“South of Nowhere” Recaps: Episode 2.10 “Love, Child, and Videotape”

Ashley's BoudoirSpencer is in Ashley's bed (which is just so right), but she's sitting there alone and looking bored (which is just so wrong). Kyla does her usual no-knock barge-in and snacks on the coffee and doughnuts that Spencer has brought for Ashley — who is outside on the phone talking to Aiden. (Instead of in bed with Spencer? WTF?)

Kyla: What don't they just get back together and put us all out of our misery.


Spencer: No! Hello, I like being with her!
Kyla: That's not what I mean. It's just that it's all so incestuous.

Ashley hears this as she traipses back into the bedroom wearing, well, not much at all. (Is it just me or is Season 2 Ashley often scantily clad? I guess it's because she's a junior now.)

Ashley: Well it wasn't nearly as bad until you got here!

She jumps all over Kyla for dipping into her breakfast, and Kyla scoots out the door.

Kyla: It must be nice to have someone bring you coffee and doughnuts for breakfast.
Ashley: Yeah, it is! And what do you want? I already told you that I don't have your Kelly Clarkson CD.
Spencer: Oh, I love Kelly Clarkson.
Ashley: And I love you anyway.

Mock her if you must, but the powerful magic of Kelly Clarkson conjured an “I love you” for us from Spencer and Ashley!

Ashley's bitch mother comes in and announces that MTV wants Ash and Kyla to be presenters at an MTV awards show where their dad will be honored. Hysteria ensues and Kyla exits, shrieking. Ash invites Spencer to come along as her date, but Spencer declines. She wants the two sisters to share that moment alone. Ash switches gears and hands Spencer a card containing a gift that she had intended “for our anniversary or whatever” but couldn't bear to hold off any longer.

The contents?

Ashley: Me! A full night of me!
Spencer: [reading the card] “Good for one night of undivided attention and devotion from Ashley.” You are so lucky that I think you are so cute and funny, or you would be a complete egomaniac.
Ashley: Yes, but I'm your egomaniac.

Spencer's egomaniac demands a quick peck on the lips, and she gets one.

Well this episode's starting off with a bang!

King High — Spencer and Chelsea are walking to class together, and Spence has picked up on the distance between Chelsea and Clay. When she asks about it, Chelsea dodges the question and deftly changes the subject to the latest Spencer/Ashley/Paula drama (or rather the current lack thereof).

Across Campus — The wicked stepsisters are having an actual conversation with one another as they walk to class. Ashley asks Kyla how she's getting by without Aiden around, and she seems to be doing it without any sort of evil subtext. She even tells Kyla some of the nice things Aiden said about her as Kyla rifles through Ash's locker in search of her Spanish book. When Kyla asks Ash how she can find anything in her pigsty of a locker, Ash snaps, “I've got everything I need right here. Lip gloss and car keys.”

Kyla: Uh, yeah. Schoolbooks? Homework?
Ash: Uh, don't care. Trust fund.

That's the spirit!

Kyla gives up on finding her book and declares that she'll just share with the cute boy who sits next to her. She walks away to class and Ashley loudly calls after her: "That's it. I like that. Back in the saddle. Go girl. We need to have lunch together today to have the MTV talk."

It's all very Hollywood Ash, and it's all very inappropriate because she's shouting her rock star plans as she walks into her next class. Late. Again.

Late? Hell, I didn't even know she attended actual classes!

And why come late to this class? Spencer's in it, and it looks like English Lit led by a teacher cool enough to have a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson on the board (“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”). I'm just saying that if it were me, I'd roll in late to gym or math. Or both.

Ash smarts off (“My sister ate my homework”) and is unceremoniously given the heave-ho from the room. On the way out, she mugs at the window for her classmates and gets a big laugh. Especially from Spencer, which is kinda cute.

Spencer: [giggling] Oh wow, I have no idea why my mom is so worried about me being with her.