“Top Chef” Recap: Episode 4.10 “Serve and Protect”

Quickfire: The
salad days of Top Chef.

Elimination: Bad cop, no doughnut.
Padmaism: “Bring salad’s

Another one bites the
dust —
As the chefs prepare for the day’s challenges, Stephanie reflects on
Nikki’s exit.

Stephanie: It’s really
sad to see Nikki go down in flames. You know the stakes are high, and at this
point the chefs lefts are at a really high level.

Everyone is still tired from being up 40-plus hours straight
on the wedding-from-hell catering marathon. The boys’ egos, in particular, are
still bruised. Despite the hug-out, Spike and Dale aren’t going to take
advantage of California’s
newly legalized same-sex marriage anytime soon.

Spike: Dale is a
little bitch. His “I’m not here to make friends” routine, why would
you want to be the outcast and act like an asshole?

Um, takes one to know one?

Dale, in the meantime, doesn’t care that the rest of the
house thinks he is an ass. He is focused on the task at hand. That task is
apparently putting as much hair product on his head as humanly possible.

I swear, now that lesbo-hawk rocking chefbian Jennifer
is out of the competition, the men in the house use more styling products than
the women.

So, who comes along to buck the trend of tiredness and
tension? Oh, come on, you know it’s Andrew.

Andrew: Everyone
in the house is all beat down — except for me who is still all crazy. I woke up
today with a f—ing fire inside my stomach. Like, either I am going to stab
somebody or I’m going to make some amazing food.

Whew. Am I relieved he said “fire” instead of what
else he could have woken up with in the morning. Cough, culinary
boner, cough. Moving on. Quickly.