Sisters, Secrets and Scorpions! “Orphan Black” Season 3 teasers

Good news, Clonesbians: Orphan Black teasers are back!

And just like last year, I’ve been decoding the secret binary messages in them so you don’t have to. Below I will be talking about each of the teasers, including the answers to riddles, so if you want to solve it yourself, go to the BBC America YouTube page and work on the puzzles before coming back here to process with us. If you prefer your spoilers and previews delivered to you on a silver platter, continue on.

Teaser #1: Sarah

Her mantra: I am not your property. 

Her binary: Some bathtubs are bloody. All blood is suspicious. Conclusion: Some bathtubs are suspicious. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: True

Things we learned: Sarah will meet one of the boyclones. And he will be looking at her with wild eyes and then dare call her “the wild one.”

How we feel: Terrified. But the way she says, “I’m not with DYAD” makes me want to start a revolution.

Teaser #2: Alison

Her mantra: I am not your toy.

Her binary: Some products are hypoallergenic. All soaps are hypoallergenic. Conclusion: All products are soap. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: False

Things we learned: She ain’t afraid of no clone. Alison is too busy coaching her kids’ soccer team to worry about the existence of boyclones and their threats. She has guns. And a craft room.

How we feel: Amused. I love that Alison is in complete denial about the seriousness of their situation. In true suburban housewife fashion, she’s pretending that absolutely nothing is wrong, hoping if she ignores it, it will go away.

Teaser #3: Helena

Her mantra: I am not your weapon.

Her binary: Some scorpions are predators. No predator is a pet. Conclusion: Some scorpions pets. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: False (unless you’re using Helena!Logic.)

Things we learned: Helena’s kidnappers have her in a cage and she does not look like she’s holding up well, physically. She seems to be her old self emotionally. Threatening people and making fun sound effects.

How we feel: Vengeful. Even though Helena started out on our bad side, that precious little psychopath has won her way into our hearts. We went from wanting to protect our favorite clones from her to wanting to protect her right alongside them. I’m hoping these jerkfaces go up in flames like the Prolethean Plantation.

Teaser #4: Cosima

Her mantra: I am not your experiment.

Her binary: No organ functions without oxygen. Some organs are brains. Conclusion: Some brains function without oxygen. True or False?

The answer to the logic puzzle: False.

Things we learned: Cosima will elicit Scott’s help to decode the book Kira got from Professor Duncan, but won’t tell her fellow clones (who she calls her sisters! my heart!) until they figure out what it means.

How we feel: Stressed. The clones have 99 problems and secrets are at least 95 of them, so I’m not sure keeping anything from Sara and Alison is really in Cosima’s best interest.