“Dante’s Cove” Recaps: Episode 3.1

Home sweet home – Griff and Grace arrive at her last remaining undamaged home. He tries to make a play for her, but the house is a mess and she doesn’t feel fresh, so maybe another time. Like, oh, let’s say the day after Never. Grace is not about to start sleeping with the enemy. But she will take a ride from one when her feet hurt.

Grace walks into her house and finds naked lesbians in her kitchen. She screams in surprise. Brit and Elena duck behind the counter. Grace raises her arms in a sweeping gesture and calls out: “Forces of Tresum, protect my home! Vanquish intruders! Interlopers be gone!”

One small bowl of fruit falls limply to the floor. She’s shooting blanks. So much has changed in six months.

After a shower and a change of clothes and a much needed re-accessorizing, Grace gathers her intruders and interlopers for a meeting in the living room. She wants to know who the hell told them they could move into her house.

Toby explains they had nowhere to go after the Hotel Dante was destroyed in the tsunami. And since she owned the hotel, they figured they’d crash at her place while she rebuilds it. “It’s not my fault there was a tsunami!” Grace says exasperatedly. These recaps write themselves.

Brit opens her yap about Grace’s obligations as their landlord. Grace sashays over to Brit, gives her the stink eye, and says, “I don’t recall you ever even living at the Dante!” Grace is divalicious.

Toby pacifies her by showing her they’ve been paying rent the whole time. Grace calms down because every girl needs a little pocket money. And hey, it’ll be good to have her apprentice/aspirant, Van, close by. Everyone looks at each other uneasily until Adam Schadenfreude blurts out, “Van’s dead.”

Grace: No … how?
Adam: We think she washed away in the tsunami.
Grace: Van dead? It hardly seems possible. And the Moon Book. Where is it?
Toby: How should I know? Probably destroyed, like everything else.

It’s a lot to digest. Grace decides to let the kids stay. “But put some clothes on!” she scolds and throws a shirt at Adam. Don’t bother, Grace. That’s a losing battle.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it – Elsewhere, Griff is about to take his meeting with Diana at her surf shop. She recognizes him right off and says she’s been expecting the official reprimand from headquarters, so go ahead, Mr. Bureaucrat.

Griff reminds Diana she did not restore balance at the Solstice. Diana says what’s an earthquake, tsunami or fire compared to saving Michelle’s life, which, hello, she did? Diana says when the stars align, she’ll fix everything, but Griff tells her to stop “helping.” Every time she tries to fix something, she makes it worse. Like my girlfriend and our leaky faucet.

Griff gives her a cease-and-desist order and storms off.