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50 reasons we’re thankful we’re gay ladies in 2013

Happy (American) Thanksgiving, AfterEllen readers! As we gorge ourselves on turkey and dressing and mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and green bean casserole and pecan pie, we thought we’d take a look back at this year in lesbian/bi pop culture and remember the things that fill us with gratitude. So, guzzle that wine and join us as we countdown 50 reasons we’re thankful to be gay ladies in 2013. 1. Orange Is the New Black I’m thankful for Orange Is the New Black, which not only is a great series with key lesbian and bisexual characters, but secretly a show all about women of color. And it helps that it’s hilarious. – Dorothy Snarker 2. Bomb Girls I am so thankful that the Bomb Girls (and by extension, more Betty McRae) movie is actually going to happen, thus restoring my faith in justice/miracles/Canada. – Elaine Atwell 3. Tegan and Sara For over a decade I’ve kept loyal to Tegan and Sara-so when they released their anticipated 2013 album Heartthrob, I was overjoyed with nostalgic, teenage-feelings. Their new music sent me into a state of leg bopping and feet jumping. The icing on this cake came when they released the music video for “Closer” and behind the scenes, the two made mention of My So-Called Life-comparing this house party scene in the music video to that of a lost Angela Chase birthday bash of some sort. Now that-that was genius to a herd of late 20-somethings like me who simply already felt and hoped that was the aesthetic T&S were going for.

Then, Heartthrob: The Interviews brought together all the missing pieces that now complete a puzzle of pop culture reason: Tegan and Sara were as fanatical for Joey McIntyre as I was growing up-they perhaps coveting his way cool threads and slick stage moves, and I more or less drooling over him in general (because in retrospect he did have a hint of lesbian swag). And when they chatted up Kate Moennig, she professed her love of 90210′s bad boy Dylan McKay, who happened to be my second boy crush next to Joey. For all of us weird, closeted kids of the early ’90s who idolized such pop culture icons, it comes with great gratitude to hear major “coming-out-crushes” into the gay world rattle off like-minded feelings. So to sum it up: I’m thankful for Tegan, Sara, the ’90s, boys of the ’90s who made us gay, and the ways 2013’s Heartthrob made us swoon in all the familiar ways. – Kim Hoffman 4. The Fosters In the land of fictional characters there is nothing I am more thankful for this year than The Fosters. The show, which could have so easily veered off the rails as it tackled every issue under the sun in its first ten episodes, met and exceeded every single one of my wildest dreams. The show balanced the stories of the five teenage children that are the bread and butter of ABC Family with some real depth in the storylines involving the moms. You had us at lesbian. – Lucy Hallowell

I’m thankful for The Fosters, which centers around an interracial same-sex couple raising a multi-ethnic blended family and highlights transcultural adoption. – Eboni Rafus 5. Arizona Robbins To me, Arizona Robbins was always just a fun-loving lesbian character with the patience and optimism of a thousand saints, and then her plane fell out of the sky and she lost her leg and she suffered some serious PTSD – and that’s when she taught me about suffering and redemption and agony and defeat and getting up and falling down and getting up and getting up and getting up some some more. She taught me stuff I didn’t know about myself and stuff I didn’t know about people I love. And she made me really understand Hemingway for the first time: “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” – Heather Hogan 6. Lesbian-Themed Novels I’m grateful that both queer and non-queer authors are seeing success in telling (and selling) lesbian-themed stories. This year I read three great mainstream novels by straight-identified authors that had lesbians at the center-Bodies of Water by T. Greenwood, Bombshell by James Reich, and We are Water by Wally Lamb-and they were both such deliciously good stories about gay women that will reach people both inside and outside of the community. Even Stephen King put a lesbian character in his new book this year, Doctor Sleep. It’s so validating when we are seen as worthy portraits in books devoured by all kinds of humans. It’s only right, and much more interesting than reading about the same kinds of straight people all the time. Boring. – Trish Bendix 7. Orphan Black I am grateful for Orphan Black for a number of reasons. First of all, because it gave us Cosima, a queer character who is adorable and lovable and emotional and smart. But, more importantly, it gave us Tatiana Maslany. Tatiana not only portrays Cosima beautifully (as well as all 93 other characters she plays on that show), but she also talks about her, and about sexuality in general, in such smart, meaningful ways. She has also been super supportive of her queer fan base (clonesbians, if you will) and is an excellent ally to have portraying a queer character. – Valerie Anne 8. Lesbian-Leaning Web Series For lesbian leaning web series like Producing Juliet and Kelsey. The format allows great writers and actors to keep telling our stories while making them widely accessible to any queer with a computer or smartphone. Producing Juliet is from writer/director Tina Cesa Ward, who previously brought us the very popular web series Anyone But Me. Where Producing Juliet leans toward the serious side, Kelsey is a bundle of hilarious, nervous energy. They couldn’t be more different, but both are examples of what a great script and cast can mean for the medium of web based storytelling. – Dana Piccoli 9. Edie Windsor When Edie Windsor met Thea Spyer in New York City in 1965, she wasn’t planning to change the laws of the nation. All she wanted to do was dance. That night, Windsor and Spyer danced until Windsor wore a hole in her stockings.

After a long love affair that spanned decades, Windsor and Spyer married in Toronto, Canada in 2007. Unfortunately, Spyer passed away in 2009. Then, to add insult to injury, the IRS ordered Windsor to pay $363,000 in estate taxes, which would not have been the case had Windsor and Spyer’s marriage been recognized by the federal government.

Windsor, as executor of Spyer’s estate, through her lawyers at Paul Weiss and the ACLU, filed suit in the Southern District of New York in November of 2010. The case reached the Supreme Court, and on June 26, 2013, the highest court of the land declared DOMA unconstitutional.

And thus, love changed America-and let us all be thankful that a certain Edie Windsor had an urge to get up and dance that fateful night in 1965. – Grace Chu 10. Adventure Time

2013 is the year Adventure Time‘s writers finally let us know that they ship Princess Bubblegum and Marceline the Vampire Queen as much as we do. They gave us “Sky Witch!” Plus, they released the entire mini-series of Marceline and the Scream Queens comic books in a trade-paperback. And oh my glob, those stories make their relationship absolute main text. – Heather Hogan

11. Batwoman Sure, there’s been a lot of drama surrounding DC’s mishandling of their only lesbian superhero, but this year gave us the first gay lady marriage proposal in mainstream comics and an epic, revolutionary team-up between Batwoman and Wonder Woman! – Heather Hogan 12. Angel Haze I’m thankful for Angel Haze‘s music and for the attention she is bringing to pansexuality. – Eboni Rafus 13. Last Tango in Halifax I’m also grateful for the outstanding and complex lesbian characters that the UK brought us this year in some fantastic shows: Last Tango in Halifax, Scott & Bailey, The Fall. – Jill Guccini 14. Glee It doesn’t always treat us right, but Glee was the only TV series in 2013 to feature lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender characters. We miss Brittany S. Pierce every day, but we’ve got to give the show props for bringing on Demi Lovato to play gay. And we’re still laughing about Santana’s Yeast-I-Stat commercial. – Heather Hogan 15. Ellen DeGeneres The First Lady of Daytime TV continues to be the best ambassador for queer equality around the world. And this year she announced the upcoming Pixar masterpiece Finding Dory! – Heather Hogan 16. All My Children Its resurrection didn’t last long, but any time we can spend with Bianca Montgomery is worth our gratitude. Plus, it’s a soap opera. Nothing ever really stays dead in soap opera world. – Heather Hogan 17. Blue Is the Warmest Color So much has been said about Blue is the Warmest Color, that it is easy to walk into it, emotionally armed to the teeth. Yet, for all of it’s controversy, in its heart lies a film about mad, mad love between two women. It’s slow. It savors every bite of dialogue, every kiss, every bowl of spaghetti. There is a true balance in the film, unlike any I’ve seen in recent memory. For every ounce of ecstasy, there are equal amounts of agony. If you haven’t seen the film yet, don’t let reviews or criticisms scare you away. There is a lot to enjoy in this epic love story. – Dana Piccoli 18. Macklemore I am so grateful every time I see some bro-y looking dude riding around with the windows open, blasting “Same Love.: – Elaine Atwell 19. Marriage Equality I’m also thankful for 16 states-California, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington-who have gotten on the right side of history and allow same-sex marriages. – Dorothy Snarker 20. YA Lit I’m thankful for all young adult books with positive, well-drawn gay characters-even the the books that aren’t very good. At this point there are too many for me to name, which gives me hope as both a reader of YA and a writer of YA. – Eboni Rafus

21. Grey’s Anatomy Now entering its tenth season, Grey’s Anatomy is holding our attention better than it ever has done. From Arizona’s struggle with PTSD to Dr. Peyton Tree Hill’s on-call room seduction, to the marital fallout between Callie and Arizona, we can’t look away from this sudsy bloodbath. – Dana Piccoli 22. Dracula We’ve been pining for Katie McGrath to play gay on American TV since we began lusting after her Dark Magical ways on Merlin so many years ago. Dreams really do come true! – Heather Hogan 23. Lena Adams There have been some examples of truly terrible lesbian parents on television (I am looking at you Bette and Tina). Into that bleak, yawning chasm of parental role models came Lena Adams. If Stef and Lena are the Coach and Tami Taylor of gay parents we’ve been waiting for, Lena is the perfect Tami. She’s kind, sharp, intellectual, cultured, loving, and, of course, has perfect hair. She is a fount of empathy and strength. She loves Stef, her gun toting cop, her “piece of work,” and even lets Stef thinks she’s the stronger of the two. But we know better, Lena is the backbone of this family as well as the kind heart at its center. – Lucy Hallowell 24. Stef Foster And then there’s Stef Foster. At the start, Stef looked like the prototypical bad cop to Lena’s good. In reality we found that has a smart mouth but is just a big ball of mush under that badge. She fell in love with Lena the moment they met outside Brandon’s school. We saw that it was Lena who gave Stef a reason to come out, to end her marriage to Mike, and to stand up to her father who sent her running for the closet so many years earlier. Stef has a courageous soul, but she needs a reason to be brave. We got to see that on screen. We got to see, for the first time in my memory, what it looks like for an adult to deal with those old scars of being a gay teenager whose identity was harshly rejected. This was a story arc that has been missing and watching Teri Polo nail those scenes of long simmering hurt with her father was more than I ever dreamed of seeing. – Lucy Hallowell 25. Paige McCullers From closeted self-loathing homophobia to proposing U-Haul dreams to her girlfriend and dressing like a cowgirl, Paige McCullers continues to have one of the most satisfying lesbian character story arcs in the history of TV. We’re so glad we’re not being forced to eat mushy squash anymore. – Heather Hogan 26. Chicago Fire We confess to being worried about the way Chicago Fire hinted at handling Shay’s impulsive decision to have a baby, but they sidestepped that ol’ lesbian-sleeps-with-a-man trope and have managed to back-peddle their way safely into our hearts. – Heather Hogan 27. Under the Dome The most-watched show of the summer TV season featured a lesbian couple that was treated just the same as every other couple on the show, even if that meant one of them lost her life at the hands of the Dome. But for a couple of months this summer, we got to laugh and cry with an interracial lesbian couple on CBS. Wonders never cease. – Heather Hogan 28. R&B Divas I’m grateful for R&B Divas for showing Terez propose to Monifah, one of the most genuine engagements I’ve seen on TV, and to have it be between two black women is even better. Their relationship is real and warm and totally devoid of the male-gaze-y lesbianism that’s often on reality TV, and Monifah dealing with her uber-religious daughter with so much class is an example for us all. – Jill Guccini 29. Lost Girl Not only did Canada’s best sci-fi series continue its nonchalant exploration of the full spectrum of queer sexuality in 2013; the show also added lesbian fan favorites Ali Liebert and Mia Kirshner to the mix. Bo Dennis is the bisexual Buffy we don’t deserve, but cherish with all our hearts. – Heather Hogan 30. Brittney Griner You can’t help but notice a 6’8″ woman on a skateboard wearing a bow tie. You also can’t help rooting for Brittney Griner the star basketball player who decided getting picked first in the WNBA Draft was as good a time as ever to come out. Coming out at the start of her career would have been enough for many of us, but not for Griner who has pledged that what she wants more than basketball championships is to be the person to end bullying. Griner has spoken again and again on the pain she felt being bullied for her looks, her gender, her voice, her height, and her sexuality. She’s taken all that hurt and channeled it into doing something positive with her position as one of the most recognizable players in the WNBA. For everyone wishing for a proud, confident, out, role model in women’s sports, here she is. And she’s incredible. – Lucy Hallowell

31. That It’s a Just Wig You know what I’m talking about, Lost Girl fans. – Dorothy Snarker 32. That We Need a Time-Turner I’m thankful to live in a world where there AREN’T ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY to watch all the queer storylines on TV. It’s a problem I never thought I’d have. – Elaine Atwell 33. That Dana Fairbanks Lives Girl, we saw you in The Bling Ring, being Hermione Granger’s lawyer! – Heather Hogan 34. Rookie Blue I’m thankful that Rookie Blue, a show that portrays many strong female characters, added a queer lady relationship to the mix. Lesbian forensic pathologist Holly is a fun, quirky answer to rookie Gail Peck’s snarky ways. Charlotte Sullivan has also said that being genuine and having this relationship be for the women, not be some gross ratings ploy to appease men, is very important to her, which I’m extremely grateful for. – Valerie Anne 35. ABC Family I’m thankful for ABC Family’s continued dedication to LGBT inclusion. Who knew the ABC off-shoot would end up being the go to place for authentic and rich stories about lesbian characters ad stories. Not just coming out stories either. Pretty Little Liars and The Fosters have gay characters who are just trying to living their lives, raise families, get into a good college. Sure, they’ve been stalked, shot, nearly run over by cars, but not because they are gay. Because they are at the center of the action, not sideline characters who only exist to fill a GLAAD scorecard. ABC Family has the kind of shows that can change the world, and they already have. – Dana Piccoli 36. Fandom While there are more lesbian and bisexual characters on TV than ever before, there’s still nothing quite as satisfying as relaxing into the warm, welcoming embrace of a gay lady fan fiction writer who just gets the characters even better than professional TV writers. And the fan art. Lord, the fan art. – Heather Hogan 37. Fearless Defenders Marvel’s short-lived comic book series introduced us to two lesbian characters, one of whom was brought back form the dead after serious fan outrage, and the other of whom was a woman of color that was created just for the title. – Heather Hogan 38. Arrested Development Seeing Portia de Rossi back on our TVs as Lindsay Bluth was a dream come true. We prayed and begged and wrote letters to Fox for years. Thanks for being our savior more than once in 2013, Netflix! – Heather Hogan 39. The Killing There are far too few butch lesbians on primetime television, but The Killing came through big time this year with homeless teen Bullet, who met an untimely end (hey, the show is named The Killing for a reason!), but won the heart of our readers and AMC’s audience at large. – Heather Hogan 40. Straight Allies For allies and gay artists kicking down the country closet door. In the past, country music has not exactly been a bastion of equality and equality, but singers and songwriters like Kacey Musgraves and Brandy Clark changing that, one song at a time. CMA Best New Artist winner and straight ally Musgraves really stepped it up with her humorous and inclusive “be yourself” anthem, “Follow Your Arrow.” The song happens to be co-written by out artists Shane McAnally and Brandy Clark. Clark just released her own solo album, 12 Stories, to much critical acclaim. Hopefully the momentum generated by these two talented artists will open doors to a larger space in the world of country. – Dana Piccoli

41. The United States Supreme Court Christmas may fall on December 25, but this year on June 26 it sure felt like Christmas. On that day the Supreme Court of the United States handed the gays of America not one but two long-awaited presents. SCOTUS hurled Section 3 of DOMA into the dust heap of history, and Prop 8? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Writing for the 5-4 majority in US v. Windsor, Justice Kennedy wrote that DOMA was in violation of the 5th Amendment of the US Constitution, and the 5-4 majority in Hollingsworth v. Perry decided that the supporters of Proposition 8 had no legal standing to bring the case in the first place. And then the court packed their robes and closed shop for the season.

They sprang to their cars, to their drivers gave a whistle, and homed in on the Vineyard like a Patriot Missile. But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of sight, “Happy Gay Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!” – Grace Chu 42. Pretty Little Liars To call Pretty Little Liars a teen drama would be selling the popular ABC Family series very short. Sure, it focuses on the lives of a group of teenage girls, but it’s one of the smartest shows on television today.The talented creative team, led by I. Marlene King, manages to keep fans on the edge of their seats not only in regards to the show’s omnipresent intrigue, but also when it come to the love affairs of its leading ladies. Knowing that your favorite character could end up being a bad guy in the end, just adds to the excitement. Four girls, lots of secrets, puffy drapes. What more could you ask for in a prime time show? – Dana Piccoli 43. Warehouse 13 H.G. Wells came back to us and Myka! She came back! I mean, sure, she exiled herself to Boring, Wisconsin to try to resurrect her daughter in a way that didn’t involve destroying the planet, thereby breaking our (and Myka’s!) heart into bits. But we know it’s only a matter of time before she finds our way home to the Warehouse. – Heather Hogan 44. Concussion Concussion is a film that doesn’t just push through boundaries and old tropes. It demolishes them. Abby/Eleanor (played by the excellent Robin Weigert) leads the viewer on a disorienting and fascinating journey through woman’s sexual re-awakening. Writer/director Stacie Passon nails the ennui and longing of her leading character with a depth that is all too often left out in lesbian cinema. – Dana Piccoli 45. Ray Donovan Anything that puts Kate Moennig back on our TVs, strutting around in suit, is all right by us! – Heather Hogan 46. Rachel Maddow MSNBC’s go-to pundit has finally solidified her place as a national treasure. Hell, she even guest starred on The Simpsons this year! – Heather Hogan 47. Sara Gilbert The Talk‘s resident lesbian host talks about her girlfriend and her kids all the time, meaning she’s normalizing gay families in living rooms across the country every single day. – Heather Hogan 48. Defiance Jaime Murray continued her gay-for-pay streak in 2013, bringing the total number of women she’s made out with on-screen to one gajillion. As Castithan royalty Stahma Tarr, she explored a same-sex relationship with Mia Kirshner’s Kenya Rosewater. It ended in murder, but at Comic-Con this summer, Jaime Murray explained that just because you kill someone to death, it doesn’t mean you didn’t love her. – Heather Hogan 49. American Horror Story: Coven Half the time AHS: Coven is on the air, we’re looking away from our TVs, either because we’re scared or grossed out or wildly offended. But at least it affords us the opportunity to see Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson share a screen! – Heather Hogan 50. Liz Feldman

She just announced she’s teaming up with Ellen to write the lesbian sitcom we’ve been begging for our whole lives. – Heather Hogan

What are you most thankful for in 2013?

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