-magic ways. In a hilarious five-way fight, the crew of the Jolly Roger try to decide what to do with the mermaid. Someone wants it gone, someone wants to use her as a hostage, someone just want to kill her. All of these things are being yelled with amazing fish jokes slotted in at random. The mermaid interrupts by blowing into a conch shell. She tells them that it was a warning, with a haughtiness a fish out of water has no right to express.

This sets them off and their fight escalates, Snow screaming about fish brutality, until finally Regina takes matters into her own hands and turns the mermaid into wood. She seemed certain that this would end the storm, but all it did was create a giant tidal wave. The tidal wave did nothing to quell the fighting, however. Snow demands that Regina turn the mermaid back, and Regina literally sasses Snow by saying she’ll surely “”win her over with your rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers.” Well, that was the last straw. No one insults Snow White’s unicorn stickers.

In a rainbow rage, Snow punches Regina right in the face. Regina punches her right back. Charming goes to join in, but Hook tries to pull him back, causing THEM to engage in fisticuffs. Emma suddenly realizes that it’s not the mermaids, but their fighting that’s causing the storm. She then does what I wish I could do every time I’m near people I care about fighting and dives head-first into the ocean. A leap of faith, if you will. In the Enchanted Forest, Neal and his new friends (our old friends) arrive at the castle to find Robin Hood there. He had been using the abandoned castle to rest up after his head transplant surgery, but quickly backs down when Neal admits to being Baelfire. Neal picks up a walking stick and swooshes it around a bit, causing a cupboard to appear in the wall.

Back in Neverland, Henry and Ex-Lost Boy are cornered, but Henry grabs the pixie dust and says they’re going to fly. The Ex-Lost Boy reminds him that it doesn’t work, but Henry insists that he believes enough for the both of them. Sure enough, the stuff kicks in mid-air and they fly away just in time.

On the Jolly Roger, Regina says that she can’t pull Idiot Emma out of the ocean with magic because of the storm, she’d bring up too much water with her. Charming decides to save her the old-fashioned way. He ties a rope around his waist and jumps in. They all work together to pull Charming and Emma out of the ocean, and as Emma coughs up a lungful of water onto the ship’s deck, the storm clears.

In the forests of Neverland, Rumple is skipping along in search of Henry when the extra-sinister Head Lost Boy greets him. He gives him a series of messages from Peter Pan, all as threatening as the scar on his face. Rumple isn’t frightened, he’s certain he won’t survive this, but he intends on bringing as many people down with him when he goes. The Head Lost Boy starts to leave, but before Rumple can pat himself on the back for besting an angsty teenager, a small homemade doll lands at his feat. The Head Lost Boy points out how funny it is how things from our past can affect us so deeply before sneering and leaving Rumple in a sorry heap.

In Rumplestiltskin’s castle, Neal opens the newly revealed cupboard and it’s full of trinkets, not unlike Gold’s shop. He tries to get a crystal ball to work, but he can’t until Mulan tells him to think with his heart and not his brain. When he does as she says, Emma’s image appears in the orb. He gasps, because somehow he can differentiate between the trees of Maine and the trees of Neverland and knows she’s not in Storybrooke anymore.

Our shipwrecked crew rows up onto the shores of Neverland and Emma turns to face her motley crew. She tells them that they need to all put on their grown-up pants and believe in each other. “You want to be…friends?” Regina asks, a hopeful glint in her eyes. Emma says she doesn’t expect that much, just cooperation. She says they all have skills that can help, hero, villain, and pirate alike. Idiots, too. Regina, feeling a little burned by the friendship rejection, asks, “What’s your skill, Savior?”

A fire lights behind Emma’s eyes and she’s like, “I’m a mother, and I’m your mother-effing leader now. So man up, line up, and shut up. And call me Khaleesi while you’re at it.” Not too far above their heads, the Ex-Lost Boy and Henry are flying around and drop down into the forest. Henry is all proud of himself. “See? All it takes is faith and trust–” But the boy interrupts him. He knows the saying. It’s his saying. This boy has been Peter Pan all along. A darkness creeps over his pixie-face and he says that he seeks the heart of the truest believer, and little Henry has proven to be just that. He cries out for his Lost Boys (though sadly doesn’t rooster-crow for them) and once again Henry finds himself in a heap of trouble.

What did you think of “Heart of the Truest Believer”? What are you looking forward to seeing in Season 3?

Here are some of our favorite #SwanQueen tweets from this week:

Mulan is totally talking about her fear to confront her feelings for Aurora. #SwanQueen

– Chen Drachman (@shokoshik) September 30, 2013

And just for kicks and giggles, here’s a picture of Jennifer Morrison and Lana Parrilla from the Season 3 premiere party last night, where the cast was live-tweeting.

(Note: This account isn’t verified, so I can’t 100% guarantee it really was Jen calling them SwanQueen, but either way, it’s a lovely picture of the two of them.)

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