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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (December 12, 2008)

ILENE AND SHOWTIME SPOIL THEIR OWN SHOW When is a spoiler not a spoiler? When Showtime spills its own beans six weeks before the episode in question even airs.

As news of The D Word on The L Word has spread, the question on everyone’s mind was who would be this season’s big death. Last week, we spoiled all who were willing to be spoiled.

But now Ilene Chaiken has gone and one-upped us: She released the damn video. Since this is still, technically, a spoiler, please consider this your SPOILER ALERT. As in, if you want to go into Season Six as blind as those three mice whose tails had an unfortunate encounter with a carving knife, then stop reading now. And whatever you do, don’t click “play” because Showtime’s latest promo is the first two minutes of the season premiere, which clearly shows the dearly departed.  

Hello, dead Jenny in the middle of the living room. What? No one thought to cover her up with a blanket? Or maybe a body bag? Nah, let’s just parade her right through the middle of the house for everyone – including children – to see. That’s not traumatic or realistic or anything. We’ve already discussed the merits, or demerits, of the Death of Jenny (or DOJ, as I like to call it, because it shares the same initials as the Department of Justice and I’m a fan of irony). So what perplexes me now is why Ilene and Showtime would officially let this cat out of the bag so early.

Even the video spoils its own mystery by including the blaring headline “Jenny is dead!” What, they didn’t trust people would wait two minutes for an answer? Showtime also contacted media outlets, complete with a picture of Mia Kirshner, to make sure anyone who had somehow managed to stay unspoiled was now totally, completely screwed. The story ran on sites like Yahoo, MSNBC, TV.com and many others, largely without spoiler warnings attached. The news also got picked up by the Associated Press, which means newspapers across the country could use the image and article, putting the proverbial nail in the coffin of any and all suspense. Now, I guess this wholesale spoiling of the spoiler could have been a response to the leaks. This could be their proverbial throwing up of hands: “Everyone knows already, screw it!” But I feel like this was always the plan. Other promos showed the distraught party guests while stopping short of revealing the deceased. But anyone with sharp eyes and deductive reasoning skills could see that the only people not present and accounted for were Jenny and Tasha. Way to narrow it down to a coin flip.

Instead, I think Ilene & Co. really did intend to make this season a giant game of Lesbian Clue where we’ve already found the body and now just have the whodunit left to solve. Which, of course, is why we all started watching The L Word in the first place – the crime solving. It’s hard to think how the DOJ can play out in a way that is even remotely satisfying for fans. Either we see someone (probably Alice, given the spoilers about her spinoff) get taken away in handcuffs. Or we see a sad, crazy, suicidal lesbian floating dead in the pool.

Frankly, I can think of only one scenario that would work. And from all that yapping in the preview, I could be onto something. You heard it here first, ladies: Sounder did it. So, what do you make of Showtime spoiling the spoilers? Though, as our returning TLW recapper Scribegrrrl aptly quipped, “You can’t spoil what is already ruined.” And, seriously, will someone please get a sheet and cover poor dead Jenny? We might not be able to respect the storyline, but we can at least respect the dead.

NOTE: Because this is still, technically, a spoiler post, please NO SPOILERS IN COMMENT SUBJECT LINES. Also, be sure to fill in your subject lines (otherwise they will default to your first sentence). If you can’t think of anything, might I suggest, “It was Mama Chaiken, in the study, with the candlestick.”

by Dorothy Snarker

CALLIE GETS A NEW LOVE INTEREST There must be a list of names somewhere, floating around Hollywood, that details what actresses will and won’t do same-sex love scenes.

Janina Gavankar – yes Rosanna Arquette – yes Angie Harmon – probably not Jessica Capshaw – yes
It seems that the casting directors of The L Word and Grey’s Anatomy both select from the same pool of women who are into kissing other women on screen.

Though Janina didn’t have much face time on Grey’s, and certainly not any make-out scenes, E! Online is reporting that Jessica Capshaw has been cast as a new love interest for Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez). You may remember Jessica as Bette’s TA who was hot for teacher. The tough job of making out with Sara Ramirez is now Capshaw’s, for at least three episodes beginning in January. She plays pediatrician Dr. Arizona Robbins, who is at Seattle Grace to help Bailey with a case.

It seems as if Melissa George is truly off the hook for now. Things change quickly around these parts, though, so I wouldn’t get too comfortable if I were her.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK NO. 1 “I like to imagine that Dr. Hahn is at a hospital that appreciates her, that maybe [Seattle Grace] wasn’t the right place for her.”

Editor’s note: Starting next week, we’ll be running this as a video series on AfterEllen.com, so look for the second episode here on Monday.

– by the linster

REMEMBERING DOROTHY PORTER AE readers Sashi and Gemma tipped us off that out Australian poet and author Dorothy Porter died of breast cancer this week at the age of 54.

Dorothy is perhaps best known for her 1994 novel The Monkey’s Mask, which was later made into a film starring Kelly McGillis, but she is widely respected among Australians, and literary critics around the world, for several works. A versatile and popular writer (she wrote critically acclaimed poetry, young adult fiction, crime fiction, and music lyrics), Porter was working on a rock opera at the time of her death. Dorothy lived with her partner, Australian novelist Andrea Goldsmith, in Melbourne.

JON STEWART DOES IT AGAIN Earlier this week, Jon Stewart took on Gov. Mike Huckabee about gay marriage on The Daily Show, refuting his argument about “not redefining gay marriage” by pointing out that marriage has been continually redefined over the centuries. Huckabee keeps going back to the tired argument about not wanting to redefine the word “marriage,” and Jon keeps trying to pin him down on why that matters so much.

Worst quote of the interview? Huckabee responding to Jon’s point about interracial marriage once being illegal with the assertion, “there’s a big difference between a person being black and a person practicing a lifestyle.” (Jon’s response is an innovative one – that religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality is, and religious folks gets lots of rights and protections.)

Best quote? Jon telling Huckabee, “It’s a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.”

Second best quote? “I would suggest that a loving gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline any day.” Amen!

Watch it for yourself here:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM – Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

 

by Sarah Warn

GOING OUT IN STYLE Tonight The N airs the final episode of South of Nowhere, the teen show that was technically an ensemble drama but was really all about the relationship between Spencer (Gabrielle Christian) and Ashley (Mandy Musgrave) as they progressed from friends to lovers, to ex’s, to lovers again. Throw in a homophobic-turned-accepting mom (Maeve Quinlan), an ex-boyfriend to stir things up (Matt Cohen), and siblings with issues, and you have all the makings of a good angsty teen lesbian romance.

The show definitely jumped the shark in the third season (if not the second), but for awhile there, we actually had an interesting, edgy show about a lesbian teen relationship, and it was good.

Thanks to all the showrunners, writers, producers, directors, and actors who made the world a little better for queer teens.

Given the finale, it’s fitting that GLAAD should roll out its new PSA today, starring Gaby and Maeve (and Lauren Collins and Adam Ruggiero from Degrassi: Next Generation) talking about the importance of being friends with gay people (well, that’s not exactly what it says, but you get the idea). This PSA is one of 22 new spots which will appear on national cable networks and local affiliates throughout 2009.

Watch it here now:  

The style is a little too formal for my taste, but the sentiment is terrific. I wish there had been PSAs on TV like this when I was a teenager! But I just got images of eggs sizzling in a skillet with an ominous voice saying, “this is your brain on drugs.” If Maeve and Gaby had been frying the eggs, I might have paid more attention.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK NO. 3 “…that was some really good work that happened there.”

Mandy Musgrave (South of Nowhere) on her “make-out, throw-her-down-on-the-table scene” with Gabrielle Christian in a yet-to-be-seen episode of Angela Robinson‘s web series Girltrash, in her AfterEllen.com interview. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Bravo has renewed Tabatha’s Salon Takeover.

Showtime is developing a reality show about coming out.

Rachel Maddow‘s recent interview with Huckabee is generating some discussion among bloggers about her responsibility when it comes to covering gay issues. Read these thoughtful and divergent takes on the topic: Pam’s House Blend, Feministing, Tami’s blog.

As chair of the White House’s Council on Environmental Quality, Nancy Sutley will be the first high-level openly gay official appointed by Barack Obama.

We’ll be posting a new Zurich episode of You Can’t Take Them Anywhere! later this afternoon (Friday), but first, look for a Very Special Episode of Cat on the Prowl with Very Special Guest: she’s one of this year’s Golden Globe nominees; she’s had more than one woman fall in love with her on screen (and probably off-screen, too); and I realized I was gay while watching one of her movies. Commence guessing in the comments! It’s Mary-Louise Parker!

by Sarah Warn

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

– former Grey’s Anatomy lesbian Brooke Smith to TVGuide.com at the Trevor Project’s annual Cracked Xmas Gala.

– by Trish Bendix

BISEXUAL 90210 CHEERLEADER GETS A GIRLFRIEND When Lauren London guest-starred as cheerleader Christina Worthy on 90210 this season, she gave a drive-by shout out to her bisexuality.

This week it was reported that London will be back when the season returns – and this time she’s got a girlfriend. The skeptical part of you is probably yawning and saying, “Oh, wow, and just in time for sweeps, too.” Or maybe, “Still being billed as a guest-star, I see. I guess that’s so she can disappear into thin air when the Very Special Episodes are over.”

Or even more likely, “Wow, has this show not been canceled yet?”

I understand the reluctance to jump up and down, especially after the lesbian community has been burned so badly by network TV this year, but a teenage bisexual woman of color isn’t exactly something you see every day on television, so I say it’s probably a good thing. Sources close to the show say even though Christina Worthy has a girlfriend, she’ll still be holding a candle for Dixon (Tristan Wilds), which you can see in this clip below.  

Yep, there go my skepticism sensors, too. Bisexuality is not a code name for promiscuity, TV writers!

90210 will be back on The CW on Jan. 6 .

– by StuntDouble

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK NO. 2 “Being topped in a hard-core sex scene by Ann Coulter and Cindy McCain – all the while being watched by a mime in clown makeup playing the flute.”

– out comedian Lea Delaria to Out.com in response to the question “What’s your version of Hell?”

WE HAVE PLENTY OF BONES TO PICK ABOUT THE END OF ANGELA AND ROXIE December means many things. Holidays decorations. Hot cocoa. Hellish parking at the mall. But for lesbian and bisexual female TV viewers, it also means all the same-sex relationships they’ve watched in November are well on the road back to heteroville. So, then, it should come as no surprise that on Bones, Angela and Roxie will soon call it quits. According to EW.com’s Ask Ausiello, the end is near for the former college flames. He reports:

The new Muslim intern I mentioned above makes Angela a soothing mix tape after her heart is broken by Roxie. Coincidentally, (Bones creator) Hart Hanson tells me that the Angela/Hodgins love story is not over. “We’re not done with them,” he says. “But they have some obstacles to overcome.”
Roxie first appeared on Nov. 5 and with the show is on hiatus until Jan. 15, we won’t see the beginning of the end until then. Sure, we all expected their Angela and Roxie’s sweeps month romance to be brief. But that doesn’t make it any less disappointing for it to be over and for Angela to be back to the fellas. Granted, that is the nature of bisexuality – gender doesn’t matter only attraction and love. But I can’t help but feel exploited by television producers’ use of bisexual female characters on TV this season. First on Grey’s Anatomy, Callica has one of the most ridiculously abrupt ending in the history of ridiculously abrupt same-sex couples breakups on television. Then on House, Thirteen equates self-destructive behavior with her bisexuality. And now on Bones, Angela has taken what was a promising and tender portrayal of two women falling back in love and detoured it right on back to the safe straight relationship. Gee, where have I seen that before? Oh, wait, it was earlier this week when Thirteen and Foreman made “Foreteen” a reality by kissing next to the Christmas tree. Ugh, talk about your Snoreteen. Just, well, blerg. This being December and all, perhaps I should rethink my wish list. In fact, this year I’m only going to ask for one thing. Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a positive, long-term portrayal of a same-sex female relationship on TV.

Oh, and also maybe Tina Fey‘s phone number. What? We’re dreaming big here, people.

ELLEN MAKES HER COVERGIRL DEBUT Ellen DeGeneres has had, by all accounts, a banner year. She beat Oprah. She won even more Emmys. She got married.

And now, just in time for the holidays, come the first shots of her new CoverGirl campaign. Say what you will about the cosmetics industry and its practices (and I have and do, often), but I think it’s a coup for a very out, somewhat butch lesbian to be the new face of CoverGirl. I think lipstick and Chapstick lesbians alike win when the beauty norms bend enough to embrace one of our own.

Ellen, who turned 50 this year, will be the face of the new Simply Ageless Foundation. I like that the campaign left her in her signature pants and jackets. I also like that Ellen has brought her ever-present good humor to her new gig. As she told Elle:

I’m thrilled to be a CoverGirl. I’ve been practicing in my bathroom mirror for years… Now finally, you’ll all be able to see it.
Ellen’s CoverGirl ads will begin airing on TV next month. Now if only she’d break out her Blue Steel the campaign would be perfect.

by Dorothy Snarker

EW SNUBS ELLEN DEGENERES Entertainment Weekly just published its list of “The 25 Smartest People in TV” and The Hollywood Reporter gave us their “Power 100 Women in Entertainment” list. Now, I could delve into a philosophical discussion of the differences between “smart” and “powerful,” but I’m not feeling that philosophical right now.

So I’ll just point out the most glaring omission from both lists. How is it possible that Ellen dos not appear in either list? I still don’t really understand how Entertainment Weekly defines “smart” – it seems to be some combination of successful and savvy – but I have to believe that Ellen fits their definition. I mean, she came back from oblivion to helm a highly rated talk show that’s won 25 Daytime Emmy Awards.

I would think this would make her powerful as well. She’s not just the star of her show, she’s an executive producer. She was also the second woman to host the Academy Awards as a solo gig. Plus she’s got a hot, blond wife, which is certainly a symbol of power in Hollywood. The Ellen omission aside, these lists are pretty interesting, and the female representation on the Entertainment Weekly list is amazing for them. (Women comprise 45% of this list and 30% of the top 10.) And not surprisingly, there’s a fair amount of overlap between the two lists.

AfterEllen.com favorite Tina Fey is the second smartest person in TV and the 51st most powerful woman in entertainment! It is a pleasure to see her get the recognition she deserves. In the category of “Completely Obvious,” Oprah is ranked sixth in smarts, and reigns as the most powerful woman in entertainment.

And Tyra Banks, lauded as “in the running towards becoming America’s next top TV mogul” comes in at 23 on the EW list and 36 on the Hollywood Reporter list. I don’t watch any of the shows she hosts or produces, so I cannot really comment on this one.

The other women who appear on both lists are executives Nancy Tellem (EW: 3, Hollywood Reporter: 4) and Lauren Zalaznick (EW: 22, Hollywood Reporter: 17).

Amazingly, in addition to the five women I’ve already cited, the Entertainment Weekly list still has a few more. Given that “people” usually translates as “men” on EW lists, I’m impressed that 45% of this list is women. (You can check out the full list here.)

There’s Rachel Maddow at 14. You’d have to be an idiot to argue that she’s not smart, by any definition of smart. And she’s out, of course, which gets her extra points.

Salma Hayek comes in at 17. Glenn Close is 19. Sarah Silverman is half of 25.

And the collective Women of The View are 25.5. I guess this is some sort of Honorable Mention.

The Power list, not surprisingly, is mostly executives. But there are a few creative folks: Angelina Jolie (24), Shonda Rhimes (56), Rachel Ray (65).

And I’ll leave you with this disturbing assessment: Miley Cyrus (100) is, according to The Hollywood Reporter, more powerful than Ellen.

– by Ace

WANDA CALLS IN GAY This week on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Wanda Sykes made her first appearance on the show since publicly coming out as gay and married in November.

After Leno announced her name, she took her sweet time coming to the stage. Once there, she explained that she was “calling in gay” and giving Leno and the audience “a little taste of what it would be like if I didn’t show up.” This was a nod to December 10 being International Human Rights Day and “Day Without A Gay,” in which LGBT people were encouraged to stay home from work and donate their time to gay rights service instead.

Clad in a t-shirt bearing a rainbow-colored fist, Sykes joked with Leno about her impromptu public coming out at a Prop 8 rally in Las Vegas (“so much for ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!'”) and thanked him for always being “supportive and respectful” of her sexuality. They also talked about the ridiculousness of the idea that “gay rights” are “special rights.”

You can likely find the episode posted in its entirety tomorrow on hulu.com’s Tonight Show page, but, for now, watch a clip from the show below:  

As funny as her appearance was, the clip above ends on a low-note as far as I’m concerned. Wanda’s comment about how Prop 8 was based on the paranoid notion that gay marriages could affect heterosexual marriages devolved into a tired bit by the gay-friendly Leno about how lesbian sex is titillating for men.

When he blathered, “You lesbians, go to straight guys’ houses, make love on their floor. They will vote for this amendment!” I wanted to say to my TV, “Oh Jay. I know you’re trying to help. But that’s the problem. Too many straight guys did ‘vote for this amendment’. ‘Yes on 8’ meant no to gay marriage, remember?”

And that’s the other problem – the vote was over a month ago.

There’s no way for any of those straight guys (or anyone else) to vote for gay people in California now anyway, regardless of Sykes’s charm and hilarity or Leno’s eagerness to have Sykes as a guest and give her a platform to talk about gay issues.

After the break, the conversation moved away from gay rights to national politics. Sykes raved about how great it will be to have some “action” in the White House between the President and the First Lady (adding, “we finally got a First Lady with a nice ass!”) and how US automakers need to stop making gas-guzzlers. And the PT Cruiser.

by Karman Kregloe

LESBIAN TEENS IN A POST-9/11 WORLD Not living in New York City, I don’t think much about the long-term effects of 9/11 on its residents. But a new web series called Anyone But Me brings awareness of the challenges of growing up in a generation that doesn’t remember life pre-9/11. The first episode premiered Monday on Strike TV (thanks to Kate Clinton for the link). Lesbian writer/creator Tina Cesa Ward blogs about her motivation for creating Anyone But Me:

… many of the kids in New York have grown up not knowing the city any other way than it is now. They may think nothing about the See something, Say something ads. Or the frequent bag searches or even the occasional armed military security on the streets. This is the world they’ve always known. I felt sad about that for a time, but then I realized they can’t mourn what they don’t know they’ve lost. So exploring this theme intrigued me a great deal.
Susan Miller, the “one-breasted, Jewish, bisexual lesbian mom” who won an Obie Award for My Left Breast and is a writer/producer for The L Word, is co-creator of the web series.

The story opens as 16-year-old Vivian McMillan (Rachael Hip-Flores) breaks the news to her girlfriend, Aster (Nicole Pacent), that she’s leaving NYC. Vivian’s dad, Gabe (Dan Via), is a firefighter with respiratory problems resulting from being a part of the 9/11 rescue effort. Gabe’s health has forced him to retire, so he and Vivian are moving to Westchester to start over. Unfortunately, that means Vivian has to be separated from the love of her life. Ward and Miller also explore the many levels of coming out. Vivian is comfortable with her sexuality, but in a new high school and a new neighborhood, she essentially has to come out over and over. Although the first episode mostly was setup for the story, I was glad to see the relationship between Vivian and Aster treated as a non-issue. Vivian kissed Aster goodbye with her dad waiting in the car without as much as a glance back to see if Gabe was watching. And the chemistry between the two girls is undeniable. I like both of the actresses a lot, too. I especially love Hip-Flores’ voice.  

Watch the first episode of Anyone But Me and let us know what you think. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing more.

   

Editor’s note: Starting next week, we’ll be running this as a video series on AfterEllen.com, so look for the second episode here on Monday.

– by the linster

REMEMBERING DOROTHY PORTER AE readers Sashi and Gemma tipped us off that out Australian poet and author Dorothy Porter died of breast cancer this week at the age of 54.

Dorothy is perhaps best known for her 1994 novel The Monkey’s Mask, which was later made into a film starring Kelly McGillis, but she is widely respected among Australians, and literary critics around the world, for several works. A versatile and popular writer (she wrote critically acclaimed poetry, young adult fiction, crime fiction, and music lyrics), Porter was working on a rock opera at the time of her death. Dorothy lived with her partner, Australian novelist Andrea Goldsmith, in Melbourne.

JON STEWART DOES IT AGAIN Earlier this week, Jon Stewart took on Gov. Mike Huckabee about gay marriage on The Daily Show, refuting his argument about “not redefining gay marriage” by pointing out that marriage has been continually redefined over the centuries. Huckabee keeps going back to the tired argument about not wanting to redefine the word “marriage,” and Jon keeps trying to pin him down on why that matters so much.

Worst quote of the interview? Huckabee responding to Jon’s point about interracial marriage once being illegal with the assertion, “there’s a big difference between a person being black and a person practicing a lifestyle.” (Jon’s response is an innovative one – that religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality is, and religious folks gets lots of rights and protections.)

Best quote? Jon telling Huckabee, “It’s a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.”

Second best quote? “I would suggest that a loving gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline any day.” Amen!

Watch it for yourself here:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM – Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

 

by Sarah Warn

GOING OUT IN STYLE Tonight The N airs the final episode of South of Nowhere, the teen show that was technically an ensemble drama but was really all about the relationship between Spencer (Gabrielle Christian) and Ashley (Mandy Musgrave) as they progressed from friends to lovers, to ex’s, to lovers again. Throw in a homophobic-turned-accepting mom (Maeve Quinlan), an ex-boyfriend to stir things up (Matt Cohen), and siblings with issues, and you have all the makings of a good angsty teen lesbian romance.

The show definitely jumped the shark in the third season (if not the second), but for awhile there, we actually had an interesting, edgy show about a lesbian teen relationship, and it was good.

Thanks to all the showrunners, writers, producers, directors, and actors who made the world a little better for queer teens.

Given the finale, it’s fitting that GLAAD should roll out its new PSA today, starring Gaby and Maeve (and Lauren Collins and Adam Ruggiero from Degrassi: Next Generation) talking about the importance of being friends with gay people (well, that’s not exactly what it says, but you get the idea). This PSA is one of 22 new spots which will appear on national cable networks and local affiliates throughout 2009.

Watch it here now:  

The style is a little too formal for my taste, but the sentiment is terrific. I wish there had been PSAs on TV like this when I was a teenager! But I just got images of eggs sizzling in a skillet with an ominous voice saying, “this is your brain on drugs.” If Maeve and Gaby had been frying the eggs, I might have paid more attention.

LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK NO. 3 “…that was some really good work that happened there.”

Mandy Musgrave (South of Nowhere) on her “make-out, throw-her-down-on-the-table scene” with Gabrielle Christian in a yet-to-be-seen episode of Angela Robinson‘s web series Girltrash, in her AfterEllen.com interview. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Bravo has renewed Tabatha’s Salon Takeover.

Showtime is developing a reality show about coming out.

Rachel Maddow‘s recent interview with Huckabee is generating some discussion among bloggers about her responsibility when it comes to covering gay issues. Read these thoughtful and divergent takes on the topic: Pam’s House Blend, Feministing, Tami’s blog.

As chair of the White House’s Council on Environmental Quality, Nancy Sutley will be the first high-level openly gay official appointed by Barack Obama.

We’ll be posting a new Zurich episode of You Can’t Take Them Anywhere! later this afternoon (Friday), but first, look for a Very Special Episode of Cat on the Prowl with Very Special Guest: she’s one of this year’s Golden Globe nominees; she’s had more than one woman fall in love with her on screen (and probably off-screen, too); and I realized I was gay while watching one of her movies. Commence guessing in the comments! It’s Mary-Louise Parker!

by Sarah Warn

That’s it for this week! Got the inside scoop on a hot new lesbian/bi actor/musician/TV show/film? Tell us at [email protected]. Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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