“Dante’s Cove” Recaps: Episode 3.2 “Blood Sugar Sex Magik”

There is no magic — You can find most anything at the open-air beach market in Dante’s Cove, with the exception of plus-size fashions, pimple cream or men’s shirts. This afternoon, Tresum Council member and recent arrival Griff is taking his pectorals out for a walk. He strolls by a hunky guy in swimmer’s shorts and eyes the dude’s merchandise.

A few feet away, he spies Grace but almost doesn’t recognize her without her seaweed weave. Griff slides on up to her and asks, his voice a perfect blend of lecherous, soft-spoken cool, “What’s new, pussycat?”

Grace mundanely pulls out a bottle of bug spray and tells him centipedes are what’s new; they’ve taken over her home. Her magic on the fritz since returning to this world, Grace doesn’t have the power to kill bugs dead with a wave of her hand anymore, and she’s now forced to live like the mere mortals who run naked through her house.

It’s appalling. It’s an outrage. If I ever see Grace vacuuming, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Griff offers to cast a “riddance spell” with her because his magic is strong, his magic is long and, not to brag, but it’s true what they say about Tresum Council members.

Grace scoffs. His civil servant magic is watered down hooey compared to what she’s used to. Undeterred, Griff switches tactics and invites Grace to spend a day at the beach with him instead. Grace says she’d rather poison bugs and watch them die than collect sea glass with him.

Griff can take a hint. He bids her good day and turns to the next closest prey, a young woman pursuing shell necklaces six feet away. As he fondles the girl’s belly ring and oozes compliments on her, Grace watches with faint disappointment. It’s just as well, as she’s morphing into a housewife and has to get home to do some laundry.

Elsewhere, Grace’s sibling and rival, Diana, is also coming to grips with having lost her powers since Griff excommunicated her from Tresum for chanting without written permission. Sitting in her living room, Diana tries to bring forth some flowers by waving her hand over a vase and repeating, “Blossoms appear,” over and over. The vase remains empty.

Diana believes her powers are truly gone. Unbeknownst to her, Mayim Bialik and a Powerpuff Girl have suddenly found themselves staring at each other in a cornfield somewhere in Nebraska.

There’s a knock on the door. Diana stands up. Nice outfit. She’s going commando under a caftan-type thing with side slits that go all the way up to her last rib. Is it a shirt? Is it a dress? I’m confused.

Before Diana can get to the door, Michelle walks in because the door is open. Plus, she’s pushy that way since she’s on a quest for help with her parents’ mauling and the vague whiff of evil that follows her around like poo on her sandals. She implores Diana for some magic.

Michelle: Van told me everything. How I died, how you helped her bring me back. I mean, you’re the reason I’m alive, which … which is why I thought you could help me.
Diana: Now’s not a good time.
Michelle: Diana, my parents are dead … and Van … all of them. And I know magic was involved. Please help me. There’s no one else I can turn to.

Diana can’t help Michelle. Instead, she sits silently wondering where her drawers have gone.