Styled Out: “The L Word” spawns fashion fans and victims

With the final season of The L Word looming, it’s time we reflected on the signature looks that built the characters we know, love and will miss from the first lesbian-focused series of our time. It’s gotten to the point that when engaged in a “serious” conversation with another fan, I refer to and gossip about the characters as if they’re on the branches of my own social circle, so it’s only natural that I should dish about their clothes to you.

Tina should get the award for “Most Improved Style” at series end. She’s come leaps and bounds from Season 1’s “Earth mother” look, and worlds away from when she played a butch lesbian named Randy in The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love.

But it seems as though this season she’s taking tips from Bette’s stylist. What is with the mom hair? It’s horrifying. I am, however, a fan of the glammed-out power executive look that she adopted last season. It’s totally working for her and I think that confidence is part of what won Bette back. She is just taking it too far by mimicking Bette’s hair.

On to Shane. Oh, the many phases we’ve gone through with the one true heartthrob of our beloved soap opera. I don’t think anyone can forget the pilot episode’s leather vest get-up as she strolled up to Bette and Tina, quietly sitting on their front porch.

It has to be said that out of any lesbian character on the show, there has never been such an onslaught of flattery, and by that I mean about half the nation’s lesbians straight-up stealing her look to get laid. The best part is that it’s still going on. Initially it was hot because it was like this hot dream girl coming to life. Sometimes it was delivered well, sometimes it was a bit of a stretch, but regardless, there was this lure.

The best Shanes back in the day adopted her attitude as well. Now I just find it hilarious when baby dykes step out of the closet in a painfully obvious replication of her dark-lined eyes. It’s so emo that it’s entertaining. However, I would never turn my nose up at a girl in her panties “looking very Shane, today.”

I have, admittedly, always been a fan of Jenny’s closet. Other than a few exceptions, her wardrobe is actually the one that I have envied most. It’s like vixen mixed with elements of glitter and torrid faeries and most of her dresses are kind of my dream. It’s too bad her personality is so vile because it totally clashes with the magic of her thigh-high wool socks.

I don’t think anyone can deny the class act that is Alice. She is another one who rarely disappoints on the clothing front. She’s snappy and streamlined in most everything she does, and her stylist did a great job of matching her mood to her threads while she was in the pits of despair over Dana (R.I.P.).

If I remember correctly, Dana always loved the way Alice’s breasts looked in those snappy little button-ups of hers and told her so. One of my favorite ensembles was Alice’s dress paired with a perfectly formed finger wave that she wore for Dana and Tanya’s bachelorette party. It’s all I can do not to sigh out loud while writing about it.

While I have little to say about Bette’s previously applauded wardrobe, I could go on forever about her horrendous hair choices. I deliberated pretty long and hard over this, but Season 5 took the cake for Bette’s worst hairstyle. She looked like some sort of washed-up old maid; it was total barf city.

In Steel Magnolias Shelby referred to her mother’s coif as a brown football helmet, and that pretty much sums up the horror of a hairstyle that Bette wore while dating Jodi (and don’t even get me started with Jodi’s ’90s jeans). This girl that I hung out with for a minute was obsessed with Bette and I could never get over the hair, so therefore could never understand the sexual attraction, but nevertheless, she gets four stars for having great taste in suits.

Who do you think is best dressed on The L Word? Do you emulate any of their styles?