Previously on Once Upon A Time, Henry got kidnapped by Peter Pan, who gave Emma a Marauder’s Map and Charming a fatal wound, and now half of Storybrooke is in Neverland trying to save him.
We begin with the Storybrooke Adventurers trekking through the dark, forbidden forests of Neverland and checking the map to see how they’ve done. Emma made the mistake of treating it like a regular map and didn’t look at it nearly enough or she would have noticed little footprints reading “Peter Pan” moving camp from one side of the forest to the other.
Speaking of Pan, he wakes Henry up by cawing at him and offering him an apple. Henry looks at the apple as if it were a grenade and refuses, saying it’s a family thing. Peter Pan tells him to get up, it’s time for target practice. His face is so impish and mischievous; it’s very unsettling.
Meanwhile, in the Enchanted Forest, Neal is digging through Rumplestiltskin’s cupboard again, looking for something that will create a portal – a bean, ruby slippers, anything. Little John bursts in, but Robin Hood tells him to stand down. When they realize they’re safe, the cutest little boy in the history of little boys comes bounding into Robin Hood’s arms. Neal smiles creepily at the child and says he knows how to get to Neverland.
In the forests of Neverland, they’re still not letting Regina use magic and she’s still really pissed about it. Hook says that there used to be a fairy on the island that he got on with alright or at least has some pixie dust they could use – which is what Charming describes as “nuclear fairy dust.” Emma, in one of her very Emma moments, realizes they’re talking about Tinkerbell. A flash of fear comes over Regina’s face and she says she isn’t sure it’s the best idea. Flash back to the Enchanted Forest, Regina is newly queen and her husband and stepdaughter are always off on adventures. Rumple shows up because she hadn’t shown up to her magic lessons and notices that she’s eating Roast Swan. Which is hilarious to us and to Rumple, but Regina is just confused. Gorgeous, but confused. Rumple gets back to his point and says, using vaguely sexual metaphor, that now that she has started practicing dark magic, she can’t quit. Regina says he needs to GTFO and when he leaves, she storms out onto the balcony in a rage. Unfortunately, she raged too hard, and went flying off the banister. Before she hit the ground, however, she found herself actually flying with the help of a little green fairy. The fairy eases her back to safety and introduces herself as Tinkerbell. Regina and Tinkerbell go out for a drink and Regina tells her new friend all her problems. Regina admits she feels like the Queen of Nothing (except our hearts) and Tink says, “No wonder you jumped.” Regina insists she didn’t, though she had good reason to. This sparks something in Tinkerbell’s eyes and she says that she can use pixie dust to help Regina find love again, find her happy ending, if she just believes in her.
Not exactly living out her happy ending is Regina, in the present-day forests of Neverland. She dabs some gleam off her forehead and drops her hanky, which a mess of green and blonde scoops up like a psycho ex-lover. Regina catches up to Emma and pulls her aside. She then starts whispering huskily about how her magic might be unsafe, but that together, they might be stronger than Peter Pan. Just the two of them. Making magic. Together. Emma looks tempted, but says she doesn’t want to risk it. If they both get killed, no one will save Henry. Mary Margaret and David would make out until they died of oxygen deficiency and Hook would drink himself blind from sheer boredom. Regina acquiesces and the trek continues.
In Camp Lost Boy, Peter Pan gives Henry a poison-tipped arrow and puts an apple on Felix-the-Scary-Lost-Boy and tells him to shoot. Henry turns at the last minute to shoot Pan but literally everyone saw that coming, so Pan catches it and laughs it off, the Lost Boys whooping behind him.
Also having secret one-on-one time are Hook and Charming. Hook had seen him get nicked by an arrow and asks him to take off his shirt show him his wound. Hook gives him days, maybe weeks, and says he should PROBABLY tell Snow. Charming has another plan (because his plans always go so well) and hopes to use the pixie dust to heal himself, once they find Tinkerbell.
Flash back to Tinkerbell promising the pixie dust will help Regina and flitting off to a colorful flower village. There she meets a none-too-happy Blue Fairy. She scolds Tink for being late, breaking rules, and for getting “big for no reason.” Tinkerbell doesn’t care, she’s adorably excited that she found someone to help, someone in desperate need of happiness. Blue doesn’t see it that way. She says Regina is beyond help. Tinkerbell argues that this makes her all the more worthy of pixie dust, but Blue says this discussion is over.
In the Neverland Forest, Regina is still saying that she really shouldn’t be there when they ask Tinkerbell for help, and Emma asks if she stole her halo. Hilariously, Regina didn’t get the humor and reminded Emma that Tink wasn’t an angel. Regina tells Emma that she and Tinkerbell have a “complicated history” because it’s always awkward talking about your ex with your current love. Regina says if Operation Henry stands a chance, they’ll go on without her. Emma’s heart grows three sizes and she says that’s what Henry would have called it. Regina hangs her head and says Henry would have thought of something better. Emma’s voice loses all its snark and she asks again, “What did you do to her?” Regina replies, “What I always do.”
After Emma leaves, Tinkerbell emerges from the brush and says “complicated history” isn’t exactly how she’d put it. She is bedraggled, with eyes as wild as her hair, and she blows pink powder in Regina’s face, causing her to collapse to the ground. When Regina comes to, she’s tied up and alone with Tinkerbell. Tink is FURIOUS. She threw her life away for Regina, and Regina blew her off. Flash back to Fairytale Land, where Regina lets Tinkerbell lead her, using stolen pixie dust, to her true love. Tinkerbell leaves her to her fate, but Regina never makes it all the way to the man with the lion tattoo. The next day, when Tinkerbell goes to hear all about Regina’s true love’s kiss, Regina insists the pixie dust didn’t work, and that Tink is a terrible fairy. Regina says she’s not afraid of anything and she doesn’t have any friends and that Tinkerbell should just leave. When Tink does leave, the Blue Fairy confronted her and said that she had blown her last shot. Blue tells Tinkerbell she doesn’t believe in her anymore and the poor green fairy’s wings disappear.
Now, Regina stands before her, knowing Tink has no magic. Regina rips out her own heart and hands it to Tinkerbell. Tink once again demands an explanation. Regina admits that she had lied, that the pixie dust did work, but that she HAD been afraid. She had chosen revenge over hope, and it has blackened her heart. She tells Tinkerbell that the choice is hers, that she can pick hope over anger, she can help save her son. Meanwhile, her son is sitting in Peter Pan’s camp, where Pan himself is telling Henry that magic is dying, and that he’s the key to saving it. He’s the spawn of the darkest dark and the lightest light and Pan gives him a piece of parchment that will prove it. Henry tosses the parchment down without looking and Pan says Henry reminds him of his father.
In Rumplestiltskin’s castle, Neal is using major guilt cards to convince Robin Hood to let him use his son somehow to get to Neverland. Robin Hood is reluctant, but from one father to another, understands Neal’s desperation. Mulan makes a plan and knows it’s a good one, because she’s Mulan and all her plans are good. While they’re setting up, Neal is rambling in his excitement and tells Mulan that if you love someone, you should tell them right away. He learned the hard way that if you wait, it could be too late before you know it. Understanding registers on Mulan’s face. Robin Hood brings in his little merry man and they place him strategically in front of the window. He speaks with the cutest voice of all the voices and says simply, “I believe!” Sure enough, a Shadowman comes and tries to take the little boy away. But Mulan is ready for him and quickly gets the Shadow to release him. As the Shadow retreats, Neal JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW and holds on to the SHADOW’S FOOT. Not the most foolproof of plans, but it works.
After Neal is gone, Robin Hood thanks Mulan for protecting his son and asks her to join his band of Merry Men, even though she would be the first woman. No stranger to being the only female in an army, she is honored, but says that she has someone to talk to before it’s too late.
That someone is Aurora.
Yes, you read that correctly. After shipping them since the moment they were on screen together, from Mulan worrying about Aurora when she was having nightmares to them losing their heart-removing virginities to one another, our wishes have finally come true. Mulan loves Aurora. And she plans to tell her so.
Aurora greets Mulan with shining eyes and says that she’s so glad to see her. Mulan starts to tell her something, something important. Mulan stops her confession with a laugh asking why Aurora’s practically bursting with smiles. Aurora apologizes for stealing her thunder, but she just HAS to tell her best friend this news. She says “Best friend, I, your friend, wanted you, my friend, to know that Phillip and I are expecting a baby.” You can practically see Mulan’s heart sink like a stone in her chest. She forces a tight smile and when Aurora asks what her news had been, she says she’s joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men. Aurora looks at her with a new sadness and says, “You’re leaving us?” Mulan hears that “us” and knows for sure. They hug and Mulan walks away, a single tear escaping as she turns her back on her one true love. In Neverland, the Storybrooke Adventurers finally find Tinkerbell and Emma DEMANDS to know where Regina is. Emma stands there with Snow, Charming and Hook, all of them with weapons drawn, ready to fight for Regina, to get her back. When Regina emerges, she insists she’s fine, and that Tinkerbell won’t kill them, but won’t help them either. Emma has a suggestion. If Tink helps them get into Pan’s camp, she can come back to Storybrooke with them. Snow looks proudly at her daughter voicing what she had been thinking and says it will be a home. Tinkerbell is still feeling feisty, but DOES like the idea of a home, so she says she’ll go into Pan’s camp and MAYBE leave an opening for them, but it totally isn’t her fault if they get themselves killed, ok?
Charming had been stunned into silence when they came across a wingless Tinkerbell. He was really counting on that pixie dust to save his life. Now he’s at a loss. And Snow doesn’t help matters by choosing this moment to remind him that HE is her home and he is all she needs to survive.
Back in the Enchanted Forest, a newly heartbroken Mulan makes her way through the Merry Men to Robin Hood. She solidifies her new adventure, her path that will lead her away from the girl that got away, by shaking the hand on Robin Hood’s lion-tattooed arm.
What did you think of “Quite A Common Fairy”? Do you think Mulan can get over this rejection and find a new lady love? Are you as excited as I am that Once Upon A Time finally has a queer female character?
Here are some of our favorite #queerytales tweets from this week (you guys were on FIRE with this, the gayest episode of Once to date):
Tink tied Regina up? #kinky #queerytales #LeaveHenry– Catherine Meushaw (@CMeushaw) October 14, 2013
Ooof, right in the feels #SleepingWarrior #queerytales – iFlipForRizzles (@iFlipForRizzles) October 14, 2013
Man the kids on this show just ruin everything #QueeryTales #SleepingWarrior #SwanQueen – iFlipForRizzles (@iFlipForRizzles) October 14, 2013
Wren THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. You just had to jump shows and be the worst. Go be a doctor again. #SleepingWarrior #queerytales – Sara Minor (@saraminor0) October 14, 2013
Mulan couldn’t have Aurora so she escaped w/dudes that call themselves the Merry men? This show is so gay, I can’t sometimes #queerytales – Morena (@Morenadeca) October 14, 2013
Mulan’s little face. I just want to hold her. #SleepingWarrior #queerytales – Tammy (@tylynn_sings) October 14, 2013
M: “Philip here?” A:”No shall I get him?” M:”No that’s unnecessary”…truest statement ever on this show, poor Mulan #queerytales – Kate Terry (@reckingfolkie) October 14, 2013
OH GOD IS MULAN LET ME LOVE YOU YOU CAN SEE HER HEART BREAKING #queerytales– Meagan H (@NayaCutYoNails) October 14, 2013
Oh shit. Well there goes that. Mulan. “Never fall for a straight girl” #queerytales– Shazan LaShazawn (@ShanLaShawn) October 14, 2013
“I threw my pie for you Regina!” #queerytales #OUAT – Whitney Queen (@wqueen1) October 14, 2013
Great. Let’s let Henry be in charge of everyone’s fate. That’s very promising. #queerytales – Chen Drachman (@shokoshik) October 14, 2013
Oh Regina, we’ve all made the jealous “boyfriend” dig. Welcome to the club. #queerytales– NicS (@njnic23) October 14, 2013
It’s now canon that we have a non-straight woman of color on this show. *high five* to us b/c we so totally called it. #queerytales– Marie (@buknerd) October 14, 2013
Quick! Somebody find a list of fairy tale ladies who haven’t been on the show yet. We need to find Mulan a lady! #queerytales– Marie (@buknerd) October 14, 2013
