“Lost Girl” recap (5.1): “You kind of peaked at ‘sack of tits'”

When next we see Dr. Lauren Lewis she is busily running the Marquise Medical Center. What is the Marquis Medical Center? I have absolutely no idea. But, hey, did you know the last name of Evony, the leader of Dark Fae turned human by Lauren’s Magical Vagina, is Marquise? The more you know.

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OK, once again, I have so many questions. When did this center open? Is it funded by the Morrigan? How much time has passed since the season finale because this thing looks fully stocked and operational and it takes more than a hot second to get a medical facility off the ground, right?

Bo arrives with her matching set of Hell Shoes and they exchange meaningful glances filled with concern and probably lust. It’s Bo and Lauren, there’s always a little lust involved. Bo, now in some sort of observation room, rattles off the reasons the Hell Shoe situation is tricky. The last person she saw put them on went on a murder spree and had to be you know what. Killed, it’s killed. I’m concerned as well, but also distracted because, Zoie Palmer, hey girl–long time no see. Your hair looks great.

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Bo gets distracted, too, and starts reminiscing about the time she went back in Dyson’s subconscious and Lauren was there and sang in French and, wait, what were we talking about again?

Lauren asks if she was any good and Bo gives her an A+. I’m going to assume she means more than just her French singing because we all know it’s true. Dr. Lauren Lewis is an A+ student in all aspects of life, particularly those aspects that involve kissing and/or nakedness. Preferably both. Look at Bo’s smile; you know I’m right.

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Bo frets about hurting someone while under the thrall of the Hell Shoes. Can shoes have you in thrall? I don’t know, I’m a lesbian and all my shoes are sensible. Please explain, straight ladies. Lauren says she won’t let it happen and they’ll monitor her carefully the whole time with science things and other stuff that beeps.

Bo puts one of the shoes on, and immediately grabs Lauren by the throat. Then she giggles heartily. Lauren’s face goes through the classic stages of “Oh, Shit, Is My Girlfriend Trying To Kill Me?”

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Any good relationship naturally comes with a healthy dose of fear. Bo was joking, of course, and Lauren gets out a few tepid laughs that try to say, “I wasn’t terrified. Don’t worry. I trust you. Your power never scares me. Hahahahaha!”

But it’s back to business because there are shoes to wear and Kenzis to save. Lauren tells Bo to not put on the other shoe for at least another 20-30 minutes while all the monitors are hooked up. But Bo being Bo, she says she can’t wait those extra few minutes and puts the other shoe on anyway while Lauren chatters on about the precision of rectal thermometer readings. But then she rethinks that method. So not an ass woman–got it.

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The shoes disappear off (or dissolve into–it’s unclear) Bo’s feet and then her brown eyes go blue which means, oh boy, here we go. Lauren commands her to control herself and remember who she is. She tells her to hold her hand because as you know there is no problem that cannot be solved by the power of holding hands.

As they touch a searing white light bursts forth. I thought this might be the source of Lauren’s glowing fist from the Season 5 posters, but she touched her with her left hand. Her Magical Glow Fist is in her right hand in the promo.

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