“Chicago Fire” recap (2.21): “Lesbian hoodlum”

Previously on Chicago Fire, a bomb went off at a running race giving everyone in Boston terrible flashbacks. Shay got kebabed by some rebar, Dawson got lost in the rubble and thump on the head. Oh nevermind, we’re pretending that whole two night, two part, story never happened. Let’s try this again. Jones committed suicide. Boden broke up with Hot Donna because he is bad at relationships but apparently not bad at getting people knocked up. There’s a baby Boden in that oven. Casey asked Shay to help him pick out a ring for Dawson. Dawson got ready to re-take the firefighter test but if she passes she won’t be able to hang at 51 anymore because she can’t serve under Casey. Dammit Casey, you’re breaking up Shawson again!

We begin in Dawson and Casey’s kitchen. He wants to talk about taking a dinner cruise in the dead of winter. She’s freaking out because she has to work a shift the day before retaking her firefighter test. He assures her that Boden will let her leave early so she makes it to the test on time. But then we get to the real problem. Passing the test means leaving 51 and that charming blond, blue eyed, smart ass, Shay. (What, you thought I mean Casey?)

Boden and Donna are having coffee and processing becoming parents like a couple of old lesbians. Both of them thought that the parenthood ship had sailed. Boden tells her that Mills is sweet but being a father figure to him just isn’t cutting it. He wants to be involved in the baby’s life. Who else is going to teach it to speak with the lowest voice still audible to the human ear?

At 51 Mouch is passing out flyers for his yard sale and Severide introduces everyone to Rick Newhouse. I am assuming the writers were like “we’re sick of naming characters who we just end up killing or who leave after a few episodes. Let’s call the new guy in the house, ‘Newhouse’ just to make it easier.”

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In the locker room, Shay is in one piece with no sign of having a giant piece of rebar stuck through her middle. She tells Dawson that maybe she could skip taking the test because Shay will miss having her around. And since she’s getting married, whoops. Shay tries to cover and is smooth as always. Dawson says Shay will be fine on her own, or with Rafferty, and it’s not like they won’t see each other and engage in totally inappropriate ass-slapping.

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They crew is called out to save a guy caught in a wood chipper. Don’t you worry, now, Marge Gunderson is on the case. Dawson tells Shay to take the lead. Oh ladies, I get it, you like to switch up who’s in charge. Carry on with your foreplay. After Dawson drives away the douchey prepster from an ’80s movie drives up. Welch’s house is where Dawson would go if she passes her test. James Spader tells Casey that they don’t like girl firefighter’s in their clubhouse. Even Herrmann rolls his eyes.

Back at 51, Rick Newguy, is getting cozy. While he tells Mouch about his side job as a process server, Connie shows up with a cup of tea for him. Mouch can hardly believe that Newman got Connie to smile. Mouch didn’t even know she had teeth. Meanwhile, Shay sneaks up to Casey’s office to tell him to hurry up and propose before she blows the surprise. He tells her that he’s got it all planned out. He’s going to propose on a river cruise. The boat’s called the Titanic. He still hasn’t asked Dawson’s parents for their blessing because they haven’t been cast are away for a couple months. Before she can yell at him some more, Dawson shows up and says Shay better come see who is waiting downstairs.

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Look what the cat dragged in. Devon says, “Leslie” and Shay says “I’m calling the cops.” She busts inside and is about to dial 1-800-Hairporn when Severide offers his two cents. Not now, pretty boy. Shay goes back out and tells Devon she wants their stuff back. Severide can’t believe it. She tells him that if they call the cops they will never get their stuff or money back. Devon says, “Oh hey baby, can’t we go somewhere and talk?” Shay says when she has something to return. She wants everything Devon stole. I think trust isn’t going to be returnable, but hey, good luck finding it, Dev.

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