“The Returned” recap (1.2): Hello, Officer

Back at the Dog Star, some cops are asking questions about Lucy. Lena’s friends tip the cops off to Simon, but don’t know anything about him other than the fact that he was kind of creepy and sort of a dick to Lena. As the cops take the bartender back to the station for questioning, Lena notices a drumset and it reminds her that she met Simon when she was younger. She finds a picture of the two of them in the bar, and probably wonders why all these dead people keep coming back to life.

At the police station, the hot lady cop gets pretty aggressive during questioning. She yells at the bartender, claiming that he stabbed Lucy just like he stabbed some other woman years ago. He says that he has done zero stabbing, but hot cop pulls out even more photos of bitten/stabbed ladies’ torsos. The bartender obviously knows something, and Tommy wants to know what it is.

photo4But, seriously though, who the fuck bites a torso?

Claire and Peter (aka Elton from Clueless) are having coffee and talking about how fucked up the current situation is. I can’t get a good read on their relationship. They’ve obviously been banging, but Peter seems totally fine with the fact that Claire wants to maybe get back with her ex. Also, I’m willing to maybe forgive Camille’s parents for being cool about their daughter returning from the dead, but why in heaven’s name is this dude being so casual about it all?! So bizarre.

Camille comes downstairs; she hasn’t been sleeping. She sees Peter and they have the following exchange:

Camille: I’m a zombie.
Peter: You’re a miracle.
Camille: No darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Just kidding. What Camille actually says is that she doesn’t know why she’s the only one to come back if a whole bus load of kids died. Valid point, zombie.

Simon shows up at the library where Rowan works, because I guess he likes to emotionally torment the people he cares the most about. She talks to him like he’s really there, even though she thinks he’s not (even though he actually is). She tries to make peace with her past, but Simon leaves the moment she gets distracted. As he’s walking away from the library, the cops stop him (presumably for “matching” the kids from the bar’s vague “description”).

photo5“Goodbye, ghost lover.”

Camille sees her mom making out with Peter in the middle of their driveway. Good job pretending to not be broken up with Jack for your daughter’s sake, Claire! Mom of the Year candidate, right here. Anyway, Claire comes back inside and notices that Camille has been in Lena’s room, and she ripped up a bunch of photos because she’s definitely not okay.

Camille, meanwhile, has run away to stalk her older-twin-sister at the Dog Star.  A boy that she used to know asks her if she wants a drink, but she says no because obviously boys have cooties. Her mom finally finds her and Camille cries about how the boy, Hunter, didn’t recognize her. I asked my wife (who also has an identical twin sister) if she found this scenario bogus, and she agreed that it’s weird Hunter didn’t recognize Camille—especially considering he hangs out with her twin sister everyday.

Simon is at the police station, handcuffed to a table. Sheriff Tommy accuses him of identity theft, because he knows that Rowan’s fiance Simon died six years ago. The guys have a weird and random competitive moment about Rowan, and then Tommy exerts his masculinity by having Nikki lock up Simon. Nikki, by the way, is like a magical blend of Katee Sackhoff in her Longmire uniform crossed with the pent up anger and swagger of Betty McCrae. I am into it.

photo6Oh hey, officer. You can stay.

Later that night, Tommy finds an old photo of Simon (who looks exactly like he did at the police station) and Rowan. Guess he’s not an identity theft-er, eh Tommy?

Julie still has creepy Victor sleeping on her couch. Girl. What are you doing? Just stop it. She goes to have a good long cry and a bath before bed, and Victor takes out some markers to draw. Little kids drawing pictures never ends well—have you ever seen The Ring? Seriously, my oldest niece is only, like, two, but I still worry that one day she’ll hand me a terrifying scribble that will eventually come to life and murder me.

Anyway. Victor’s drawing looks like the dam that the old man jumped off of in the last episode, for what that’s worth. In the other room, Julie takes her shirt off to get in the bath, and she has the same scars on her torso that were in the evidence photos earlier, bite marks and all.

Are you guys creeped out yet? Are you having trouble keeping track of all the characters? (I am.) Let me know in the comments or on twitter @jennalykes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *