“The Fosters” recap (2.20): Tea Drinker

Previously on The Fosters, Stef had the brilliant plan to blackmail Robert, get Callie emancipated in record time, and then swoop in and adopt her. Foolproof, right? Lena promised Stef that she would stop processing (and flirting) with her boss. Brandon told the band he wasn’t going on tour with them, told Mariana that the moms aren’t going to adopt Ana’s baby, and stole some mail out of Ana’s trash. Mariana convinced Emma to join the dance team. Jude and Connor snuck out and when they broke into Taylor’s house to get some whiskey, Taylor’s dad came down with guns blazing and shot somebody.

At the hospital Stef and Lena want to know what the devil Judicorn was thinking and whose stupid idea it was to break into Taylor’s house and drink. He can’t remember. Connor’s dad is relieved to learn that Connor is going to be just fine in spite of having a bullet go through his foot. He’s also concerned with why Connor would do something so idiotic. Connor tells him that he snuck out to see Jude. Connor’s dad pops out to the waiting room and say that Connor is going to be fine after surgery then he asks to talk to Lena. She reports back that Connor told his dad all of it was Jude’s idea and now Connor’s pops doesn’t think Jude and Connor should be friends anymore.

Fosters 2201 I wish Dr. Ted Schmidt were here like last time.

At breakfast all the kids want to know what’s going to happen to Jude. Lena tells them to mind their own business and maybe shut up about consequences since none of them have ever been punished for anything in their lives. Stef and Lena agree that maybe now is not the moment to tell the kids they are getting another sibling. Lena makes a crack about Stef having yet another super secret plan before skipping on upstairs to get ready. Ladies, please go to your room, get naked, and have sex until you have worked all of this shit out! Four out of five doctors recommend sexual healing.

Mariana wants to confirm her plans with Stef for a driving lesson. She and Jesús have their permit and would like some road time. Brandon makes a crack about Mariana failing her test the first time and she snaps back that she thought the questions were tricks since they were so easy. Your Hermione is showing, Mariana. Stef forgot about the lesson and Mariana’s dentist appointment so she presses Brandon into service. He objects on the grounds that princes don’t shuttle their siblings around.

Callie can’t believe Jude would do something so stupid. Callie, I love you but I think you are the last person equipped to be giving Jude a lecture on stupid decisions. Maybe Jude shouldn’t hang out with Connor; he’s a bad influence. That’s all Jude can take. He tells her to shut up and stop telling him what to do. I’m with Jude on this one, Callie.

Ana wants to be sure Mike doesn’t mind if she borrows a ratty blanket to take to her new apartment. He doesn’t want her to go but she’s set on leaving and giving her baby to Stef and Lena. She will grow up in a good home with her brother and sister.

Fosters 2202 I have died of dysentery?