“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.16): And baby makes…UGH

The next morning Maura is at Jane’s place. Guess they don’t always sleep over at the Isles Estates after all. But Jane is refusing Maura’s coffee. If the tuna turndown didn’t trip the big red alert siren in your head, turning down caffeine most definitely should. You in danger, gurl.


Jane also ground her teeth all night and couldn’t sleep. Maura says she knows, she couldn’t sleep either because of it. What? We all read that between the lines. Maura tells Jane not to think negative thoughts, because her body will experience things that aren’t happening. Remember that for later. Like much later. Like next season.

Frankie arrives because he is apparently the new Captain Crotchblock. Maura upholds her Hippocratic Oath and checks the lip she stitched up for him. But Frankie doesn’t understand the doctor-patient professional relationship and grabs her hand.


Jane walks in on his one-sided hand holding. Nothing like a big sister glare to make little brother shape up right quick. Frankie slinks out and Jane apologizes to Maura for Frankie’s misplaced affections. But just in case she makes sure Maura has no plans to see her sibling naked. Maura refuses to dignify the question with an answer.


Jane tells her to be careful, because even though she knows Maura is only interested in one Rizzoli, Frankie tends to fall for people hard. See, even though her brother is totally scamming on her girlfriend, Jane is looking out for him. Such a good big sister, that one. Even when the sibling in question doesn’t necessarily deserve it.

The detectives go off to investigate the case, because believe it or not they still have to investigate murders in between all the familial drama. Unfortunately they’ve been put on the “No Investigate” list by Homeland Security. It doesn’t help that Jane drops the bombshell that the victim might have been about to leak government secrets. Congratulations, you’ve just had your case taken over by the federal government. And don’t be surprised if you get audited, too.


Jane calls Maura immediately because that’s how Jane handles any crisis. She also knows the Feds will be coming for the victim’s body and tells Maura to start the autopsy. But Maura made a promise, so she can’t. Come on, Maura–it’s not like it was a pinky promise. Luckily, our good doctor finds a way around the restrictions just in time before the men in suits arrive.

The spooks also show up at the victim’s apartment and police headquarters to make a mess. They even take Jane and Korsak’s computers. Or so they think. Cavanaugh pulled a switcheroo. Don’t worry, I’m sure the NSA is too busy reading everyone’s SnapChats to notice. Still, Maura isn’t taking any chances when she shows Jane the illicit evidence she has collected.


Isn’t it cute when good girls try to be bad? They get so nervous. Maura breaking the law for Jane is the purest sign of love on this show. She made dental impressions of the victim’s mouth. And also palmed her retainer. Guess what? They don’t fit. So if she wasn’t wearing them, why did she pack them for her trip? Jane thinks she was framed to look like she was fleeing the country. Wow, all that from a retainer? Imagine if they had the whole body. They’d cure cancer.

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