“Dante’s Cove” Recaps: Episode 3.1

Meanwhile, several miles from the beach, Grace is still walking in her stiletto, 5-inch heels that somehow made it back to Earth attached to her feet. A convertible pulls alongside her and offers her a lift.

Grace: Why, thank you. If you might be so kind as to drop me off at the Neville Estate. I’m …
Griff: I know who you are, Grace.
Grace: And you are?
Griff: Name’s Griffin, but call me Griff. [kisses her hand]
Grace: Well, Mr. Griffin, what brings you to the island?
Griff: It’s a work thing.
Grace: Huh. Unusual. Most young men come here to play.
Griff: Oh, I’ll do plenty of that, too.

Grace gets in Griff’s car and checks her look in the mirror. She’s a beachcombing mess, but oddly, she’s rocking that seaweed salad in her hair. She asks Griff what line of work is he in? “I’m a representative of the Tresum Council,” he replies. The color drains from Grace’s face.

“I believe I’ll walk!” she says indignantly and gets out of the car. She wants nothing to do with the Tresum Council. Griff explains he’s not there to see her anyway, he’s there to see her sister, Diana.

Grace: My sister is the reason I’m such a mess! She pulled some trick on me last night at the Libra Solstice …
Griff: Last night? The Libra Solstice was six months ago.
Grace: Six months? Well, that can’t be. You’re telling me six months of my life is missing? How? What did she do?
Griff: Dante’s Cove has had a few natural disturbances since then. The tsunami wiped out everything on the leeward side.

That damn tsunami. Griff offers Grace a “cozy” place to stay: his place. But since being humiliated by her then-fiancé, Ambrosius, back when shoes had buttons, Grace has no use for men or love anymore.

Grace says she has another home on the windward side of the island. She haughtily demands that Griff drive her over there.

Drink when you hear “tsunami” – Toby and Adam are sunning their matching pairs of pecs on matching chaise lounges. Apparently, all the shirts on the leeward side of the island were lost in the tsunami.

Toby complains he can’t sleep because of his reoccurring nightmare about Van. Adam says, “There was nothing you could have done to save Van. She musta washed away in the tsunami.” Yup. That’s what musta happened. Most likely.

Adam asks Toby how he’s doing with the Kevin breakup sitch, because it seems like a marginally cheerier subject than “your best friend was washed away in a tsunami.” Toby says he’s glad Kevin is out of his life; being in relationship is a big, fat drag, and not in the fun way that includes show tunes.

Toby takes solace in a nice neck rub from Adam. Just two shirtless men comforting each other in times of need.

Eggs, sunny side up, anyone? – Inside the house, Brit and Elena are giving each other good morning kisses in the kitchen. Brit is wearing what might be Underoos. Sexy. Hard to believe Elena would leave that behind when she goes home.

Fact is, she can’t quit her. Elena tells Brit she’s made up her mind to stay forever. Beep … beep … Brit’s face is frozen in terror, even though she was the one who asked her to stay. That’s what you get when you talk with your mouth full of girl: a whole lotta backpedaling later.

Elena says something like: “Don’t worry, stupid, I’m not doing this for you. I just love how fresh the fruit is here!” This seems to comfort Brit. To celebrate, they peel their shirts off, shifting the Dante’s Cove male-to-female nipple ratio from the old 5-to-1 (or would it be 10-to-2?) to a slightly more equitable 3-to-1.

Brit kisses Elena all over her chest and stomach, and I should be happy, but for some reason, my eyes are twitching. Brit and Elena. Not hot. You be the judge.