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“Young & Hungry” recap (1.03): Hard Liquor

One of ABC Family’s newest comedies, Young & Hungry, is about a 20-something aspiring chef (Gabi) who works for a rich internet mogul (Josh). It’s cute and fun and Disney alum Emily Osment is one of the most adorable humans on the face of the planet. Every episode is titled “Young &” something, and this week’s episode is called “Young & Lesbian.” The lesbian in this instance is played by yet another Disney alum: Ashley Tisdale.

I’ve basically been waiting for this moment my whole life. And by my whole life I mean since the summers in college I spent at home watching the Disney channel and pretending I totally wasn’t.

Anyway, this episode begins with Gabi trying to cook despite the hungry eyes of her boss’s publicist, Elliot. Logan, the editor of a magazine that produces the “30 under 30” list every year, is coming over and needs to be impressed enough to include Josh in this year’s issue: Josh is 29, so it’s his last chance. Elliot makes it sound like Josh’s heart will break if he’s not on the list, but Josh is under the impression that it’s Elliot who would be devastated by the omission.

Gabi tells them both to calm down and let her handle the food. When the editor shows up, she lays it right down: Her name is Logan and she is not in the mood to explain her tattoos. Yolanda, Josh’s housekeeper, sasses her right back and lets her in. Logan is no-nonsense and critiques everything she sees. Josh is charming but Elliot is following behind him like a yappy puppy, laughing too loud and being ridiculous. Gabi steps in to save the day, with what she calls “store d’oeuvres” modeled after the free samples at Costco, because she’s adorable.

After a very successful meeting, Elliot walks Logan out to the elevator, where she tells him that Josh isn’t going to make the list-unless he can get her a date. At first Elliot thinks she means with Josh, but she is actually talking about Gabi. She asks if the chef is single and gay, and Elliot says she is, and will get Gabi on Logan’s “girl under girl” list in exchange for getting Josh on the “30 under 30” list. It was the first in many hilariously bad lesbian puns scattered throughout the episode.

When Elliot goes inside to tell Gabi what she has to do, he decides to spin it and makes her think that Logan just wants a woman’s opinion of Josh and his work, which Gabi is simply delighted to provide. Gabi meets Logan at a bar, and when Logan interrupts her spiel about Josh, it suddenly becomes clear that she’s actually here on a date. Gabi tries to stall by saying they should get a drink, and Logan comes out with the best pun of the episode, in my opinion, saying that she loves a good hard liquor. Say it out loud. I’ll wait.

Get it? I may or may not have spit my drink all over the place. So wrong but so right.

While Logan is getting drinks, Gabi calls Elliot and yells at him for lying to her and setting her up on a date with Logan, seeing as she’s not gay. He tells her that she’s Josh’s only chance to get on the “30 under 30” list, so to just play along for now. Gabi reluctantly agrees, but the first thing she says to Logan when she comes back is that they should definitely take things slow. Logan takes sex off the table, but leans in for a kiss, causing Gabi to squirm her way right off the couch they’re sitting on. Realizing there’s no other way around this, Gabi comes out to Logan as straight and tells her about Elliot’s lies. Logan is super embarrassed-she only asked because her therapist told her to get back out there after a bad breakup.

Gabi feels bad about everything and offers a shoulder and a comforting pat. After hearing Logan’s story, and learning that her ex left all of her stuff, including her cat, at Logan’s place, Gabi says that it’s obvious Logan’s ex wants to come back. No lesbian just abandons an animal like that. She then devises a plan to make the ex jealous, because those schemes always work and never backfire.

Gabi and Logan go out to dinner at Logan’s ex girlfriend Judy’s restaurant. Correction: Logan’s GORGEOUS ex girlfriend Judy’s restaurant. (Side note: Judy is played by Jessica Lowndes aka bisexual beauty Adrianna Tate-Duncan from 90210.)

Gabi talks Logan through the plan to make Judy jealous. First, they take a selfie. Then Gabi has Logan feed her. When that still doesn’t get Judy’s attention, Gabi shouts her name and puts her arm around Logan. Not subtle, but effective nonetheless.

When Josh sees the selfie go up on Twitter (hashtag best date ever), he’s confused. Elliot explains that it was kind of his fault but it was all in the name of the “30 under 30” list, but Josh is not impressed. Josh runs off to the restaurant, not knowing that the girls have worked everything out on their own and that Gabi doesn’t need him to save her. He shouts that Gabi doesn’t have to be gay, just as Judy had actually taken the bait and came over to confront Logan. Gabi tries to save the situation, saying she loves “boobs and chopping firewood” because she has apparently never met a real lesbian before. (Though we do like boobs. And I’m sure some of us like chopping firewood.)

Judy isn’t convinced and seems more apt to believe Josh’s story, so to seal the deal, Gabi kisses Logan. Judy is furious and says she never wants to see Logan again. Gabi is a little embarrassed that her plan did end up backfiring, but then Logan starts to choke on a mint. Gabi runs around in circles like a puppy in a thunderstorm and Judy comes out to give Logan the heimlich. This near-death experience gives Judy a new perspective, so she and Logan kiss and make up. Of note: During this kiss, Gabi smiles sweetly, glad Logan and Judy are back together. Josh smiles grossly, because Hollywood still loves to perpetuate the guys-getting-off-on-lesbians-kissing thing, but at least this earns him a dirty look from Gabi.

Judy brings Gabi a signed cookbook that has a threatening note inside and Gabi pats herself on the back for a job well done. Though it turns out the choking thing was fake and all part of Josh’s plan. Josh tells Logan not to worry about putting him on the list and Logan heads back to the kitchen. Gabi asks him what that was all about; she gave Logan the best kiss of her life (a slightly exaggerated recounting of the “it was great” review Logan actually gave the kiss) and now he’s not even going to be on the list?

Josh says he appreciated the kiss (in that gross way-insert eyeroll here) but that the list doesn’t matter to him.

But, of course, he ended up making the list anyway, and everyone lived happily ever after. Overall, I think this was a cute episode. The puns were plentiful and the stereotypes were off-hand comments said in a way that made it obvious how ridiculous it was. I definitely could have done without Josh being gross (the way he said he appreciated this kiss literally made my blood boil) but I think Ashley Tisdale, Jessica Lowndes, and Emily Osment did a great job.

In an AfterEllen interview, Ashley Tisdale mentioned that it’s not impossible for Logan to return, but it sort of seemed to me like that isn’t something she has planned, mostly because of other acting gigs. This interview also leads me to believe they also have no other lesbians or plans for lesbians in the foreseeable future, but you bet I’ll be back to talk about it if one pops out of the woodwork.

What did you think of “Young & Lesbian”?

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