“America’s Next Top Model” Cycle 11 Recaps: Episode 11.4 “You’re Beautiful, Now Change”

Mommie dearest — Back at the model pad, Brittany is talking about her mom and how much she loves her. Elina enters and casually says, “I’ve never loved my mom.” Err, drama in 3…2…1…

When pressed, Elina says her mother may have provided necessities but never really provided love, and that she was never allowed to express emotions, be they good or bad. Man, oh man, this totally explains her need to maintain control over herself at all times and why she generally comes across as a bit of a Stepford Bisexual.

Brittany and Joslyn don’t see it that way, however, and feel that if Elina truly “hates” her mom, then she shouldn’t take all the free room and board from her. I see their point, but family relationships are tricky beasts and no two are alike — sort of like dysfunctional snowflakes.

Brittany goes so far as to call Elina an “evil bitch” and a “psycho,” which is maybe overstating things just a wee bit.

Look what washed up on shore — The models head to the beach and don swimsuits for their first post-makeover photo shoot. Analeigh worries about posing while she lacks confidence, Elina worries about posing while looking like the lead in Annie, and Isis worries about posing while having private no-no parts tuck issues in a bikini.

For once, Jay M isn’t on-set to give the girls constant feedback — they have to work it all on their own.

Hannah struggles to keep her eyes from looking completely insane. Samantha works her new coif nicely, while Brittany tries not to look “just pretty” and Analeigh tries not to be upstaged by a large rock.

Curtain call — It’s time for judgment to be passed on my fair ladies, and I’m just thankful that Tyra’s not dressed up like Sleeping Beauty or something equally as princessy and bizarre.

What is bizarre, however, is the advice she gives Sheena upon seeing her photo: “Toot your booty out” — for a moment I think she’s talking about flatulence and I’ve officially entered the eleventh circle of Hell.

Sheena says she was simply trying to “smile with her eyes” and I love Sheena just a little bit more than I did last week.

Clark’s photo is a bit meh. More than anything, it leaves me wondering how long it will be before Tyra reminds Clark that there are actually two sides to her face. Yeah, everyone on the show has her good side, but geez. It’s not as if she’s Two-Face or something. Clark, I’m sure your right side is just as pretty as your left one.