“South of Nowhere” Recap: Episode 3.16 “On the Precipice”

Fixing it in “post”
Spencer is having a meltdown in
the video editing bay. She whines, “My
senior project is due tomorrow and I don’t have a beginning, middle or
end.” Oh honey, I know your pain. People say, “Fix it in post!” but they really have no idea what that means, or
how much you want to kill them when they say it.

Editing expert Ashley assures her that just how “most
films are” and advises her to dress in black for the screening so that everyone
just thinks she’s a genius. Then, she
suspects, some Hollywood
hot shot will try to woo her and Spencer will ultimately leave her for Portia
De Rossi.

Do you think Spencer would ever get away with giving her
drama queen girlfriend advice that was equally glib?

Ashley than changes the subject of how awesome it is for
them to be having breakfast together, and wonders how even awesome-er it would
be if they could have breakfast together every day (i.e. “Don’t leave me and go
away to fake college!”).

Spencer suddenly remembers that she has to conduct an
important interview with Glen (about what, athletic cups?) and Ashley snaps at
her for always changing the subject when they talk about “The Future.”

Spencer tells her that she does want to talk about their
future, but could they please do it after Spencer finishes her work and
graduates in two days? Ashley sighs and
waves her away with a bejeweled hand.

The princess is displeased.

It’s not easy bein’
green
Aiden rolls up in his
new green ride that runs on vegetable oil (but probably also has vibrating
seats) in hopes of impressing newly
turned do-gooder Kyla. He worries that
she won’t think it’s as “sexy” as his bike (or the road rash he got when he
wiped out on it a couple of weeks ago).

Tired of “cheating death” on his crotch rocket, Aiden has
decided instead to become a Mercedes Boy. Do you wanna ride?

It’s the cheesiest — Glen
returns to Chelsea studio full of excitement about the prospect of finding a
job in France, living on the Left Bank, and enjoying some gnarly-smelling
“fromage” with his soon to be beret-clad girlfriend. Glen thoughtfully bought her the beret, but
Chelsea tells him she always dreamt of moving to Paris and buying one for
herself.

Not understanding that “buying my own beret” is really code
for “I want to go to Paris without you,” Glen dons the one he purchased and
offers to make it his own.

She finally spells it out for him, telling him that the trip
to Paris is a chance for her to become someone new, and that if he’s there with
her then she’s just her old self. Having
managed to stay his same old douche-y self when he moved from Ohio to California,
Glen doesn’t really understand. But he
does get the hint and is understandably upset. He leaves and Chelsea cries tears of joy.