TV Alert: “So You Think You Can Dance” sashays across your screen

I’m pressing my thighs together in anticipation of all those pretty boys and yummy girls — from ballroom dancers to bellydancers — who’ll start leaping across my screen tonight on Fox (8 pm ET/PT). I don’t do sports (I know, I’m not a “real lesbian”) but I’ll be in front of the tiny screen spilling beer on my cats and cheering for my favorites on So You Think You Can Dance. Watch it with me, ‘k? We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll wonder who does Nigel Lythgoe’s hair. He’s the judge with the droll Brit accent – every reality entertainment show needs one – and he’ll be there every episode, along with judge Mary Murphy.

There are also a host of guests like my TV girlfriend, Emmy winning choreographer Mia Michaels.

But auditions are first. Expect everything from hot hip hop spinning-on-their-heads stuff to dancers who didn’t progress past their first ballet recital at five. I don’t care for the weirdos but hey, if we only had to watch a parade of breathtaking hip-shakin’ salsa dancers, I’d rather be out getting a root canal.