“Dante’s Cove” Recaps: Episode 3.5 “Naked in the Dark”

The devil made her do it — Back at the no-tell motel, Michelle is finally free of the Shadows’ spell and coming to terms with the naughty things she’s done.

Michelle: My parents … I killed my parents.
Grace: [coldly] Yes, you did. And you also got us into this predicament.
Michelle: I was dead! You brought me back into this hell.
Grace: No, not me. That was Diana’s doing.
Michelle: Van … I have to find Van … she’ll know what to do.
Grace: Van’s dead. Don’t you remember? You killed her, too.

Drat.

Michelle holds her head in her hands and cries, “I can’t be responsible for all this — I am not a murderer!”

Really? I think Van would disagree. And her dad. And her mom. And Marco. And I’m pretty sure Elena has an opinion, too.

Grace has no sympathy for the devil that was Michelle, but Griff, who hasn’t said a word so far, looks at her and says benevolently, “I know.”

Tresum’s alpha pair, Grace and Griff, leaves Michelle to consider all that’s happened. It doesn’t take Michelle long to resolve to make things right. And you can start by burning all your clothes.

Resident evil — Meanwhile at H2Eau, Diana is making Bro listen to her diabolical plans.

Diana: With every mind absorbed by the Shadows, my strength grows. I’m more powerful than I ever was.
Bro: It’s an illusion, Diana. The Shadows are using you — this isn’t your power.
Diana: I always liked you, Ambrosius. I’ll offer you this: freedom from your immortality. Your death will only take a few minutes. Not so for Griff and Grace. I’ll stretch their screams over eons.

Diana bids Bro adieu with a very inappropriate Kiss of Death.

Except Bro doesn’t die; unless you count dying a little inside because lady lips are touching his mouth. It’s not exactly the demise Diana was hoping for.

Suddenly, she clutches her head in pain. Something is wrong. The spiders in Diana’s head are restless. She steps back from Bro and yodels, “Arise!!”

The H2Eau corpses rise from the floor where they lay and fall into formation behind their crazypants Shadow leader as if they’re all about to start dancing. Did someone request “Thriller“?

Diana tells Bro she always envisioned a different kind of death for him, but muses there’s a certain poetry to being torn apart by your own employees. Nice to see being insane has not diminished Diana’s sense of playfulness.

As the necrobarbacks and busboys descend on him, Bro closes his eyes and chants urgently, “Release these bonds, release these bonds, release these bonds,” while wishing he enjoyed the kind of warm employee relations that only a group medical plan can provide.

Just as his disgruntled zombie staff is about to devour him, Bro’s spell kicks in and he disappears in a flash of Tresum light and magic. The zombies, like undead nitwits, claw at the wall where Bro is no longer standing. Diana calls into the night: “There’s no use disappearing! When I catch you, I’m gonna make you burrnnn!”