“Dante’s Cove” Recaps: Episode 3.4 “Like a Virgin”

Tenacious D — Former witch and space-time busybody, Diana, is having a helluva time adjusting to life as a civilian. Stripped of her magic powers by Griff, the Tresum Council’s enforcer, and running a surf shop on an island where nobody surfs because it messes up their hair, Diana’s days are filled with moping around the house wearing nothing but a tea-stained caftan and watching The Witches of Eastwick on the classic movie channel.

Diana goes to see Griff one more time to implore him to give back her mad magic skillz. Unmoved by her sad tale of woe, Griff tells her to let it go already.

Griff: Diana, it’s over. Quit now, or things will only get much, much worse. Trust me.
Diana: Which is precisely why I should be allowed to right these wrongs. I’ve given my life to Tresum.
Griff: The answer is no.

Tail between her legs, Diana returns home to throw a pizza-for-one in the oven and watch The Craft.

Let’s make some magic together — Meanwhile, at the Dante’s Cove Oceanography Institute and Tool Shed, Michelle is paying Brit another visit to further seduce her with her come-hither eyebrows (good) and ghastly cotton top (bad).

The seduction strategy for wearing that fashion nightmare is for Brit to beg her to take it off.

Michelle: C’mon Brit. You know we’re good together.
Brit: Things are good with Elena. I don’t want to f— it up by dredging up old flames.
Michelle: Is that all I am to you?

Michelle moves in for the kill and kisses Brit, dredging up all sorts of flamey things.

After just enough lingering lip action to enjoy it without owning it, Brit breaks off the kiss and pushes Michelle away. Elena is the only one dredging in Brit’s canals these days.

Michelle says tightly, "I’m sorry I came back here — I don’t know what I was thinking," even though she knows damn well what she was thinking: Brit on all fours in the garage.