“Lost Girl” recap (5.1): “You kind of peaked at ‘sack of tits'”

Bo is checking out the wedding venue. She is such an attentive maid of honor. But the bachelorette will have to wait because Mean Valkyrie Stacey arrives. Bo pumps her (not in that way, what is wrong with you?) for information about Hale. He is on his way over the beef roast, or whatever, and even had a white fedora made for the occasion. So it’s him. But that doesn’t mean there won’t still be complications.

One of them has chased Kenzi up to her hotel room. She does a full Jack Nicholson in The Shining on the door, complete with a “Heeeeeere’s Tami!” Subtle? No. Effective? Yes.

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Just then, Bo arrives. You might want to get some popcorn, this is gonna be some first-rate entertainment. Bo and Tamsin smackdowns are my favorite.

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It does not disappoint, with some excellent axe wielding and elbows to the chin. But Bo doesn’t want to hurt Tamsin, she just wants her to act like Tamsin again. A little love touch to the throat does the trick and all the fight goes out of our Valkyrie.

Through tears Tamsin tells Bo she doesn’t want her to see her like this. This is what she does in Valhalla, and it isn’t pretty. Poor noble, ruthless Valkyrie. But she confesses that the happiness Bo felt when she fed off her wasn’t from any booty call with Dyson, but that for the first time in all her lives she has a family. And she doesn’t want to live her last life without her. Yeah, just Rachel Skarsten killing it.

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The big blue phone rings again and it’s him. No, not the dumb, pointless Wanderer, but the real man who hired her to deliver Bo. But Bo says he can leave a message because she has a wedding to attend, dammit.

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Ever the dutiful maid of honor, she give Kenz her something old, new, borrowed and blue. They are, respectively, a handkerchief from Joan of Arc, matches from the gift shop, Bo’s leg holstered knife and–OK, she doesn’t have something blue. But, wait, yes she does. Blaze them baby blues, lady. Kenzi corrects her, obvs.

Then they get to the “I love you, man” part of the pre-wedding. You saved me. No, you saved me. I love you. No, I love you. I want you to be happy. No, I want you to be happy. Tears, hugs, lady feelings. I’m not going to lie, because it’s a sin to do in recaps and also leads to run-on sentences, for a minute I was really worried Kenzi would stay. This is her shot at happiness. The brass ring. The sunset ride. Maybe Kenzi should stay in heaven – stupid, luxurious heaven.

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