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“Glee” recap (6.3): To infinity, and beyond

Damnit Glee. I wasn’t expecting “Jagged Little Tapestry” to reach in my heart, and fill it to the brim with glitter. But you did it. You made me believe in Glee again. This week’s episode harkened back to Season 2, not only with its numerous parallels, but by being the smart, funny and oh so touching show Glee used to be. Ok, well enough gushiness (for now), let’s get down to business.

Kurt has been having a rough time since he got back to Lima. Mission: Win Back Blaine has hit a roadblock in the form of one, Dave Karofsky. While I have no doubt that Kurt and Blaine are endgame, it doesn’t make it any less painful to see Kurt struggle with heartbreak. While searching for new music at one of Lima’s many music stores, Kurt and Blaine run into each other. Karofsky is there too, his arm wrapped around Blaine’s shoulders, a smile plastered on his face. Running into your ex is hard enough, but when they are with their new boo, it’s practically unbearable. The blood rushes from Kurt’s face, and you can practically feel his throat tighten, and his stomach roil as he has to face the couple. Naturally, Kurt and Blaine burst into song to deal with their feelings. “It’s Too Late” by Carole King is the perfect lament for a love affair ended too soon, and Klaine sound beautiful together as usual. Blaine’s longing, sad looks at Kurt do not go unnoticed by anyone except maybe Karofsky.

The next day in the choir room, inspired by his Carole King-ing, Kurt suggests the Glee club take on her masterful album, Tapestry. While Rachel thinks it’s a great idea, she’s feeling a more mid-’90s angst, and wants to go with Alanis Morissette‘s breakthrough album, Jagged Little Pill. Kurt wants to broaden the glee club’s musical education, but Rachel is still stuck on her frustration of not being solely in control. She’s worried that their partnership will negatively affect their friendship. Kurt suggests mashing the two albums together, and Rachel loves the idea.

Sam is ironing jockstraps (a phrase I never expected I’d have to write one day) when Coach Beiste comes in, after being sick all night. The Coach gives Sam props for all the hard work he’s put in, and reminds Sam that the team likes and respects him. Sam reveals that it’s his dream to take over as coach one day. Is this news to anyone else? Sam expresses his concern about Coach Beiste’s absence at practices lately, and the coach fires back that people should mind their business. “Post Gay” Spencer comes in to ask Coach Beiste about trying for quarterback, and it doesn’t go over well at all.

It’s the first official glee club rehearsal, and the OGs (Quinn, Puck, Santana, Brittany, and Tina) have stuck around to “help” another week. Apparently the Air Force, Yale and Brown have very flexible time off schedules. It’s finally revealed that Brittany possesses the ability to bend time and space. Either that, or they have accumulated a shit ton of frequent flyer miles. Rachel and Kurt, still working out the kinks of their partnership, talk over each other and generally make it a little awkward in the choir room.

After choosing whether that are Team Carole or Team Alanis, the glee club members are supposed to find someone from the opposite team and mash. It. Up. Since Kurt and Rachel still can’t figure out what the other is trying to do, Santana offers to duet with Brittany the next day as an example. Genius.

Quinn and Tina are debating the finer points of Ivy League schools, when they run into Becky. Becky is even more punchy than usual, because she’s met her dream guy at college, and she’s worried that he will find out that she lied about all of her high school accomplishments, including being in New Directions. Quinn, who looks not unlike she was carved out of marble, and Tina (whose hair is on point!) offer to help Becky out.

After a mad scissoring session, Santana and Brittany lie together on Brittany’s bed in post coital bliss. Remember when we first saw Brittana together, talking about sweet lady kisses and scissoring in Season 2? Santana was still firmly in the closet, and quick to dismiss her feelings for Brittany as anything but physical. Here we are, four seasons later, and Santana is openly expressing her infinite love for her girlfriend. Holy hell, Glee! Is this…continuity we are seeing? Brittana sip champagne while they discuss their mash up. Santana suggests, “I Feel the Earth Move” and “Hand in My Pocket” and Brittany agrees, shooting the biggest heart eyes at Santana possible. Santana asks Brittany to move back to New York with her so they can get their college degrees, and live in a tiny studio apartment of bliss.

“Living my life with you is one of the few things that’s actually as good in real life as it is in my imagination,” Santana tells her. Brittany has her own feelings on the matter as well. “As a math genius, I am one of the few people who understands the concept of infinity, and I will love you to infinity.” It’s a beautiful moment, in a show where moments like these have been few and far between. This scene is deliciously languid, with honey-tongued dialogue; it almost feels like one of Santana’s dreams. In a way, it kind of is.

Sue Sylvester is impressed with Becky’s photoshopping and deception skills, but Becky is feeling guilty that she lied to her boyfriend Daryl about all being the President of every club at school. Sue is thrilled to meet Becky’s fellow, however, he’s not at all what she’s expecting.

When Sue finds out that Daryl does not have Down Syndrome, or attend the college that Becky does, she is suspicious of his intentions and goes all mama bear.

In the choir room, Santana and Brittany launch into the most upbeat cover of an Alanis Morissette song ever. They adorably bounce about singing their mash up, as Brittany wears a shirt with over easy eggs on her boobs. Yup. Also, once again, Heather Morris’ voice has really come a long way, and she and Naya really have a great time with this duet. At the end, Santana asks Brittany to take a seat in front of everyone. (Hold on to your hearts, people.)

“So, I figure that this is as good a place as any to ask you this question. Mainly because it’s gonna really upset all the single guys and gals in here, but I want to mash-up with you forever, Britt. I mean, some people love someone because they make them a better person and that’s not why I love you, because you’ve always just wanted me to be myself. You’re my favorite person in the whole world. And we’re a big deal, you know. Like no matter how many times we’ve tried to put our thing down and walk away from it we can’t, because, I don’t wanna live my life without my one true love. I normally say a lot of words when I’m saying something negative, so since this is the most positive thing I’m ever gonna do, I’m gonna keep it simple. Brittany S. Pierce, will you marry me?”

Yes. That is of course, Brittany’s answer, but so much yes. Santana’s words describe true love to a T. Love isn’t about changing people, it’s about embracing who they are. We don’t go into love hoping to find someone to fix us. We go into it, hoping beyond hope, that that person can find us lovable the way we are. The fact that Brittany and Santana have never asked or desired for the other to bend or change, is what makes them soul mates. Soul mates is about finding that rare, perfect fusion. It’s not a phrase to be bandied about lightly. It doesn’t happen to everyone, and when it does, it’s a gift beyond measure. Ladies and gentlemen, these two are soul mates.

And everyone agrees! Well, almost everyone. Kurt is compelled to stand up and offer his opinion on the union. He brings up his relationship with Blaine as an example of how they are all too young to get married. However, he’s the lone dissenting voice. Christ, even Tina is a Team Brittana. Santana holds it together while everyone offers their congratulations, but she shoots Kurt a look that warns him that his outburst, will not go unaddressed. Snix is just getting warmed up.

Spencer approaches Sue about his concerns with Coach Beiste. Apparently he’s been spying on Beiste and noticed the Coach wearing a binder (he thought it was just a tight tank top) and taking a bunch of pills. More than anything, Sue is impressed with Spencer’s sleuthing skills. A “post-gay” Hardy boy, if you will. Before he leaves, Spencer throws his support in Sam’s direction.

Rachel follows a distressed Kurt out into the hallway. Kurt’s broken heart is making him project his feelings onto Santana and Brittany a little too much. Santana stops them both in the hall. Santana did not take kindly to having her proposal questioned, and what follows is probably the most searing diatribe that Santana has ever delivered.

“Kurt, I took what you said to heart and I thought long and hard about it, and it occurred to me that you may have a point. Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that’s why it didn’t work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn’t work out because you are a judgmental little gerontophile with a mouth like a cat’s ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing a shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay right’s movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together, or farted. Maybe Blaine didn’t wanna be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smiled, or someone who doesn’t dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick’s more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen pass to entertain exactly no one with, say some song Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of, or some sassy, old Broadway standard made famous by another dead, alcoholic crone. Maybe Blaine woke up some day and said ‘You know what? I don’t wanna marry a sexless, self-centered baton twirler. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: the finger wag, the shoulder shimmy, and the one where you pretend to twirl to invisible rainbow colored ribbons attached to your hips.’ So you know what? Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it’s just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it.”

Whoa. Let’s be clear about a few things here, because this scene caused a big stir in the Glee fandom. Some fans were concerned that is was a way of insulting the actor himself, but Chris Colfer is a class act, and there’s no way that this monologue would have happened if he wasn’t OK with it. He’s adored by fans and the Glee writers as well, and it’s important to remember that Chris is not Kurt. Glee has always been about digging into the places where we are most uncomfortable, and Santana is often the conduit for these things. Glee is also making fun of itself here, and calling attention to the pedestals we often put characters on. Kurt isn’t perfect, but he’s amazing in so many ways. Santana is Glee‘s truthsayer, and she’s callously laid into every character in Glee, with the exception of Brittany. Remember her caustic hall speech to Finn, or the many times she’s given Rachel Berry the what for? She can be cruel, and this monologue to Kurt is possibly one of her cruelest. Her goal isn’t enlightenment, it’s devastation. However, it’s rare that a character on the receiving end of one of her takedowns hasn’t found a kernel of truth in between the barbs, and used that to rise above. Was she too hard on Kurt? Sure. Was everything she said the truth? Hell no. Will Kurt bounce back, better than ever? Absolutely. That’s how this works. Also, from a strictly talent-wise perspective, the timing, and delivery on this monologue should score Naya Rivera an Emmy nod.After his unpleasant experience with Santana, Kurt goes to the softer side of Brittana, and tries to have a heart to heart with Brittany. She’s busy building a giant heart out of Mounds bars (“the lesbian of candy”) for her new fiancĂ©. Brittany, who don’t forget is a mathematical genius, has calculated how many minutes she and Santana have spent together, and there as many Mounds bars as minutes of their love story. Which means, seven Mounds bars. Ha, sorry, just kidding. That’s only for us. For them it’s been much longer. Kurt apologized for raining on Brittana’s parade, and offers his support.

Kurt: You remind me of Blaine and me.

Brittany: Except that she and I are actually still together.

Kurt: I like to think that we are on a hiatus.

Brittany: And I like to think that Lord Tubbington isn’t secretly videotaping me while I’m in the shower and selling it on Craigslist. Doesn’t make it true.

Oh, Britt. You magical unicorn, you. While Brittany is doling out the hard truths too, at least she’s easier for Kurt to talk to. Brittany decides to break the news that Blaine and Karofsky are moving in together. Kurt’s shocked and there aren’t enough Mounds bars in the world to make that sting go away. Brittany even helped decorate their bedroom. It looks like a rainbow puked into a Sherwin Williams paint can.

She encourages Kurt to start dating and find someone who appreciates the wonderful, quirky person he is. He admits that if he takes a step to move on, then that means it really is over, and he’s not ready to do that. Britt gets it. She fought for Santana too. However, she cautions him, in her own way, to not be the guy standing alone with a handful of melted chocolate.

It’s not just Sue who is dubious about Becky’s new boyfriend. Quinn, Tina and Coach Roz all gang up on him, demanding to know why he sought Becky out. While their concern comes from a loving place, it turns out that Darrell thinks Becky is fun, and likes spending time with her. When they push him about their physical relationship, he admits that he and Becky have not had sex yet, but they may someday. He thinks that the women are projecting their own misconceptions about people with DS onto him. Becky is just like other girls, and he likes her the way she is. His speech really takes Sue and the others aback.

It’s finally time for the New Directions kids to get in on the mashups, so Jane and Mason sing a beautifully duet of “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” and “Head Over Feet.” Their blend is killer and methinks there are some sparks happening there as well.

While the two newbies make beautiful music, Kurt is transported back to his happier days with Blaine. His heart is heavy once Jane and Mason finish their song. Rachel is thrilled with the performance, but Kurt stands up and critiques them big time. He also reminds Rachel of what they are going up against in competition. Rachel is not happy about what Kurt has to say (even though he’s right) and sends him home.

Sue waltzes into Coach Beiste’s office armed with some very serious concern and intel. Sue riffled through the coach’s drawers and found some serious meds, including steroids. Sue suspects cancer, and Coach Beiste says yes. Sue promises her support, but we all know the meds are for an entire other reason altogether.

Back in the choir room, Tina and Quinn prep Becky for their number, with Darrell watching. They start singing Carole King’s “So Far Away” but Becky runs out before they can get to the second verse. Tina, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany follow her to offer their support. They all admit to lying to people in relationships. Quinn told Finn he knocked her up, Tina pretended to have a stutter, Santana lied about being straight, and Brittany misrepresented the amount of actual vaginas she has.

They encourage Becky to be herself, and let go of the lies. Santana tells Becky that she can be challenging with all the calling people “bitches” and generally being pretty surly, but Darrell really seems to care for her. Quinn tells her to take a chance that Darrell would like her, major accomplishments or not. Becky is touched. “Thanks guys. You are mostly stupid bitches, but you’re pretty cool, too.”

Kurt finds Rachel and is all apologies, but she’s already let their argument go. Kurt is self aware enough to know that his broken heart is making him take out his sadness on others. This is one of the things about Kurt that I love. He’s not afraid to explore his feelings and try to grow from his experiences. Rachel knows Kurt had a point. They do need to be more critical, and it will take a lot of hard work to get the New Directions to nationals. She officially asks him to be her co-captain.

Coach Beiste and Sue call Sam in for a meeting. Coach Beiste can’t take the lies and hiding anymore and admits that the cancer thing wasn’t true. Beiste comes clean and tells Sue and Sam that he will begin the official legal process of transitioning to male. Sam mistakenly thinks that means that Coach Beiste is a lesbian, but he kindly sets Sam straight that it’s not about sexuality, but gender. Sam points out that this has all kind of come out of nowhere, but Coach Beiste tells him that it’s been a long time coming for him.

“Growing up, I was really confused. I thought I was just a tomboy, so I got into sports, started coaching football, wrestled hogs in my free time…but no matter what I did, I never felt at home in my own skin. I never felt like my body fit who I was on the inside. I don’t hate being a woman, and I don’t regret the things I’ve been through because they’ve made me the person I am today. A person strong enough to go through with this transition. I gotta do it for my own piece of mind. I’ve gotta get my body in alignment with how I see myself.”

Both Sam and Coach Beiste stand and look at each other, with tears in their eyes. Coach asks Sam to take over while he’s out getting top surgery, and starts the process of taking testosterone. Sue stops Coach Beiste, and lets him know that if he wants to return to McKinley when he’s ready, that his coaching job will still be there. Coach Beiste is relieved, and they all hug it out. Coach Beiste is taking a brave step towards being his authentic self, and it’s so wonderful to see him being embraced. Hopefully Glee will see this important storyline through with grace and care, especially since they seriously dropped the ball when it came to Unique’s story, which is still one of my greatest disappointments with Glee.

Also coming clean is Becky, who admits to Darrell that she’s not been completely honest with him. He takes it well, and kind of had a clue when Becky tried to claim membership to a boy band from the ’90s. He knows they will face opposition and he wants her to know that he has her back, something Becky’s never had from a love interest. They share a strawberry milkshake…well, until Becky tosses it to the floor. Ah Breadstix.

Now a powerful force to be reckoned with, Kurt and Rachel are ready to shape New Directions into a powerhouse glee club. The whole ensemble sings “You Learn” mashed with “You’ve Got a Friend” and it’s fucking glorious. Kurt and Santana have even made up by then. The words to the mashup pretty much nail what this crazy mixed up existence is all about.

“You live, you learn. You love, you learn. You cry, you learn. You lose, you learn.”

I have learned a lot from Glee over the years. It’s touched me, infuriated me, made me take to the intertubes in frustration, left me in stitches and in shambles. This week’s episode felt like a connection with the heart of what Glee was always about. Acceptance, love and friendship. I’m walking away with a rekindled love for Glee. It’s not a perfect love, but it’s in my heart, and I’m happy it’s there.

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